eye booger

Another name for sleep in your eye; it resembles a desiccated (dried up) booger from your nose.
Hold on a moment; let me get this eye booger out of my eye!
by Telephony April 26, 2014
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monkey sheets

Bed sheets stained with spooge because you masturbated and then subsequently ejaculated onto them.
Monkey sheets are frequently characterised by having a queer odour.
{Beavis and Butt-Head dressing themselves as ghosts for Halloween}

{Beavis}: Hey Butt-Head, this sheet smells funny.
{Butt-Head}: Yeah, huh huh. Those are my special monkey sheets.
{Beavis}: O fuck! Get it off! Get it off!! GET IT OFF!!!
by Telephony February 15, 2020
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urinal mint

One of those pink urinal deodouriser cakes found at the bottoms of many types of urinals.
Rick, please don't eat the urinal mints!!! I hear that they taste horrible!!!
by Telephony November 29, 2010
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BarneySplat

BarneySplat was a BBS door game that allowed the player to do all kinds of cruel things to our favourite bloated & distended purple dinosaur Barney.

Released by Bong Software in 1993, this text-only game allowed the player to get Barney drunk or stoned; even Baby Bop and the kids get to smoke out and get hammered. You also receive opportunities to kill the satanic purple pedophile ?(along with everybody el;se!) in addition to getting everybody ripped or stupid-drunk until they're all eliminated from the game.

An example screen would look like this:

"I have an idea!" Barney says. "Let's have a TEA party!"
Everyone gets out the tea and cookies, you get ready your arsonic and alcohol.

Fun things to try at the "TEA" party:
(S)pike it
try to make (P)eace tea
or (D)on't do anything
Hey Carlton! That BBS I was just on has BarneySplat in their door games menu!
by Telephony June 22, 2019
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doucheknocker

A female version of a fartknocker or a buttknocker.
While I was flying the drone, I "heard" a jingle for Bob's Discount Furniture but with altered lyrics.
To wit:

♪ Bob's Bob-O-Pedics ♪
♪ From your åšs#Ø£€ to your ṕ€nµs ♪
♪ Some doucheknocker neutralised a hat!!! ♪
{~850ms silence}
♪ Bob's Bob-O-Pedics! ♪
by Telephony January 23, 2021
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Hammermaker Schlemmner

What some people call Hammacher Schlemmer -- the catalogue of somewhat unusual (and usually quite expen$ive) products that's been around since 1848.
Hey Dean! I just got the Holiday 2016 copy of the Hammermaker Schlemmner catalogue, and they have a self-heating bathrobe in it! I think I'll get on the blower and order one right now!
by Telephony November 24, 2016
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merferator

Hey, this TP is down to the merferator! Can you toss me another roll?
by Telephony November 16, 2010
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