pantaloon's definitions

twas

1)a possessive form of the airline abbreviation
2)The plural of "twat"
3)A toast made a bit later in the evening.

1)You're supposed to give those headphones back to the Stewardess, they're TWAs.
2)I paid the ladies ahead of time for my favorite holiday pastime. Twas, the night before Christmas.
3)First round- to your beauty and my wit.(Drink)
Second round-to a lovely evening! (Drink)
Third round- to you- what's your name again?(they drink)
Eight round- Twas! (spill, then find mouth)

by Pantaloon January 12, 2008

hash mark

Track marks left by underpants rubbing against a soiled starfish. Similar to skid marks, but lighter brown color. Almost beige. Possibly due to differences in diet from those who produce skid marks. Some studies have been done, but nothing conclusive has been published as this goes to print.

Girl, glancing at the floor- You don't have a hash mark in your boxers.
Fellow-You seem surprised.
Girl- Oh, most of the guys that come in here have them. 19 out of 20, I'd say.
Fellow, puffing out his chest- Well, then, thank you much. Is that what I smelled walked in here?
Girl-No, that's just my upper lip, from the Dirty Sanchez I had for breakfast.
Fellow- I thought you said I was your first!
Girl-Oh, yeah, you're right. I guess I must have just shit myself.
Fellow, relieved- Oh, Thank God!

by Pantaloon January 16, 2008

Cunningham

The penis of the character of Mr. Cunningham from the television show "Happy Days."

Mrs. C.- Oh, Howard, I want you to stick me with your Cunningham till it stinks.
Mr. C.- What else would I do, Marion?
Joanie- If you don't know Dad, I feel sorry for you.
Mr. C.- Joanie, go to your room!
Joanie- Why do I always have to go to my room everytime you take your dick out?

by Pantaloon January 28, 2008

heissucha

Overused start of a phrase. 50% of people that submit entries in UD to be published simply take the first name of their friend,enemy, ex-boyfriend, and tack it onto the end of this phrase.

Hopeful entry into the sacred dictionary: Heissucha Robert.
***sound of mouse clicking on the reject button***

by Pantaloon January 19, 2008

gilligan

1)to spend time with beautiful women coming on to you with no possible consequences (it was the sixties), and yet avoid getting laid for seven years. I mean, WTF?

I'm pretty sure Herman Munster or Eddie Haskell wouldn't have pulled a Gilligan if they had their druthers.

by Pantaloon January 28, 2008

fecal matter

Something or someone associated in some way with feces.

Overheard at the Senate hearings-
Senator McCain: "General Petraeus, What is your opinion on the Fecal Matter?"
General Petraeus: "Sir? You are referring to the situation in Iraq, sir?"
McCain: "What? What in God's name are you talking about?"
Petraeus: "You were asking me about the bad situation we are in with Iraq?"
McCain:"What the hell? No I wasn't, you nincompoop! I just shit myself. I'm 70 years old, and it seems to happen more and more at these damnable hearings. I just thought you might like the interesting design it made on my trousers."
Petraeus: "I'm not prepared to comment on that at this point in time, sir"
McCain: "Very good, Petraeus. That will be all... Where the hell is my nurse?"

by Pantaloon January 30, 2008

Break the water line

A dump which is able to support itself and rise above the typical average water level in a toilet. An outstanding achievement, the performer is encouraged to bring others in to witness. Photographs do not have the same impact.

He was able to break the water line with a single chute of feces. They carried from the field that day.

by Pantaloon January 14, 2008