quan cao tien's definitions
Q: Who decides that a person is important enough to use the V.I.P. lounge at Heathrow airport and what are the criteria?
A: Nope, V.I.P. stands for “Very Impolite Person”.
A: Nope, V.I.P. stands for “Very Impolite Person”.
by quan cao tien July 5, 2010
Get the V.I.P. mug.I WLTM if teh following MARRIAGE TERMS AND CONDITIONS are met:
• Please if U see me upset as one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say 'get over it, its only a game', or 'don't worry, they'll win next time'. If U say these things, U will only make me angrier and I’ll luv U less. Remember, U will nave ever kno more about fitba than me and your so called 'words of encouragement' will only lead to a break up or divorce. It’d be a good idea for U to keep at least 2 six packs in teh fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please don’t make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch teh games. In return, U will be allowed to use teh TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game dat I missed during teh day.
• Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings dat requires my attendance because:
I won’t go…However, if my pals invite us to their house on a Sun to watch a game, we’ll be there in a flash.
• If U have to pass by in front of teh TV during a game, for an important reason such as preparing snacks or getting in teh beers, I don't mind, as long as U crawl along teh floor.
• During teh games I’ll be blinkered to match. U can’t expect me to listen to U, it will nave happen.
• And finally, please save yr expressions such as: 'Thank God teh fitba season’s only every 4 years'. I’m immune to these words, b’coz after this comes teh Champions League, Premier League...
• Please if U see me upset as one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say 'get over it, its only a game', or 'don't worry, they'll win next time'. If U say these things, U will only make me angrier and I’ll luv U less. Remember, U will nave ever kno more about fitba than me and your so called 'words of encouragement' will only lead to a break up or divorce. It’d be a good idea for U to keep at least 2 six packs in teh fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please don’t make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch teh games. In return, U will be allowed to use teh TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game dat I missed during teh day.
• Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings dat requires my attendance because:
I won’t go…However, if my pals invite us to their house on a Sun to watch a game, we’ll be there in a flash.
• If U have to pass by in front of teh TV during a game, for an important reason such as preparing snacks or getting in teh beers, I don't mind, as long as U crawl along teh floor.
• During teh games I’ll be blinkered to match. U can’t expect me to listen to U, it will nave happen.
• And finally, please save yr expressions such as: 'Thank God teh fitba season’s only every 4 years'. I’m immune to these words, b’coz after this comes teh Champions League, Premier League...
by quan cao tien August 9, 2010
Get the WLTM mug.The Cuckoo Clock
At about 3AM, I was drunk as a skunk because there was a lot of voddy. So, with a certain time limit, I did down it. I came home just in time to hear the cuckoo clock cuckoo three times. Quickly coming up with a plan, I cuckooed nine more times, hoping my wife would think it was midnight. I was very proud of myself.
The next day, my wife asked what time I got home, and I replied, "Midnight, just like I said."
She said that was good, and for some reason she said we needed a new cuckoo clock. When I asked why, she answered, "Last night when it cuckooed midnight, it cuckooed three times, said 'S%!t!,' cuckooed four more times, farted, cuckooed three times, cleared its throat, cuckooed two more times and then started giggling.
At about 3AM, I was drunk as a skunk because there was a lot of voddy. So, with a certain time limit, I did down it. I came home just in time to hear the cuckoo clock cuckoo three times. Quickly coming up with a plan, I cuckooed nine more times, hoping my wife would think it was midnight. I was very proud of myself.
The next day, my wife asked what time I got home, and I replied, "Midnight, just like I said."
She said that was good, and for some reason she said we needed a new cuckoo clock. When I asked why, she answered, "Last night when it cuckooed midnight, it cuckooed three times, said 'S%!t!,' cuckooed four more times, farted, cuckooed three times, cleared its throat, cuckooed two more times and then started giggling.
by quan cao tien August 19, 2010
Get the down it mug.What a shit stirrer! She’s gone and told my trouble and strife that I was with another chick at the party.
by quan cao tien August 26, 2010
Get the Shit stirrer mug.*Interviewer: Pls let me know what keeps you happy?!!!
*Interviewee: Well, It is great to meet chicks who are as good as gold. To some extent, I highly appreciate my spouses' heart of gold because they have been living with me for years and bore me 13 sons and girls so far. As a result, I’ve been working very hard to support them all since I was 18 and however, they always play a key role in encouraging me to overcome such difficulties. Their care is a main source of my pride. this is worth my spouses' gold for me.
*Interviewer: Keep your fingers crossed for dat, sir!
