paul fleming's definitions

Spaghetti Man

1.) A man who is very thin, tall and bendy, often found on the Northern coast of South America.
2.) A person who is clearly insane and who has been released from a mental home without full tests being done.
3.) An Italian male who is a hit with the ladies due to his diet of spaghetti and olive oil.

Francesca: Mama Mia!! Look at that crazy man with no clothes on, he is making silly noises like a deformed dog, whats wrong with him?
Lisconelli: He is a "spaghetti Man" so don't be mean, he can not help being crazy.
Francesca: I wasn't being mean! You always look for the worst in me Lisconelli, i'm getting sick of it now!
Lisconelli: You are over reacting again. Maybe you are a "Spaghetti Man"!

by Paul Fleming July 30, 2006

One Horse Town

This is the name given to describe a small town with high unemployment. These towns are said to be very common in Wales, but are also found in Ireland, and Scotland where education is very limited.
Also a name given to a town that has a small population.

Steve: Since I moved here from the city I am begining to see that everyone is stupid, there are no jobs, and guys are marrying their own sisters, whats that all about?
Colin: This place is backwards, these people don't know any different. This is a "One Horse Town".
Steve:, Yeah, you are right, but the problem is everyone thinks they are the jockey.

by Paul Fleming July 19, 2006

Slut Jockey

A male with a reputation of sleeping with the opposite sex as frequently as he requires. Normally the "slut jockey" isn't particularly fussy about his partner. As the name suggests, he is like a jockey, but instead of a jockey riding 5 horses on a single day (ie. at Aintree), this male may ride up to 5 females. He also stays in character by telling his partner how well they did, and may even give them a pat on the top of their head to show his appreciation of their efforts.

Damien: Look at that guy over there, those girls are
desperate to be fucked by him.
Daryll: Yeah, thats Nigel, he's fucking more girls a day than I get to talk to, he's a Slut Jockey.
Damien: Oh, I see. Lucky Bastard.

by Paul Fleming September 5, 2008

Slut Doctor

These are doctors that help all females give birth. 9 months after a female has whored around, she will be puished with a small creature that will develope into another human. The person who is paid to help remove the creature from the slut is often reffered to as a "Slut Doctor", because his only aim is to help the slut.

Stacey(pregnant): I'm so nervous, when those guys were waitng in line to have sex with me 9 months ago I never thought that i'd end up in hospital, I'm so scared!
Tracey: Don't be scared babe, the "Slut Doctor" knows what he is doing. He will get that creature out of you in no time!
Stacey: I hope so! I look like an elephant.

by Paul Fleming July 13, 2006

Forum Fighter

This is a way to describe an annoying person who joins an internet forum just to try to upset people with foul language, or by insulting people. Normally these people have a history of depresion which is why they find the need to try to make others feel worthless, as they do themselves.
Typically these individuals are between the ages of 18-35 and have a history of being a recluse and a loner. As of yet the only treatment is to ignore these people. and to say a prayer for them if you want.

Sharroz: Why did that guy come on this forum and call me a loser for no reason?
Albert: It's because he is a "Forum Fighter", he is trying to wing you up, so don't let him.
Sharroz: Oh, I won't, but i'll get him back.

by Paul Fleming July 17, 2006

Insurance Whore

These females are what is known as a God send to any male looking for easy sex. You will find these girls at all nightclubs up and down the UK. They normally never refuse sex and are not the most attractive in their appearance.

If a male has failed in his conquest to find a sex partner for the night, he can always lower his standards and find a "Insurance Whore". Just like car insurance will never let you down, neither will a 'Insurance Whore".

Les: I really came to this club looking for a nice girl to have sex with, but it's getting late and I can't see myself getting lucky now.
Phil: Don't be such a quitter, theres loads of "Insurance Whores" in this place, you just have to lower your standards.
Les: Thanks mate, You always know what to say to cheer me up!

by Paul Fleming July 12, 2006

Maregasm

This is a horses equivalent of a orgasm. In some hick towns in America where sleeping with animals is accepted, boasting in the bar about giving your horse a "Maregasm" is quite common and completely acceptable.

Cletis: I gone and got me a new horse called Betsie, She's a beauty, it took me a while but i gave her a "Maregasm" she aint never gonna forget!
John Boy: Way ta go Cletis, you a lucky man!

by Paul Fleming July 14, 2006