pantaloon's definitions

nowski

1)verb-to kiss with mouth open wider than person being kissed, resulting in saliva coating the entire mouthel region (including mustache and beard area, and possibly ear,nose and throat)
2)The shiny surfaces wetted as a result of being "nowskied."

1)She leaned forward and opened her mouth wide to nowski me. I could see the contents of her stomach because happened to be wearing my spelunking helmut.
2)When they left the closet after their "seven minutes in heaven," the nowski was clear from the sheen around her lips and chin.

by Pantaloon January 13, 2008

pilates

A form of torture created by Pontius Pilate, the man who crucified the savior. It's not as easy as you might think. St. Paul was certified in Pilates and Advanced Spin. The original 12 wanted to emphasize diet (bread, wine, omega 3s from fish oil, etc.) This caused quite a schism as you might imagine. This went on for awhile, until the Serfing craze caught on with the Barbarian invasion of Ringo, George, Cedric, and Dagobert.

After the crucifixion,a lot of fitness buffs tried to jump on the band wagon so Pilate was forced opened a gym (Pilates Fitness, inc.) at the local coliseum and hire some trainers. The gold members were given the "Martyr" card.

by Pantaloon January 18, 2008

albee beck

The name of Arnold Schwarzenegger's grade school lover from his early days in Austria. During the filming of "The Terminator," AS was reported to be still distraught, even years later, over the bitter ending of this romance, and was forever uttering the boy's name. James Cameron, in perhaps one of the most brilliant moments in cinema history, decided to put one outtake into the film, where they were adjusting the lighting, and Arnold was waiting simply waiting on his mark for the next take. This moment captured on film is perhaps the quintessential expression of Man's existential aloneness in the universe, and AS's eventual destruction of the set in the name of Albee seems only fitting in retrospect.

Albee Beck had a tight ass, back in der Tag.

by Pantaloon January 19, 2008

jang

The sweet aftertaste of oral sex on a woman.

The young lads were seekers of jang, and would spare no expense to this end. Twas as noble cause as ever was.

by Pantaloon January 14, 2008

twas

1)a possessive form of the airline abbreviation
2)The plural of "twat"
3)A toast made a bit later in the evening.

1)You're supposed to give those headphones back to the Stewardess, they're TWAs.
2)I paid the ladies ahead of time for my favorite holiday pastime. Twas, the night before Christmas.
3)First round- to your beauty and my wit.(Drink)
Second round-to a lovely evening! (Drink)
Third round- to you- what's your name again?(they drink)
Eight round- Twas! (spill, then find mouth)

by Pantaloon January 12, 2008

stock the pond

The act of squeezing off a few fresh finless brown trout into the bowl. Essential for the overall health of the ecosystem.

He hadn't shat for days, but the water would be teaming with fresh finless browns when he went to stock the pond.

by Pantaloon January 14, 2008

hash mark

Track marks left by underpants rubbing against a soiled starfish. Similar to skid marks, but lighter brown color. Almost beige. Possibly due to differences in diet from those who produce skid marks. Some studies have been done, but nothing conclusive has been published as this goes to print.

Girl, glancing at the floor- You don't have a hash mark in your boxers.
Fellow-You seem surprised.
Girl- Oh, most of the guys that come in here have them. 19 out of 20, I'd say.
Fellow, puffing out his chest- Well, then, thank you much. Is that what I smelled walked in here?
Girl-No, that's just my upper lip, from the Dirty Sanchez I had for breakfast.
Fellow- I thought you said I was your first!
Girl-Oh, yeah, you're right. I guess I must have just shit myself.
Fellow, relieved- Oh, Thank God!

by Pantaloon January 16, 2008