sarcastic's definitions
I went over there last week, and while I was ordering my food, I saw one of the drivers leave the restroom and wash his hands IN THE DISHWATER, even though the sink was right next to the bathroom door. God, that was disgusting! Makes you want to think twice, or thrice, before ordering out, because the utensils used to cut the pizzas may have also been washed in that same water.
Or maybe I was just unfortunate enough to go to a Pizza Hut restaurant which didn't have a wall that blocks the customer's view of the back of the store, but still, that worker should have known better.
by sarcastic January 26, 2004
Get the Pizza Hutmug. See time share time-share.
An elaborate marketing scam designed to make victims purchase property that they don't really need. Typically this scam is used in vacation/resort towns like Williamsburg, Myrtle Beach, Las Vegas, and Orlando. After being lured to the places with offers of "Free Disney Tickets" or "Free Money", victims are made to endure a 90-120 minute sales presentation where they are shown around a series of semi-luxurious condos or apartments, and then persuaded to purchase a property using deceptive and highly-pressurized sales pitches.
An elaborate marketing scam designed to make victims purchase property that they don't really need. Typically this scam is used in vacation/resort towns like Williamsburg, Myrtle Beach, Las Vegas, and Orlando. After being lured to the places with offers of "Free Disney Tickets" or "Free Money", victims are made to endure a 90-120 minute sales presentation where they are shown around a series of semi-luxurious condos or apartments, and then persuaded to purchase a property using deceptive and highly-pressurized sales pitches.
After being shown around a fairly nice-looking apartment complex, the Timeshare salesman and the customer return to the main office to finalize the presentation.
Timeshare Rep: So, did you like the Quazi Glam properties?
Customer: Absolutely! The jacuzzi room was a nice touch, and the ocean view is spectacular.
Timeshare Rep: Now, I need to get my double-digit sales quota today, and I'm running terribly short on time, so let's get down to business. You said you are an Engineer, and you probably make like a shitload of money, so how would you like to purchase an apartment for $2,899 a month for 60 months?
Customer: Those apartments don't look like they cost that much!
Timeshare Rep: Aw come on now, work with me. (scribbles on a paper) Using a hooey mathematical formula I made up while showing you around, you can easily get one paid off in like, 14 months.
Customer: The price still does not justify the quality.
Timeshare Rep: Hmmm. How about I reduce the payment to $2,199 for 54 months. You can even invite your friends and relatives to rent it out and reduce your cost.
Customer: Let me think about it later.
Timeshare Rep: Okay. How about $1,799 for 48 months? I'll even throw in free maintenance and free lunches at the on-site bistro for 3 months.
Customer: I still need more time to consider this.
Timeshare Rep: You're breaking my balls here. $1,499 for 42 months, plus all of the benefits, and free heating?
Customer: Alright, fine. I'll buy an apartment.
Timeshare Rep: Great! Now sign on the dotted line before my 100 minute presentation is up (hands over a document).
Customer: (signng the document) Now what if I change my mind and decide to cancel my payment, do I get refunded?
Timeshare Rep: Um.....no. In fact, by signing up, you are now required to pay $2,899 up front, plus a $7,345 utility instalation fee, $13,500 pet-chauffer service, and a $1,766 asteroid-impact insurance fee.
Customer: Fuck.
Timeshare Rep: Thank you for purchasing a Quazi Glam property. Here's a complementary ticket to Jamal's Flea Market. Have a nice day. Sucker.
Timeshare Rep: So, did you like the Quazi Glam properties?
Customer: Absolutely! The jacuzzi room was a nice touch, and the ocean view is spectacular.
Timeshare Rep: Now, I need to get my double-digit sales quota today, and I'm running terribly short on time, so let's get down to business. You said you are an Engineer, and you probably make like a shitload of money, so how would you like to purchase an apartment for $2,899 a month for 60 months?
Customer: Those apartments don't look like they cost that much!
Timeshare Rep: Aw come on now, work with me. (scribbles on a paper) Using a hooey mathematical formula I made up while showing you around, you can easily get one paid off in like, 14 months.
Customer: The price still does not justify the quality.
Timeshare Rep: Hmmm. How about I reduce the payment to $2,199 for 54 months. You can even invite your friends and relatives to rent it out and reduce your cost.
Customer: Let me think about it later.
Timeshare Rep: Okay. How about $1,799 for 48 months? I'll even throw in free maintenance and free lunches at the on-site bistro for 3 months.
Customer: I still need more time to consider this.
Timeshare Rep: You're breaking my balls here. $1,499 for 42 months, plus all of the benefits, and free heating?
