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See time share time-share.
An elaborate marketing scam designed to make victims purchase property that they don't really need. Typically this scam is used in vacation/resort towns like Williamsburg, Myrtle Beach, Las Vegas, and Orlando. After being lured to the places with offers of "Free Disney Tickets" or "Free Money", victims are made to endure a 90-120 minute sales presentation where they are shown around a series of semi-luxurious condos or apartments, and then persuaded to purchase a property using deceptive and highly-pressurized sales pitches.
An elaborate marketing scam designed to make victims purchase property that they don't really need. Typically this scam is used in vacation/resort towns like Williamsburg, Myrtle Beach, Las Vegas, and Orlando. After being lured to the places with offers of "Free Disney Tickets" or "Free Money", victims are made to endure a 90-120 minute sales presentation where they are shown around a series of semi-luxurious condos or apartments, and then persuaded to purchase a property using deceptive and highly-pressurized sales pitches.
After being shown around a fairly nice-looking apartment complex, the Timeshare salesman and the customer return to the main office to finalize the presentation.
Timeshare Rep: So, did you like the Quazi Glam properties?
Customer: Absolutely! The jacuzzi room was a nice touch, and the ocean view is spectacular.
Timeshare Rep: Now, I need to get my double-digit sales quota today, and I'm running terribly short on time, so let's get down to business. You said you are an Engineer, and you probably make like a shitload of money, so how would you like to purchase an apartment for $2,899 a month for 60 months?
Customer: Those apartments don't look like they cost that much!
Timeshare Rep: Aw come on now, work with me. (scribbles on a paper) Using a hooey mathematical formula I made up while showing you around, you can easily get one paid off in like, 14 months.
Customer: The price still does not justify the quality.
Timeshare Rep: Hmmm. How about I reduce the payment to $2,199 for 54 months. You can even invite your friends and relatives to rent it out and reduce your cost.
Customer: Let me think about it later.
Timeshare Rep: Okay. How about $1,799 for 48 months? I'll even throw in free maintenance and free lunches at the on-site bistro for 3 months.
Customer: I still need more time to consider this.
Timeshare Rep: You're breaking my balls here. $1,499 for 42 months, plus all of the benefits, and free heating?
Customer: Alright, fine. I'll buy an apartment.
Timeshare Rep: Great! Now sign on the dotted line before my 100 minute presentation is up (hands over a document).
Customer: (signng the document) Now what if I change my mind and decide to cancel my payment, do I get refunded?
Timeshare Rep: Um.....no. In fact, by signing up, you are now required to pay $2,899 up front, plus a $7,345 utility instalation fee, $13,500 pet-chauffer service, and a $1,766 asteroid-impact insurance fee.
Customer: Fuck.
Timeshare Rep: Thank you for purchasing a Quazi Glam property. Here's a complementary ticket to Jamal's Flea Market. Have a nice day. Sucker.
Timeshare Rep: So, did you like the Quazi Glam properties?
Customer: Absolutely! The jacuzzi room was a nice touch, and the ocean view is spectacular.
Timeshare Rep: Now, I need to get my double-digit sales quota today, and I'm running terribly short on time, so let's get down to business. You said you are an Engineer, and you probably make like a shitload of money, so how would you like to purchase an apartment for $2,899 a month for 60 months?
Customer: Those apartments don't look like they cost that much!
Timeshare Rep: Aw come on now, work with me. (scribbles on a paper) Using a hooey mathematical formula I made up while showing you around, you can easily get one paid off in like, 14 months.
Customer: The price still does not justify the quality.
Timeshare Rep: Hmmm. How about I reduce the payment to $2,199 for 54 months. You can even invite your friends and relatives to rent it out and reduce your cost.
Customer: Let me think about it later.
Timeshare Rep: Okay. How about $1,799 for 48 months? I'll even throw in free maintenance and free lunches at the on-site bistro for 3 months.
Customer: I still need more time to consider this.
Timeshare Rep: You're breaking my balls here. $1,499 for 42 months, plus all of the benefits, and free heating?
Customer: Alright, fine. I'll buy an apartment.
Timeshare Rep: Great! Now sign on the dotted line before my 100 minute presentation is up (hands over a document).
Customer: (signng the document) Now what if I change my mind and decide to cancel my payment, do I get refunded?
Timeshare Rep: Um.....no. In fact, by signing up, you are now required to pay $2,899 up front, plus a $7,345 utility instalation fee, $13,500 pet-chauffer service, and a $1,766 asteroid-impact insurance fee.
Customer: Fuck.
Timeshare Rep: Thank you for purchasing a Quazi Glam property. Here's a complementary ticket to Jamal's Flea Market. Have a nice day. Sucker.
by sarcastic June 11, 2006
Get the Timeshare mug.All Hallow's Eve, the evening of October 31st.
Halloween was Christianity`s failed attempt at eradicating paganism in the 9th Century.
Originally, the pagans dedicated the period of late October to early November as a time for honoring their ancestors. Then along came the Christians, who declared November 1st to be All Saints Day and forced the pagans to honor that day instead. The pagans simply celebrated their ancient traditions in secret on the evening before November 1st.
