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See time share time-share.
An elaborate marketing scam designed to make victims purchase property that they don't really need. Typically this scam is used in vacation/resort towns like Williamsburg, Myrtle Beach, Las Vegas, and Orlando. After being lured to the places with offers of "Free Disney Tickets" or "Free Money", victims are made to endure a 90-120 minute sales presentation where they are shown around a series of semi-luxurious condos or apartments, and then persuaded to purchase a property using deceptive and highly-pressurized sales pitches.
An elaborate marketing scam designed to make victims purchase property that they don't really need. Typically this scam is used in vacation/resort towns like Williamsburg, Myrtle Beach, Las Vegas, and Orlando. After being lured to the places with offers of "Free Disney Tickets" or "Free Money", victims are made to endure a 90-120 minute sales presentation where they are shown around a series of semi-luxurious condos or apartments, and then persuaded to purchase a property using deceptive and highly-pressurized sales pitches.
After being shown around a fairly nice-looking apartment complex, the Timeshare salesman and the customer return to the main office to finalize the presentation.
Timeshare Rep: So, did you like the Quazi Glam properties?
Customer: Absolutely! The jacuzzi room was a nice touch, and the ocean view is spectacular.
Timeshare Rep: Now, I need to get my double-digit sales quota today, and I'm running terribly short on time, so let's get down to business. You said you are an Engineer, and you probably make like a shitload of money, so how would you like to purchase an apartment for $2,899 a month for 60 months?
Customer: Those apartments don't look like they cost that much!
Timeshare Rep: Aw come on now, work with me. (scribbles on a paper) Using a hooey mathematical formula I made up while showing you around, you can easily get one paid off in like, 14 months.
Customer: The price still does not justify the quality.
Timeshare Rep: Hmmm. How about I reduce the payment to $2,199 for 54 months. You can even invite your friends and relatives to rent it out and reduce your cost.
Customer: Let me think about it later.
Timeshare Rep: Okay. How about $1,799 for 48 months? I'll even throw in free maintenance and free lunches at the on-site bistro for 3 months.
Customer: I still need more time to consider this.
Timeshare Rep: You're breaking my balls here. $1,499 for 42 months, plus all of the benefits, and free heating?
Customer: Alright, fine. I'll buy an apartment.
Timeshare Rep: Great! Now sign on the dotted line before my 100 minute presentation is up (hands over a document).
Customer: (signng the document) Now what if I change my mind and decide to cancel my payment, do I get refunded?
Timeshare Rep: Um.....no. In fact, by signing up, you are now required to pay $2,899 up front, plus a $7,345 utility instalation fee, $13,500 pet-chauffer service, and a $1,766 asteroid-impact insurance fee.
Customer: Fuck.
Timeshare Rep: Thank you for purchasing a Quazi Glam property. Here's a complementary ticket to Jamal's Flea Market. Have a nice day. Sucker.
Timeshare Rep: So, did you like the Quazi Glam properties?
Customer: Absolutely! The jacuzzi room was a nice touch, and the ocean view is spectacular.
Timeshare Rep: Now, I need to get my double-digit sales quota today, and I'm running terribly short on time, so let's get down to business. You said you are an Engineer, and you probably make like a shitload of money, so how would you like to purchase an apartment for $2,899 a month for 60 months?
Customer: Those apartments don't look like they cost that much!
Timeshare Rep: Aw come on now, work with me. (scribbles on a paper) Using a hooey mathematical formula I made up while showing you around, you can easily get one paid off in like, 14 months.
Customer: The price still does not justify the quality.
Timeshare Rep: Hmmm. How about I reduce the payment to $2,199 for 54 months. You can even invite your friends and relatives to rent it out and reduce your cost.
Customer: Let me think about it later.
Timeshare Rep: Okay. How about $1,799 for 48 months? I'll even throw in free maintenance and free lunches at the on-site bistro for 3 months.
Customer: I still need more time to consider this.
Timeshare Rep: You're breaking my balls here. $1,499 for 42 months, plus all of the benefits, and free heating?
