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See time share time-share.
An elaborate marketing scam designed to make victims purchase property that they don't really need. Typically this scam is used in vacation/resort towns like Williamsburg, Myrtle Beach, Las Vegas, and Orlando. After being lured to the places with offers of "Free Disney Tickets" or "Free Money", victims are made to endure a 90-120 minute sales presentation where they are shown around a series of semi-luxurious condos or apartments, and then persuaded to purchase a property using deceptive and highly-pressurized sales pitches.
An elaborate marketing scam designed to make victims purchase property that they don't really need. Typically this scam is used in vacation/resort towns like Williamsburg, Myrtle Beach, Las Vegas, and Orlando. After being lured to the places with offers of "Free Disney Tickets" or "Free Money", victims are made to endure a 90-120 minute sales presentation where they are shown around a series of semi-luxurious condos or apartments, and then persuaded to purchase a property using deceptive and highly-pressurized sales pitches.
After being shown around a fairly nice-looking apartment complex, the Timeshare salesman and the customer return to the main office to finalize the presentation.
Timeshare Rep: So, did you like the Quazi Glam properties?
Customer: Absolutely! The jacuzzi room was a nice touch, and the ocean view is spectacular.
Timeshare Rep: Now, I need to get my double-digit sales quota today, and I'm running terribly short on time, so let's get down to business. You said you are an Engineer, and you probably make like a shitload of money, so how would you like to purchase an apartment for $2,899 a month for 60 months?
Customer: Those apartments don't look like they cost that much!
Timeshare Rep: Aw come on now, work with me. (scribbles on a paper) Using a hooey mathematical formula I made up while showing you around, you can easily get one paid off in like, 14 months.
Customer: The price still does not justify the quality.
Timeshare Rep: Hmmm. How about I reduce the payment to $2,199 for 54 months. You can even invite your friends and relatives to rent it out and reduce your cost.
Customer: Let me think about it later.
Timeshare Rep: Okay. How about $1,799 for 48 months? I'll even throw in free maintenance and free lunches at the on-site bistro for 3 months.
Customer: I still need more time to consider this.
Timeshare Rep: You're breaking my balls here. $1,499 for 42 months, plus all of the benefits, and free heating?
Customer: Alright, fine. I'll buy an apartment.
Timeshare Rep: Great! Now sign on the dotted line before my 100 minute presentation is up (hands over a document).
Customer: (signng the document) Now what if I change my mind and decide to cancel my payment, do I get refunded?
Timeshare Rep: Um.....no. In fact, by signing up, you are now required to pay $2,899 up front, plus a $7,345 utility instalation fee, $13,500 pet-chauffer service, and a $1,766 asteroid-impact insurance fee.
Customer: Fuck.
Timeshare Rep: Thank you for purchasing a Quazi Glam property. Here's a complementary ticket to Jamal's Flea Market. Have a nice day. Sucker.
Timeshare Rep: So, did you like the Quazi Glam properties?
Customer: Absolutely! The jacuzzi room was a nice touch, and the ocean view is spectacular.
Timeshare Rep: Now, I need to get my double-digit sales quota today, and I'm running terribly short on time, so let's get down to business. You said you are an Engineer, and you probably make like a shitload of money, so how would you like to purchase an apartment for $2,899 a month for 60 months?
Customer: Those apartments don't look like they cost that much!
Timeshare Rep: Aw come on now, work with me. (scribbles on a paper) Using a hooey mathematical formula I made up while showing you around, you can easily get one paid off in like, 14 months.
Customer: The price still does not justify the quality.
Timeshare Rep: Hmmm. How about I reduce the payment to $2,199 for 54 months. You can even invite your friends and relatives to rent it out and reduce your cost.
Customer: Let me think about it later.
Timeshare Rep: Okay. How about $1,799 for 48 months? I'll even throw in free maintenance and free lunches at the on-site bistro for 3 months.
Customer: I still need more time to consider this.
Timeshare Rep: You're breaking my balls here. $1,499 for 42 months, plus all of the benefits, and free heating?
Customer: Alright, fine. I'll buy an apartment.
Timeshare Rep: Great! Now sign on the dotted line before my 100 minute presentation is up (hands over a document).
Customer: (signng the document) Now what if I change my mind and decide to cancel my payment, do I get refunded?
Timeshare Rep: Um.....no. In fact, by signing up, you are now required to pay $2,899 up front, plus a $7,345 utility instalation fee, $13,500 pet-chauffer service, and a $1,766 asteroid-impact insurance fee.
Customer: Fuck.
