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telephony's definitions

wheezer

Hey Ethyl!
Can you please bring over my wheezer? I'm having a bit of trouble with my athsma.
by Telephony November 23, 2013
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pissblanket

A plastic mattress protector; used to prevent a mattress from becoming wrecked if somebody has enuresis (if they piss the bed). They are often found on beds at group homes and similar facilities.
Robbins then thinks about the pissblankets on every bed in the joint, so he rips the pissblanket off of one of the beds, goes around and unscrews all of the light bulbs he can get to, pours the generous helping of light bulbs into the pissblanket (approx. 24 bulbs), gathers up the edges, and whirls the bulging pissblanket over his head -- striking the wall with it a number of times until he is absolutely, positively, 100% certain that all of the bulbs inside are busted. He then crams the pissblanket and its cargo of broken bulbs into a nearby wastepaperbasket.
by Telephony April 16, 2011
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charmangulation

Tearing, ripping, or otherwise mutilating the first several sheets off of a new toilet roll in an attempt to find the "start".
Man that's totally F'ed up!!! You really committed charmangulation on that roll of bungwipe, didn't you?
by Telephony November 15, 2010
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pee water

In the Beavis and Butt-Head episode, "Buy Beer", this is how the clerk at the convenience store described The Edge non-alcoholic "beer" that Beavis & Butt-Head were purchasing.
{clerk} O, you guys are buying that pee water. I guess I can sell that crap to you.
by Telephony April 4, 2020
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Fell heezes over

Used if you don't have the balls to say, "Hell freezes over". Also it can be used on fora or BBSs when the onboard censor nukes the word Hell.
Snow in Houston? When Fell heezes over!
by Telephony December 12, 2017
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synthetic whistling

Not all dissimilar to synthetic clapping, synthetic birds, synthetic finger popping, etc.
It is the sound of human whistling created solely by synthesizer hardware or computer software synthesis. Most frequently heard on TV commercials for various & sundry household products; especiall.

No actual lips are injured or otherwise harmed when synthetic whistling is employed.
The Take Control margarine advertisement from the turn of the century had this horrid synthetic whistling in it. Made me want to throw a large tub of frozen Gold & Soft margarine right through my TV set's boob tube and then suck up all of the glass with a bagged upright vaccume cleaner so that the cat doesn't cut her paws on it! :-(
by Telephony May 8, 2015
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public enema number one

Very similar to "public enemy number one"; perhaps a little worse (how much worse can it get?!?)
Jayden is public enema number one for stealing the food from the foodbank and throwing it into a burning dipsty dumpster!!! Man, what a class A-1 prick!!!
by Telephony January 24, 2011
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