sarcastic's definitions

American cheese

Proof that oil and water DO mix after all.

This nasty-tasting, solidified soy oil is used as a substitute for real cheese, which at least has nutrition and is ACTUALLY digestible.

I made the terrible mistake of buying American cheese (hey, it cost half as much as Cheddar). The next day, I woke up with explosive diarrhea because that shit just went right through my digestive tract.

by sarcastic December 17, 2003

Stupidity

The perpetual trademark of our species. The random and unpredictable state of mind that causes and governs wars, unwanted pregnancies, political actions, divorces, ripoffs, reality TV shows, copycat crimes, cults, self-injury, and lawsuits.
Since the stupid in our midst are breeding uncontrollably while the intelligent minority are dying out, one can easily predict that our stupidity will far outpace our technological progress within a few decades, and propel us back to the Stone Age or extinction with in a few centuries.

You can never go broke by underestimating the stupidity of the human race.

by sarcastic December 13, 2003

tofu

zacrii is right about tofu having more protein and amino acids than meat. However, he forgot to mention that most of those proteins and amino acids are not in a form that humans can digest, since the soy from which tofu is made from is NOT fermented using the millenia-old Asian techniques of processing the beans, which also help neutralize the estrogen-like toxins that soy has. In addition, the soy products are acid washed in aluminum vats, which increases the risk of metal poisoning.

And for those who say that tofu is a meat substitute, remember that tofu does NOT contain Vitamin B-12, a nutrient found naturally in animal products and synthesized for supplement pills using microscopic animals.

Regardless of the bullshit that hippies and vegans spew, there is NOTHING natural about tofu. If you do not believe me, take a good look at the ingredients used to make it, the many processing methods of tofu, and the additives. Most of which are carcinogenic.

by sarcastic June 23, 2003

diversity

Yet another code word for gay rights.

American schools are now forcing students to take courses in Diversity.

by sarcastic June 7, 2003

karaoke

See American Idol.

I didn't know that the ideal American pop star should be a karaoke singer!

by sarcastic July 17, 2003

sewer rat

Ja Rule? A sewer rat? No way! A sewer rat can't be anywhere NEAR that repulsively ugly.

Ja Rule is so ugly he could give a sewer rat nightmares.

by sarcastic May 20, 2003

RIAA

A joke-for-an-organization that can't accept that an MP3 is merely an inferior copy of the actual song, just like a videotape of a show is inferior to being at the show yourself.

The worst mistake the RIAA is making is to piss off the bootleggers and the hackers. The RIAA, instead, should have learned to EMBRACE the new technology before the pirates exploited it first.

by sarcastic May 24, 2003