Gandalf's beard

n. see wizard's beard

by Stouffer November 07, 2002

captain

n. Hardened Cock. Erect Penis. Pan Handle

The captain stood to attention, and entered the ladie's garden.

by Stouffer November 07, 2002

spankathon

n. A long spank

"I spanked for a long time. It was almost a Spankathon."

by Stouffer November 07, 2002

plums

n. Balls. Globes. Happy sacks.

"If you've finished polishing the captain, you could have a suck on my plums"

by Stouffer November 07, 2002

beer scooter

(extra credit to Dogfish)n. The remarkably quick method by which you get home after a night out on the piss, forcing you to remark you had an indelible mode of transport. (N.b. please also be aware of 'beer scooter with a puncture' which is a much slower form of transport, where you start out with speedy intentions; but spend the majority of the night dragging extra equipment attached to your legs)

"How did you get home Sebastian?"

"On a beer scooter"

"Oh"

by stouffer March 04, 2003

beer muffs

n. Mystical auratory additions which remove the necessity for sensiant conversation, and replace any understanding of people speaking to you with a garble mess, to which a derogatory response is necessitated by being stunningly pissed.

"Now, Frank, the oven's on and I'm off out with the girls; remember to feed the baby, check on the dinner and pay the car tax. Okay?"

"I FECKIN' LARVE YOOO, YOOO FACKIN' SEXY MINX"

by stouffer March 04, 2003

mystery taxi

(extra credit to Dogfish)n. similar to beer goggles in their effect on the morning after...but...when you're SO pissed you're SURE the woman you pulled last night was better looking than the bush hog you're lying next to when you wake up.

"holy shit...who the fuck are you? Bollocks, the pretty bird I pulled has been taken away by the Mystery Taxi. Please get out of my home"

by stouffer March 04, 2003