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telephony's definitions

shampoopoo

Shampoo that while it sound like it would be pleasant when you read the label in a store, really sucks big walrus cock when you take it home and use it; forcing you to dump it in the toliet or down the lavatory drain and purchase a new bottle of some other variety.

Not to be confused with shampiss, shampee, shampiddle, or shampotty.
{Mike, at store}: Hey Chris, didn't you just buy a big-ass bottle of shampoo a day or so ago?

{Chris, at same store}: Yeah Mike, but it was shampoopoo! It was Suave Lotus Pedals but it really smelled like shit so I got rid of it!
by Telephony June 21, 2012
mugGet the shampoopoomug.

piss the bed

The incorrect way to say, "piss in the bed".
After all, you don't say, "piss the toilet" or, "piss the bottle"; you'd say, "piss IN the toilet" or, "piss IN the bottle".
{Mother} : Jimmy, no more Kool Aid tonight or else you might piss the bed.
{Jimmy}: Mommy, don't you mean I might piss in the bed?
by Telephony May 3, 2018
mugGet the piss the bedmug.

asshole doctor

Not this morning Dean, I have an appointment with the asshole doctor at 8:15 so he can take a look at my anal warts!
by Telephony May 16, 2014
mugGet the asshole doctormug.

sp.

The most widely-used abbreviation for the word "spelling".
Alright, who uranated in the teapot again? {sp. intentional}
by Telephony April 9, 2012
mugGet the sp.mug.

micturition you!

A phrase used to indicate the fact that something or somebody reeks a little.
A bit stronger than pee you!!! but not ***NEARLY*** as strong as piss you!!!.

FYI micturition is another name for pee.
Micturition you! That cup of yogurt I just opened is a bit stinky. Must have gone off a few days ago.
by Telephony April 6, 2015
mugGet the micturition you!mug.

flushlight

(n.) \flush'līt\ A flashlight (usually an LED flashlight) that's so pathetically dim for its size that you just want to viciously throw it at one of those wall-mounted porcelain uranators or into a toliet to watch it explode into hundreds of sharp little bits (the flashlight, not the pisscan or the shitbowl).
{Linda}: Hey Freddy, please go grab me the flashlight so I can see what's making that squeaky noise behind the toliet!!!

{Freddy}: Got it! {click...click...click...} Shit! This fucking thing is a true flushlight if ever there was one! What a PWPOSMF!! It's so fucking dim that you couldn't see the bottom of an empty wastepaperbasket on a sunny day!!!
by Telephony November 6, 2012
mugGet the flushlightmug.

rabbit ears

What you'll see if you pull your front pants pockets completely inside-out; performing this action empties the entire contents of your pockets -- even tobacco fragments and lint cannot escape detection here.

When somebody points at your pockets and demands to see rabbit ears, you are unquestionably being accused of theft.
{Josh}: Drake, empty those pockets! I have a $50 bill missing and I'm pretty sure that you took it.
{Drake}: {listlessly pulling things out of his pockets}
{Josh}: Cummon Drake, let's see some rabbit ears!
{Drake pulls his pockets inside-out; a $50 bill flutters to the ground}
{Josh}: I knew it, you lowlife butt wagon! It's a good thing that I won't call the fuzz and have your ass hauled off to the city joint!!!
by Telephony July 9, 2020
mugGet the rabbit earsmug.

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