Timeshare Rep: Thank you for purchasing a Quazi Glam property. Here's a complementary ticket to Jamal's Flea Market. Have a nice day. Sucker.
by sarcastic June 11, 2006
Get the Timeshare mug.Producer of some of the best techno/electronica music I have ever heard. This guy apparently tries to make the music as non-repetitive as possible, which is a rarity for the techno music genre.
A couple of Orbital's songs were used in the original Mortal Kombat movie, which is still the only videogame-based movie that is actually good.
by sarcastic July 10, 2004
Get the Orbital mug.A word derived from the ancient Greek word "anthropos", which means HUMAN, having HUMAN characteristics, or relating to HUMAN.
It does NOT relate to lower-order animals.
It does NOT relate to lower-order animals.
Now how is it that these deluded furry fanatics use the word anthro to relate to talking animals? Haven't they ever taken Anthropology, or checked the fucking dictionary for the definition of anthro?
by sarcastic July 12, 2004
Get the anthro mug.While the service does suck dogshit, and is incredibly slow at times, and is full of glitches, the REAL fun comes when you are cancelling your membership, because the representatives will do anything to keep you using the AOL service, and they don't seem to understand the word "NO".
Joe: I would like to cancel my AOL membership.
AOL Rep: Why?
Joe: I have found AOL to be expensive for my budget and I am switching to a cheaper alternative instead.
AOL Rep: $28 a month is not expesive!
Joe: It is when you are a college student, and if NetZero and Juno are offering the same Internet package for $15 a month.
AOL Rep: Alright. How about we just sign you to our Netscape plan for $19.99?
Joe: No thank you.
AOL Rep: Um....how about you tell us exactly how long you will not be using AOL?
Joe: Not ever again.
AOL Rep: You know, you are ruining my chance to get another pay bonus.
Joe: And I could care less. Please just cancel my account already.
AOL Rep: Shit! he's not as gullible as we thought.....did I just say that out loud?
Joe: Yup.
AOL Rep: Why?
Joe: I have found AOL to be expensive for my budget and I am switching to a cheaper alternative instead.
AOL Rep: $28 a month is not expesive!
Joe: It is when you are a college student, and if NetZero and Juno are offering the same Internet package for $15 a month.
AOL Rep: Alright. How about we just sign you to our Netscape plan for $19.99?
Joe: No thank you.
AOL Rep: Um....how about you tell us exactly how long you will not be using AOL?
Joe: Not ever again.
AOL Rep: You know, you are ruining my chance to get another pay bonus.
Joe: And I could care less. Please just cancel my account already.
AOL Rep: Shit! he's not as gullible as we thought.....did I just say that out loud?
Joe: Yup.
by sarcastic August 21, 2004
Get the AOL mug.The car looks like a fucking hearse. When I first saw someone in my town driving this ugly vehicle, I thought he was going to a funeral.
I can buy an old hearse from a car auction, add two extra seats in the back, give it a new paint job, put in a new engine, and it would look EXACTLY like the Toyota Scion, but half the price.
by sarcastic May 19, 2004
Get the Scion mug.Prenuptial agreement.
Theoretically it is a contract signed by both a man and a woman before marriage, and helps with splitting the property between both parties in the event of a divorce.
A temporary and useless piece of paper that expires after a short time and can be voidable at any time by the woman, thanks to the fact that the legal system is now in her control.
Theoretically it is a contract signed by both a man and a woman before marriage, and helps with splitting the property between both parties in the event of a divorce.
A temporary and useless piece of paper that expires after a short time and can be voidable at any time by the woman, thanks to the fact that the legal system is now in her control.
Joe watched in horror as his ex-wife Suzy tore up the pre-nup document in the courtroom and the judge ordered him to hand over his house and life-savings to her.
by sarcastic May 29, 2004
Get the pre-nup mug.A shoddy attempt at humor crafted by the Linux community in order to answer back at those who even mildly criticize their half-finished kernel or the "newbies" who are trying to seek help in getting Linux to function properly on their machines. Makes one look stupid when said out loud in a group of people.
Newbie: Can you please help me configure my soundcard and modem? I read the manual, and followed the instructions, but both piece of hardware still refuse to work.
Linux elitist: Go away or I will replace you with a simple shell script, retard.
Newbie: All I did was ask for help, and if this is how you treat those who want to learn about Linux, then you shouldn't be surprised if people go back to using Windows or Mac OS-X.
Linux elitist: Well go back to crashing your Windoze, troll.
Linux elitist: Go away or I will replace you with a simple shell script, retard.
Newbie: All I did was ask for help, and if this is how you treat those who want to learn about Linux, then you shouldn't be surprised if people go back to using Windows or Mac OS-X.
Linux elitist: Well go back to crashing your Windoze, troll.
by sarcastic May 29, 2004
Get the go away or I will replace you with a simple shell script mug.