*Interviewee: Well, It is great to meet chicks who are as good as gold. To some extent, I highly appreciate my spouses' heart of gold because they have been living with me for years and bore me 13 sons and girls so far. As a result, I’ve been working very hard to support them all since I was 18 and however, they always play a key role in encouraging me to overcome such difficulties. Their care is a main source of my pride. this is worth my spouses' gold for me.
*Interviewer: Keep your fingers crossed for dat, sir!
by quan cao tien August 6, 2010
Get the 18 mug.Main Battle Area.
Major Bad Ass.
Major Bonehead Association.
Make Business Adventurous.
Malir Bar Association.
Managed Boot Agent.
Management Boot Agent.
Management By Accident.
Manager By Accident.
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Married But Available.
Massive Bank Account.
Master of Barely Anything.
Mastering Business Advancement.
Masters of Business Administration.
Matter Billing Attorney.
Me Before Anyone.
Mean Binary Accuracy.
Meaningless Bureaucratic Aptitude.
Mediocre Bastard Alert.
Mediocre But Arrogant.
Mentally Below Average.
Message Board Arrogance.
Microsoft Business Associate.
Mighty Big Attitude.
Mind Body Attitude.
Mind Business Alert.
Mind, Body, and Attitude.
Miracles Being Achieved.
Mississauga Baseball Association.
Modeling By Auspig.
Modular Business Addon.
Mom's Bouquets Again.
Money Business And Accounting.
Montgomery Bell Academy.
Mop Bucket Attitude.
More Bad Advice.
More Bass Ale.
More Bewilderment Always.
More Bucks Annually.
Moronic But Aggrandizing.
Morse Baudot Ascii.
Mortgage Bankers Association.
Most Blind Again.
Most Bodacious Achiever.
Much Buggering About.
Murderer of Brand Assets.
Must Bust Ass.
Must Buy and Acquire.
Mutually Beneficial Arrangement.
The Mindlessness of Business Administration.
Major Bad Ass.
Major Bonehead Association.
Make Business Adventurous.
Malir Bar Association.
Managed Boot Agent.
Management Boot Agent.
Management By Accident.
Manager By Accident.
Marketing Brain Aboard.
Married But Available.
Massive Bank Account.
Master of Barely Anything.
Mastering Business Advancement.
Masters of Business Administration.
Matter Billing Attorney.
Me Before Anyone.
Mean Binary Accuracy.
Meaningless Bureaucratic Aptitude.
Mediocre Bastard Alert.
Mediocre But Arrogant.
Mentally Below Average.
Message Board Arrogance.
Microsoft Business Associate.
Mighty Big Attitude.
Mind Body Attitude.
Mind Business Alert.
Mind, Body, and Attitude.
Miracles Being Achieved.
Mississauga Baseball Association.
Modeling By Auspig.
Modular Business Addon.
Mom's Bouquets Again.
Money Business And Accounting.
Montgomery Bell Academy.
Mop Bucket Attitude.
More Bad Advice.
More Bass Ale.
More Bewilderment Always.
More Bucks Annually.
Moronic But Aggrandizing.
Morse Baudot Ascii.
Mortgage Bankers Association.
Most Blind Again.
Most Bodacious Achiever.
Much Buggering About.
Murderer of Brand Assets.
Must Bust Ass.
Must Buy and Acquire.
Mutually Beneficial Arrangement.
The Mindlessness of Business Administration.
*Professor: Hey, how is your test result in Accounting?
*Student: Well, I was rated highly for MBA (Mentally Below Average) :(
*Professor: Here we go again!
*Student: Well, I was rated highly for MBA (Mentally Below Average) :(
*Professor: Here we go again!
by quan cao tien August 7, 2010
Get the MBA mug.Dude 1: Did u attend the HIV fundraising campaign last nite?
Dude 2: Dunno that mate! You kno, my best pal JW Bush's father when he was born decided he didn't want a kid. So, he injected him with the HIV virus. He was 9 years old with 11 months to live. He is a senior at my middle school 2day still alive and kicking. He lives just like a normal kid would. I want to support his cause and spread the word, Hope Is Vital, not the virus.
Dude 2: Dunno that mate! You kno, my best pal JW Bush's father when he was born decided he didn't want a kid. So, he injected him with the HIV virus. He was 9 years old with 11 months to live. He is a senior at my middle school 2day still alive and kicking. He lives just like a normal kid would. I want to support his cause and spread the word, Hope Is Vital, not the virus.
by Quan Cao Tien July 6, 2010
Get the HIV mug.