whirling down the shitbowl

Going to pot, going to hell in a handbasket; a way of saying that a situation or a person's condition is deteriorating extremely rapidly.

Mom's mind is whirling down the shitbowl; she always forgets to take her meds, she lies in bed naked all day, she has poopinary and pissinary incontinence, she won't even get up to get a glass of water.

by Telephony May 04, 2019

douche out

To rinse; usually with fresh water.

Hey Norm, don't forget to douche out that carafay before you start a new pot of coffee!

by Telephony July 17, 2014

Santa Clause

An unfortunate but extremely common misspelling of Santa Claus, a fat man who breaks into people's homes every December 24th, guzzles their milk, devours their cookies, and usually leaves presents under the tree -- though if your children behaved especially shittly earlier in the year, a lump of coal that's been uranated on will be deposited in their Christmas stocking instead of brightly-wrapped presents.

Santa usually enters people's homes via the fireplace chimney; though if the chimney's plugged up, the flue is closed, if a fire is still burning, or if the person lives in an apartment and has no chimney, he'll find some other method of entrance and egress -- such as by jimmying a window.

Santa Clause came down the chimney last night and left a huge pile of coal that smelled like piss! Wonder what the children did to piddle off the fat bastard so much?!?

by Telephony December 25, 2020

lamerz

How a lamer might spell the word, "lamers"

{Seen in the scroll text of an Abyss demo on the Commodore 64 computer in the late-1980s}:

A ? TO EVERYONE: ONLY A FAGGOT WOULD REPLACE THE "S" WITH THE "Z" .. EX. WARES AND WAREZ. LAMERS AND LAMERZ. WHAT IS YOUR GUY'S GAY INCEST WITH THE "Z" KEY?

by Telephony June 05, 2015

carafee

Carafee (pron. "\kə-RAf' ē"\): How some people pronounce the word, "carafe" (pron. "\kə-ˈRAF\") -- you know, like one of those glass coffeepots from a coffeemaker or a glass wine decanter.

{Paul}: I douched out the carafee but the coffee still tastes like shit.
{Craig} Maybe you need to wash the filter basket too.

by Telephony December 19, 2020

goopenthal

This phoney-bologna word is used by Hank Hill on the television program, "King of the Hill" to describe any type of psychoactive medication, such as Ritalin, Tofranil (used to stop enuresis), Prozac, Xanax, Cymbalta, trazodone, etc. Not so fake any more though; as I've heard it used in conversations over the last several years.

Bobby's taking goopenthal again to help put an end to him pissing the bed every night.

Hey bub, I'm not gonna let you come in here all hopped up on goopenthal!

by Telephony September 03, 2013

P-O-D-D-Y

A fake, fictional, phoney-bologna song, sung to the tune of the campfire song, "B-I-N-G-O".

♪ There was a john that had a name and Poddy was its name-o! ♪
♪ P-O-D-D-Y ♪
♪ P-O-D-D-Y ♪
♪ P-O-D-D-Y ♪
♪ And Poddy was its name-o! ♪

by Telephony July 23, 2018