paul fleming's definitions

Money Slut

These ladies are the filth of society. They search out a partner and the only attribute that is of interest to them is financial. Often seen with gentlemen twice their age, or in large expensive vehicles. They very rarely have children as they are too selfish to look after anyone except themselves. These ladies are the same as whores, except they have to stay with the client until he dies, then claims the money that the client (husband) has left her.

Samuel: Wasn't the funeral sad, I didn't see any tears from the dead mans widow though, I thought it was his daughter until Debbie told me it was his wife.
Mark: Yeah, she's a "Money Slut", she was fucking behind his back for years, I even had a piece of her ass last May. She's loaded now though.

by Paul Fleming July 10, 2006

Monster Man

This is the description of a man who behaves like a monster and who has trouble socialising with other humans. These individuals often reside in the Midlands area of England, but are also found in towns on the North West of England.

Nigel: That guy over there looks mental, he is giving me dirty looks and is making crazy noises that are quite scary.
Paul: Watch yourself, he's a "Monster Man" so I wouldn't start anything. He will rip you in two.
Nigel: I wasn't going to.

by Paul Fleming July 11, 2006

Website Junkie

These individuals are addicted to websites. This condition often stems from the lack of a role model as a child, but can be blamed on anything from boredom, to an obsession with a particular field. The subject often visits the same sites over and over in the hope finding something new, much like a dog keeps checking his food bowl incase more food has been left for him. Normally reside in the North East of Scotland.

Kellie: Whats wrong with Simon these days? I called him last night and he said he was online and just hung up on me. It was really rude of him.
Steven: Don't take it personally, I was talking to his Mum and she said the phsychiatrist diagnosed him as a "Website Junkie". He just can't keep away from the internet.
Kellie: Oh, I thought he was just fucking rude.

by Paul Fleming July 12, 2006

Insurance Whore

These females are what is known as a God send to any male looking for easy sex. You will find these girls at all nightclubs up and down the UK. They normally never refuse sex and are not the most attractive in their appearance.

If a male has failed in his conquest to find a sex partner for the night, he can always lower his standards and find a "Insurance Whore". Just like car insurance will never let you down, neither will a 'Insurance Whore".

Les: I really came to this club looking for a nice girl to have sex with, but it's getting late and I can't see myself getting lucky now.
Phil: Don't be such a quitter, theres loads of "Insurance Whores" in this place, you just have to lower your standards.
Les: Thanks mate, You always know what to say to cheer me up!

by Paul Fleming July 12, 2006

Forum Addict

These people originate on the Eastern coast of the USA. Often these individuals visit internet forums and post statements that make no sense and are of no relevance to the topic that is being discussed.
They have no control of their disorder and will stop at nothing to get another pointless sentance posted on some forum.

Quentin7234: Why did that guy just post on the forum that his dog doesn't eat sugar free biscuits, when this forum is about Battlefield 2?
Soothie1932: I think that guy is a "Forum Addict", he posts on average 43 times a day on this site and I am yet to see him make any sense.
Quentin7234: Well, I wish he would stop. He makes me uncomfortable.

by Paul Fleming July 13, 2006

Slut Doctor

These are doctors that help all females give birth. 9 months after a female has whored around, she will be puished with a small creature that will develope into another human. The person who is paid to help remove the creature from the slut is often reffered to as a "Slut Doctor", because his only aim is to help the slut.

Stacey(pregnant): I'm so nervous, when those guys were waitng in line to have sex with me 9 months ago I never thought that i'd end up in hospital, I'm so scared!
Tracey: Don't be scared babe, the "Slut Doctor" knows what he is doing. He will get that creature out of you in no time!
Stacey: I hope so! I look like an elephant.

by Paul Fleming July 13, 2006

Whored Up

This is another name for a pregnant woman. Often used by intellects and graduates to describe someone who has obviously been involved in a sex act within the last 9 months.

Jenny: Look at the size of her, she looks like a whale.
Sara: Hey, don't be so hard on her, she went to some swingers party a few months ago and got herself "Whored Up" by some guy, she is due in about 4 months.
Jenny: That will teach her. And she still looks like a whale, even if she is "Whored Up".

by Paul Fleming July 13, 2006