the act of giving oral sex in order to hide ones inablility to summon an erection. Named for the character from Happy Days.
Joanie (spread eagle and signalling Ralph Malph to plow her)- Come on, Malphie, gimme the high hard one.
Ralph - Uh, Joannie, Uh, aren't we moving a little fast?
Joanie- you sound like Chachi, ya big wuss. Whip it out, goddammit!
Ralph - (gazing wildly about till he remembers how he solved this with Potsie just last week. Nods.)Aha!
(laugh track)(bends over into Joanie's lap and buries his face in her little Mrs. C. Note to director: Remember this is supposed to be the fifties and it's network television. Ralph's face must be surrounded by Joanie's ungroomed muskpelt in order to get past the censors.)
Joanie- Unngh!(Leans back and smiles)
(laugh track chuckles and full roars as this goes on for awhile. Joanie checks her watch- laugh track).
Joanie- (Winces)Hey, Ralphie, it's not a punching bag!
Ralph- (Through his teeth) I still got it!
(Applause, fadeout, roll credits).
Ralph - Uh, Joannie, Uh, aren't we moving a little fast?
Joanie- you sound like Chachi, ya big wuss. Whip it out, goddammit!
Ralph - (gazing wildly about till he remembers how he solved this with Potsie just last week. Nods.)Aha!
(laugh track)(bends over into Joanie's lap and buries his face in her little Mrs. C. Note to director: Remember this is supposed to be the fifties and it's network television. Ralph's face must be surrounded by Joanie's ungroomed muskpelt in order to get past the censors.)
Joanie- Unngh!(Leans back and smiles)
(laugh track chuckles and full roars as this goes on for awhile. Joanie checks her watch- laugh track).
Joanie- (Winces)Hey, Ralphie, it's not a punching bag!
Ralph- (Through his teeth) I still got it!
(Applause, fadeout, roll credits).
by Pantaloon January 28, 2008
Get the Ralph Malph mug.1)a form of petty thievery where the thief has a limited amount of time before he must flee the scene, and so maximizes this opportunity by breaking the glass of a storefront or display and grabbing as much loot as is possible in a single swoop. Often a shattered mess is what remains of the scene.
2)George W. Bush and Dick Cheney's Domestic and Foreign Policy. Substitute the words " the glass of a storefront or display" with either "Iraq,""The Planet," or "The American People."
2)George W. Bush and Dick Cheney's Domestic and Foreign Policy. Substitute the words " the glass of a storefront or display" with either "Iraq,""The Planet," or "The American People."
1) The proprietors had it coming. They were just begging for a good ol' smash and grab.
2)Substitute "Iraq", "The Planet," "The American People," "our grandchildren," for the word "proprietors." in the above sentence.
2)Substitute "Iraq", "The Planet," "The American People," "our grandchildren," for the word "proprietors." in the above sentence.
by Pantaloon January 15, 2008
Get the smash and grab mug.similar to taste the rainbow, the man uses his penis in the same manner as the classic candy machine. Not sure why he would want to do this, but it's always great fun at parties, and allows for hands free snack delivery.
Some of the younger kids at the concert missed the cultural reference when Jim dropped trou and gave em the ol' Pez Dispenser. One of them even had the nerve to yell out "Thanks for the gumball, Mickey!" As Jimmy flicked a few treats in his direction. As if he would ever put gumballs into his dick. Who would be crazy enough to do that?
by Pantaloon January 18, 2008
Get the pez dispenser mug.What happens sometimes when the alcohol wears off before you get a girl back to your room. With the lights turned on, and the buzz gone, you realize that anything that might have caught your eye is really just derivative and uninteresting without the special effects and booze, and that really what you've got looks more like a skinny little boy than Madonna, Greta Garbo,Maryln Monroe, or a mildly amusing Blow-up doll.
The actual gwen stephani is the snapping noise as your dick and scrotum shrivels up rapidly into your abdomen. May require hospitalization and/or counseling for recovery.
The actual gwen stephani is the snapping noise as your dick and scrotum shrivels up rapidly into your abdomen. May require hospitalization and/or counseling for recovery.
Jimmy thought he was being a smart driver by only having one drink, but when his "date" came out of the bathroom, he almost thought he saw balls, but couldn't clear his head enough to prevent a full-on gwen stephanie from knocking him to the ground.
by Pantaloon January 18, 2008
Get the gwen stephani mug.Verb found in alien cookbook to serve man- cause of rising stock prices, sedation and weight gain of local population in US and China, and utter destruction of all critical thinking.
1)Wal-Mart for twenty years or until meat is about to fall off the bone.
2)We were going to repair the washing machine but figured why not Wal-Mart it.
2)We were going to repair the washing machine but figured why not Wal-Mart it.
by Pantaloon January 12, 2008
Get the Wal-Mart mug.They rented a piece of Euro Trash, that managed to carry them around the country, but pressing half the buttons only caused things like mirrors and door handles to fall off.
by Pantaloon January 14, 2008
Get the Euro Trash mug.1)verb-to kiss with mouth open wider than person being kissed, resulting in saliva coating the entire mouthel region (including mustache and beard area, and possibly ear,nose and throat)
2)The shiny surfaces wetted as a result of being "nowskied."
2)The shiny surfaces wetted as a result of being "nowskied."
1)She leaned forward and opened her mouth wide to nowski me. I could see the contents of her stomach because happened to be wearing my spelunking helmut.
2)When they left the closet after their "seven minutes in heaven," the nowski was clear from the sheen around her lips and chin.
2)When they left the closet after their "seven minutes in heaven," the nowski was clear from the sheen around her lips and chin.
by Pantaloon January 13, 2008
Get the nowski mug.