Customer: Alright, fine. I'll buy an apartment.
Timeshare Rep: Great! Now sign on the dotted line before my 100 minute presentation is up (hands over a document).
Customer: (signng the document) Now what if I change my mind and decide to cancel my payment, do I get refunded?
Timeshare Rep: Um.....no. In fact, by signing up, you are now required to pay $2,899 up front, plus a $7,345 utility instalation fee, $13,500 pet-chauffer service, and a $1,766 asteroid-impact insurance fee.
Customer: Fuck.
Timeshare Rep: Thank you for purchasing a Quazi Glam property. Here's a complementary ticket to Jamal's Flea Market. Have a nice day. Sucker.
by sarcastic June 11, 2006
Get the Timeshare mug.It is ironic that the show, which was supposed to be about saving the environment, is actually sponsored by a few corporations which are responsible for some of the world's pollution. It kinda negates the whole purpose of the show.
Oh shit. The wind blew the plastic wrapper of my sandwich from the table to the ground. Captain Planet is surely going to give me a half-hour lecture about reducing, reusing, and recycling.
by sarcastic October 13, 2003
Get the captain planet mug.I still use Windows 98 beta. So far, I haven't seen this blue screen since last year, when I pulled the CD out during installation. Maybe I would have to be a code-writer or delete system files in order to see it.
by sarcastic October 20, 2003
Get the Windows mug.The reason why it tastes like shit is because the candy that's left over is recycled for next Halloween. Hell, they even take the uneaten candy corn from the trash and wipe off the spit and crap.
I tried the candy corn at the party, and I puked up blood because it had expired to the point where the bacteria on it evolved into flesh-eating pathogens.
by sarcastic November 3, 2003
Get the candy corn mug.This is the most idiotic ranting I have ever seen on this site. Somebody please beat some sense into Sonyroolz. Then again, just beat the crap out of him.
I can't believe this brain-dead fanboy just called the greatest 16-bit console of all time a "Super Turd". I'll bet he has never even owned or at least rented a Super Nintendo in his life.
by sarcastic November 25, 2003
Get the super turd mug.Modern Definition: An American tradition where people gorge on turkey until they puke and visit their relatives to eat even more turkey. Usually the stores start to get flooded with Christmas shoppers at this time.
Real meaning: Originally celebrated by the Pilgrims (early north-American settlers) as a remembrance of the time when they took full advantage of the local Native American tribes' knowledge of the land, invited them all over to a feast, slaughtered them all the next day, settled on their land, and looked westward to the vast, unconquered land that lay ahead of them.
Real meaning: Originally celebrated by the Pilgrims (early north-American settlers) as a remembrance of the time when they took full advantage of the local Native American tribes' knowledge of the land, invited them all over to a feast, slaughtered them all the next day, settled on their land, and looked westward to the vast, unconquered land that lay ahead of them.
by sarcastic November 26, 2003
Get the Thanksgiving mug.A proud descendent of the first group of humans to settle in the Americas. According to recent archaelogical findings, they migrated from Asia via glacier bridges and sea travel more than 12,000 years ago and within a short time, they branched off into thousands of unique cultures. Sadly, the North American natives were nearly exterminated by greedy and gold-thirsty European settlers who tricked them through the use of treaties, butchered entire cultures in the name of God, raped their women, stole their land, and infected them with smallpox, syphillis, and other deadly diseases. Today, what's left of the North American natives are now either drinking themselves to death on the reservations, or getting their sweet revenge by building casinos.
Although the South American natives were luckier than those of the north, they were mostly converted to Catholicism, forced to speak Spanish, and what little earnings they make are sent to the modern Roman capital known as the Vatican.
Although the South American natives were luckier than those of the north, they were mostly converted to Catholicism, forced to speak Spanish, and what little earnings they make are sent to the modern Roman capital known as the Vatican.
Today, the descendents of the European settlers add insult to injury by honoring a holiday called Thanksgiving, which basically celebrates how their ancestors ass-raped and culled back the once widespread Native American population.
by sarcastic November 27, 2003
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