telephony's definitions

charmangulation

Tearing, ripping, or otherwise mutilating the first several sheets off of a new toilet roll in an attempt to find the "start".

Man that's totally F'ed up!!! You really committed charmangulation on that roll of bungwipe, didn't you?

by Telephony November 15, 2010

public enema number one

Very similar to "public enemy number one"; perhaps a little worse (how much worse can it get?!?)

Jayden is public enema number one for stealing the food from the foodbank and throwing it into a burning dipsty dumpster!!! Man, what a class A-1 prick!!!

by Telephony January 24, 2011

Master Bator

A Master Bator is somebody who, because of the sheer number of times they have masturbated (choked the chicken, administered corporal punishment to a primate {spanked the monkey}, jacked off, beat off, jerked off, beat their meat, whacked off, played pocket pool, wanked off, etc.), has become an expert at it -- a true master masturbator (or Master Bator).

Works better when written or typed vs. when spoken.

Hozay hasn't gotten any tail in such a long time that he's become a true-to-life Master Bator!!!

by Telephony August 22, 2012

bloody hatchet wound

Slang term for the female cunt; esp. if that pussy's owner is on the rag.

Don't fuck Jessica tonight; she has a bloody hatchet wound and you'll get your dick covered in her menstruation!!!

by Telephony September 30, 2018

carperpetuation

The act of, when vaccuming, running over a piece of lint or string eight or nine times with the vacuum cleaner, picking it up, examining it, then throwing it back down to give the vacuum one last chance.
Repeat as frequently as necessary.

Linda!
You're doing carperpetuation again!
Just take that fucking piece of string over to the wastepaperbasket or flush it away in the shitbowl instead of pissing away the whole goddamn day trying to vaccum it up!

by Telephony August 6, 2014

plastic cat toliet

An alternate phrase that is simply another way of saying "litterbox".

Called the "plastic cat toliet" because litterboxes are generally made of plastic and they have but one function: a cat pisses & shits into it -- thus making it a toliet for cats.

Craig, it's time to clean out the plastic cat toliet; it's getting awfully full!!!

by Telephony December 27, 2011

TGIF

An acronym standing for "Tits Go In Front".

Don't you know that the TGIF you dumb broad?!?

by Telephony December 31, 2010