Customer: Alright, fine. I'll buy an apartment.
Timeshare Rep: Great! Now sign on the dotted line before my 100 minute presentation is up (hands over a document).
Customer: (signng the document) Now what if I change my mind and decide to cancel my payment, do I get refunded?
Timeshare Rep: Um.....no. In fact, by signing up, you are now required to pay $2,899 up front, plus a $7,345 utility instalation fee, $13,500 pet-chauffer service, and a $1,766 asteroid-impact insurance fee.
Customer: Fuck.
Timeshare Rep: Thank you for purchasing a Quazi Glam property. Here's a complementary ticket to Jamal's Flea Market. Have a nice day. Sucker.
by sarcastic June 11, 2006
Get the Timesharemug. All Hallow's Eve, the evening of October 31st.
Halloween was Christianity`s failed attempt at eradicating paganism in the 9th Century.
Originally, the pagans dedicated the period of late October to early November as a time for honoring their ancestors. Then along came the Christians, who declared November 1st to be All Saints Day and forced the pagans to honor that day instead. The pagans simply celebrated their ancient traditions in secret on the evening before November 1st.
When the Medieval Era ended, and the age of Protestantism began, the pagan tradition was celebrated more openly, eventually becoming an evening holiday in the Western Hemisphere.
Halloween was Christianity`s failed attempt at eradicating paganism in the 9th Century.
Originally, the pagans dedicated the period of late October to early November as a time for honoring their ancestors. Then along came the Christians, who declared November 1st to be All Saints Day and forced the pagans to honor that day instead. The pagans simply celebrated their ancient traditions in secret on the evening before November 1st.
When the Medieval Era ended, and the age of Protestantism began, the pagan tradition was celebrated more openly, eventually becoming an evening holiday in the Western Hemisphere.
During Halloween, the children, dressed up in their favorite costumes, go door-to-door throughout the neighborhood, asking for candy or snacks.
by sarcastic November 16, 2004
Get the Halloweenmug. by sarcastic September 1, 2003
Get the life insurancemug. A joke-for-an-organization that can't accept that an MP3 is merely an inferior copy of the actual song, just like a videotape of a show is inferior to being at the show yourself.
The worst mistake the RIAA is making is to piss off the bootleggers and the hackers. The RIAA, instead, should have learned to EMBRACE the new technology before the pirates exploited it first.
by sarcastic May 24, 2003
Get the RIAAmug. A hypocritical organization that will never be successful in the Arctic regions, Siberia, New Zealand, the desert regions of Australia, Muslim-dominated countries, China, Scotland, Iceland, and the developing nations of Africa, Asia, Central America, or South America.
Also notice that the People of Ethical Treatment of Animals seem to favor the cute, cuddly-wuddly, furry animals. What about the insects and arachnids? What about the fish, mollusks, and crustaceans? What about the bacteria? What about the reptiles? What about humans? Don't they all have rights too? Would it be animal cruelty if one washes with antibacterial soap?
The PETA is also actively funding a dog-genocide campaign in which any canine suspected to belong to the Pittbull variety (a loveable, family-friendly, loyal dog that is safe with children IF TRAINED PROPERLY) is immediately taken from the owner and killed. Doesn't matter if the dog is half-Pittbull, 1/32 Pittbull, or looks like a Pittbull, the poor pooch will be marked for death.
Ethical Treatment my ass.
Also notice that the People of Ethical Treatment of Animals seem to favor the cute, cuddly-wuddly, furry animals. What about the insects and arachnids? What about the fish, mollusks, and crustaceans? What about the bacteria? What about the reptiles? What about humans? Don't they all have rights too? Would it be animal cruelty if one washes with antibacterial soap?
The PETA is also actively funding a dog-genocide campaign in which any canine suspected to belong to the Pittbull variety (a loveable, family-friendly, loyal dog that is safe with children IF TRAINED PROPERLY) is immediately taken from the owner and killed. Doesn't matter if the dog is half-Pittbull, 1/32 Pittbull, or looks like a Pittbull, the poor pooch will be marked for death.
Ethical Treatment my ass.
The campaigns of the PETA organization will fail miserably in the developing nations of Africa, Asia, and South America because the people there, who for centuries have traditionally used animals as a primary mode of transportation, source of food, and method for planting/ploughing/harvesting crops, cannot afford to let their livestock roam free.
For every time the PETA pisses off humanity, I celebrate by barbecuing a steak or ribs.
For every time the PETA pisses off humanity, I celebrate by barbecuing a steak or ribs.
by sarcastic June 15, 2004
Get the PETAmug. by sarcastic July 17, 2003
Get the karaokemug.