When the Medieval Era ended, and the age of Protestantism began, the pagan tradition was celebrated more openly, eventually becoming an evening holiday in the Western Hemisphere.
Halloween was Christianity`s failed attempt at eradicating paganism in the 9th Century.
Originally, the pagans dedicated the period of late October to early November as a time for honoring their ancestors. Then along came the Christians, who declared November 1st to be All Saints Day and forced the pagans to honor that day instead. The pagans simply celebrated their ancient traditions in secret on the evening before November 1st.
When the Medieval Era ended, and the age of Protestantism began, the pagan tradition was celebrated more openly, eventually becoming an evening holiday in the Western Hemisphere.
During Halloween, the children, dressed up in their favorite costumes, go door-to-door throughout the neighborhood, asking for candy or snacks.
by sarcastic November 16, 2004
Get the Halloween mug.While the service does suck dogshit, and is incredibly slow at times, and is full of glitches, the REAL fun comes when you are cancelling your membership, because the representatives will do anything to keep you using the AOL service, and they don't seem to understand the word "NO".
Joe: I would like to cancel my AOL membership.
AOL Rep: Why?
Joe: I have found AOL to be expensive for my budget and I am switching to a cheaper alternative instead.
AOL Rep: $28 a month is not expesive!
Joe: It is when you are a college student, and if NetZero and Juno are offering the same Internet package for $15 a month.
AOL Rep: Alright. How about we just sign you to our Netscape plan for $19.99?
Joe: No thank you.
AOL Rep: Um....how about you tell us exactly how long you will not be using AOL?
Joe: Not ever again.
AOL Rep: You know, you are ruining my chance to get another pay bonus.
Joe: And I could care less. Please just cancel my account already.
AOL Rep: Shit! he's not as gullible as we thought.....did I just say that out loud?
Joe: Yup.
AOL Rep: Why?
Joe: I have found AOL to be expensive for my budget and I am switching to a cheaper alternative instead.
AOL Rep: $28 a month is not expesive!
Joe: It is when you are a college student, and if NetZero and Juno are offering the same Internet package for $15 a month.
AOL Rep: Alright. How about we just sign you to our Netscape plan for $19.99?
Joe: No thank you.
AOL Rep: Um....how about you tell us exactly how long you will not be using AOL?
Joe: Not ever again.
AOL Rep: You know, you are ruining my chance to get another pay bonus.
Joe: And I could care less. Please just cancel my account already.
AOL Rep: Shit! he's not as gullible as we thought.....did I just say that out loud?
Joe: Yup.
by sarcastic August 21, 2004
Get the AOL mug.A word derived from the ancient Greek word "anthropos", which means HUMAN, having HUMAN characteristics, or relating to HUMAN.
It does NOT relate to lower-order animals.
It does NOT relate to lower-order animals.
Now how is it that these deluded furry fanatics use the word anthro to relate to talking animals? Haven't they ever taken Anthropology, or checked the fucking dictionary for the definition of anthro?
by sarcastic July 12, 2004
Get the anthro mug.Producer of some of the best techno/electronica music I have ever heard. This guy apparently tries to make the music as non-repetitive as possible, which is a rarity for the techno music genre.
A couple of Orbital's songs were used in the original Mortal Kombat movie, which is still the only videogame-based movie that is actually good.
by sarcastic July 10, 2004
Get the Orbital mug.One of the worst and most overhyped movies ever made, aside from Gigli. supposedly it is based on a real-life story of a runaway slave, but the only true parts of the movie were scenes where she escaped from her master and the scene where she killed her child in order to evade recapture. The movie features disturbing content such as fat Oprah urinating, a reincarnated teenage ghost of a female child having sex with an old man, a dog with its eyes out of its sockets, and two white boys drinking milk from Oprah's breasts.
I can't believe I went all the way to the theater and paid $8.00 to watch that shit!
I can't believe I went all the way to the theater and paid $8.00 to watch that shit!
Even the black American community, which was the target audience, hates Oprah Winfrey's 'Beloved' movie.
by sarcastic June 20, 2004
Get the Beloved mug.This pyramid scheme/Multi-Level Marketing cult is also known as Quickstar or Quixtar.
This cult reaps huge profits from making expensive motivational videoes/tapes and numerous seminars which basically try to convince you to purchase even more motivational videoes/tapes. To even make a profit from selling their ridiculously EXPENSIVE product line, you have to already have a shitload of money, preferrably in the hundred$ of thou$and$, which is why they have celebrities and sports-stars promoting their crap.
This cult reaps huge profits from making expensive motivational videoes/tapes and numerous seminars which basically try to convince you to purchase even more motivational videoes/tapes. To even make a profit from selling their ridiculously EXPENSIVE product line, you have to already have a shitload of money, preferrably in the hundred$ of thou$and$, which is why they have celebrities and sports-stars promoting their crap.
I made the terrible mistake of attending an Amway/Quickstar seminar last week. 146 minutes of my life wasted listening to a bunch of rich white people preaching religious sermons about how their products will "change your life" if you purchase their motivational crap in order to become even more interested in their cult and their pricey products.
by sarcastic June 20, 2004
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