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fece

The singular form of the word feces; that is to say, a single stool floating in the shitbowl or lying on the ground, waiting to be stepped in and subsequently tracked inside the house.
{Hoolio}: Hey look out Hozay, there's a fece that you're about to step in!!!
{Hozay}: Thanks Hoolio! I'm glad that you told me about that so I didn't step on it and track it all over the rug inside!

{Horhay}: Hey George, did you forget to flush? There's a fece half covered in bungwipe floating in the water and you're the last one to use the bathroom!
by Telephony September 6, 2013
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horse puckey cat

A cat whos ass smells like horse shit.
Cats putting their litterbox muscles in your face is not as uncommon as one might think, so you can get a snootful fairly readily. :-/
Piss you!!! My f'in cat is a true horse puckey cat if ever there was one!!!
by Telephony April 24, 2015
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poo-poo spray

Any type of air deodorant / air freshener that comes in an aerosol bomb (spray can).
{Marge}: Homer, did you just leave a big fat shit in our toliet?
{Homer}: Yes dear, and I even remembered to flush!
{Marge}: The bathroom stinks to high heaven; next time please use the poo-poo spray, ok?
by Telephony July 30, 2016
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Textie McTexterson

Somebody who spends almost every waking minute on his or her cellular telephone handset texting.
Alex, I've picked out a cellular telephone phone just for you, Mr. Textie McTexterson!!!
by Telephony January 9, 2019
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cigarette stub

Hey Jackson!
Check out that sand urn in front of the 7-11!!
It's just overflowing with cigarette stubs -- guess nobody believes in cleaning the fucker!!!
by Telephony August 16, 2013
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hot water heater

What many people (even news anchors on well-respected TV news channels!) call a water heater.

You don't want to heat water that's already hot for Pete sakes!! It's proper to call it a 'water heater' or you can even call it a 'hot water tank' -- but never a 'hot water heater'.
{Latoya}: Gary, I think the hot water heater is busted; I can't get any hot water out of this faucet to do the dishes!

{Gary}: Latoya, we don't have a 'hot water heater' -- we might have a hot water cooler, a water heater, or a hot water tank, but no hot water heater! Which of those do you want me to check?
by Telephony August 16, 2012
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spider under the table

This phrase means exactly the same as a fly on the wall -- that is, somebody who covertly watches or listens in on something that is not intended for them to see or hear.
From the Star Trek: The Next Generation episode, "Lower Decks":

"How would you like to be a spider under that table?"
"What?"
"A spider under the table."
"Is that like a fly on the wall?"
"I guess so."
by Telephony August 29, 2014
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