telephony's definitions

I've Been Sittin on the Toilet

A phoney-bologna fake made-up song, sung to the tune of, "I've Been Working on the Railroad".

♫ I've been sittin on the toilet ♫

♫ All the live-long day ♫

♫ I've been sittin on the toilet ♫

♫ Just to piss my life away ♫

♫ Don't you hear the whizzer flushing ♫

♫ Sleep in so late in the day ♫

♫ Can't you hear your neighbour yelling ♫

♫ Quick, get the poo-poo spray! ♫

by Telephony July 30, 2016

Walkwoman

A Walkwoman is a Sony Walkman in hot pink color; designed for use exclusively by women (or fags).

The original Walkman came in an aluminum body colored silver and dark baby blue -- clearly designed to be a man's music machine.

Jane, don't forget to take your Walkwoman and a few sets of batteries for it. We have an eleven hour bus trip ahead of us!

by Telephony July 31, 2016

ugly giant bags of mostly water

Plain & simple: human beings, as described by the silicon-based life forms on Velara III from the Star trek: The Next Generation episode, "Home Soil".

{Seen on a web page some number of years ago:}
Ugly, ugly giant bags of mostly water.
Flush the "toliet" bowl and click a link

by Telephony August 6, 2016

corporate douche

The president of a company who has lousy, bottom-of-the-barrel customer service and even shittier TV commercials is known as a corporate douche.
The corporate version of an asshaberdasher.

The head of Wall*Mart is such a huge corporate douche for having commercials made using that swollen and distended urine-yellow smiley dressed up in a Zorro costume floating around, breaking shit, and hacking at store price flares with this big-ass knife!

by Telephony August 12, 2016

Shampoo

What some people call the Orca whale Shamu at Seaworld in San Diego USA.

{trainer in the water with Shamu}: Here Shampoo!
{Shamu} Emits several brief squeals and then douches his trainer rather thoroughly with huge jets of water

by Telephony August 12, 2016

TubeHead

Somebody who spends waaaaaayyyyy too much of his or her time watching those stupid dumb cat videos (or a glut of ANY videos for that matter) on YouTube is known as a TubeHead.

{Chris}: Damn, Craig sure spends an awful lot of time watching lightning videos on YouTube doesn't he?
{Dan}: Yeah, Craig is a true-blue total TubeHead!

by Telephony August 13, 2016

There's Urine in the Sink

A phoney bologna fake, made-up song sung to the tune of, "The Farmer in the Dell".
Usually sung when it is necessary to pass micturition (piss) into a plastic bottle and then discreetly pour it into the sink.

♫ There's urine in the sink, ♫

♫ There's urine in the sink, ♫

♫ Don't piss on the stereo ♫

♫ There's urine in the sink, ♫

by Telephony August 17, 2016