stouffer's definitions

beer goggles

The strange appearance of contact lenses which elevate previously obnoxious multi warted hogs, to the status of worth having a go on.

"feels warm, smells nice, female... Good start, FUCK Me, i must of been wearing my beer Goggles, hope i had brewers droop, cus i'd hate to see the offspring of this one".

by stouffer March 4, 2003

wizard's beard

n. also Gandalf's Beard. A very hairy meat pie, where the lips appear to continue down the legs a lot further than normal due to copious amounts of hair.

"It took me ages to reach the beef curtains; I had to wrestle with her wizard's beard first"

by Stouffer November 7, 2002

spankathon

n. A long spank

"I spanked for a long time. It was almost a Spankathon."

by Stouffer November 7, 2002

Gandalf's beard

n. see wizard's beard

by Stouffer November 7, 2002

plums

n. Balls. Globes. Happy sacks.

"If you've finished polishing the captain, you could have a suck on my plums"

by Stouffer November 7, 2002

beer scooter

(extra credit to Dogfish)n. The remarkably quick method by which you get home after a night out on the piss, forcing you to remark you had an indelible mode of transport. (N.b. please also be aware of 'beer scooter with a puncture' which is a much slower form of transport, where you start out with speedy intentions; but spend the majority of the night dragging extra equipment attached to your legs)

"How did you get home Sebastian?"

"On a beer scooter"

"Oh"

by stouffer March 4, 2003

mystery taxi

(extra credit to Dogfish)n. similar to beer goggles in their effect on the morning after...but...when you're SO pissed you're SURE the woman you pulled last night was better looking than the bush hog you're lying next to when you wake up.

"holy shit...who the fuck are you? Bollocks, the pretty bird I pulled has been taken away by the Mystery Taxi. Please get out of my home"

by stouffer March 4, 2003