31 definitions by quan cao tien

BUPA HEALTHCARE CENTRE.
A wealthy hospital benefactor was being shown around the healthcare centre. When during her tour, she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating furiously.

"Oh my GOD!!" screamed the woman, "That's disgraceful!!! Why is he doing that?"

The doctor who was leading the tour calmly explained, "I'm very sorry that you were exposed to that, but this man has a serious condition where his nuts rapidly fill with semen, and if he doesn't do that at least 5 times a day, he'll be in extreme pain and his nuts could easily rupture".

”Oh well, in that case, I guess it's ok." commented the woman.
In the very next room, a male patient was lying in bed and it was obvious that a nurse was performing oral s£x on him. Again, the woman screamed, "Oh my GOD!! How can THAT be justified?"

Again the doctor spoke very calmly, "Same illness, ma'am! at BUPA, those underage patients are being treated under a new physiotherapy method!!!"
by quan cao tien August 7, 2010
GIRL FRIEND

There are many good things in life, like cars, money, and weed. But if you want something confusing, a girl friend is all you need.

Your babe doesn't say what she wants, but you're somehow supposed to know. If they want to do this or do that, stay here, stay there, or just go.

Then there's the time, you all know what I mean, that monthly little joy. That lets them abuse the crap out of you, just for being a boy.

If you ever dare look at another hot chick, they seem to scream, go on, and panic. But watch how fast they ignore you, at the sight of that queer from Titanic.

They give you questions like "Am I fat?", and "If you could go with one of my pals, who?". There is no answer, face the facts, you are definitely through.

They take nothing and blow it up, and make a tremendous fuss. So girls, no matter what you think, you are just as hard to understand as us. What a bit of stuff!
by quan cao tien August 19, 2010
"Football Is For All".
*Husband: From 11th June until 11th July 2010, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. The remote control will be fingerprinted each night, any sign of your fingerprints and all shopping trips will be cancelled for a month.
*Wife: But… FIFA and I like fitbaw, too!
by quan cao tien August 7, 2010
Whisky or Scotch, or Uisge Beatha in Gaelic, is a type of distilled beverage from fermented grain mash. Different grains are used for different varieties, including barley, rye, corn cum wheat. Whisky’s aged in wooden casks, made generally of white oak. The distillate must age for at least three years and one day in Scotland to be called Scotch whisky, although most single malts are offered at a minimum of eight years of age. Scotch whisky is divided into five distinct categories: single malt, blended malt , blended Scotch whisky, blended grain Scotch whisky, and single grain Scotch whisky. Plain caramel colouring may be added. That is the greatest liquor I have ever drunk so far! I cannot imagine what the world would be without whisky.
Scottish proverb - "Never mix whisky with water, cola or ice because whisky can only be mixed with whisky only".
by quan cao tien August 12, 2010
Being Vietnamese is about riding in a Chinese motorbike to an local pub for a Lao beer, then travelling home, grabbing Cambodian common rat dishes on the way, phoning friends by a Finnish mobile phone, sitting on Italian furniture and watching Korean films on a Japanese TV every night as well.
*Vietnamese: I like these kinds of food such as squared sticky rice cakes, Pho, caramelised fish in claypot (ca kho to), Bun oc, Hu tieu, to name but a few.
*Korean: What about Lao beer? D'you like watching Korean films?
*Vietnamse: I do absolutely!
*Korean: You must be Vietnamese fo sho, man!
by quan cao tien August 12, 2010
Two friends sometimes meet up to chill out and watch a movie.

A: You know why God is a man?

B: Because if God was a woman she would have made milk taste like chocolate.
by quan cao tien August 19, 2010