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pantaloon's definitions

smash and grab

1)a form of petty thievery where the thief has a limited amount of time before he must flee the scene, and so maximizes this opportunity by breaking the glass of a storefront or display and grabbing as much loot as is possible in a single swoop. Often a shattered mess is what remains of the scene.
2)George W. Bush and Dick Cheney's Domestic and Foreign Policy. Substitute the words " the glass of a storefront or display" with either "Iraq,""The Planet," or "The American People."
1) The proprietors had it coming. They were just begging for a good ol' smash and grab.
2)Substitute "Iraq", "The Planet," "The American People," "our grandchildren," for the word "proprietors." in the above sentence.
by Pantaloon January 15, 2008
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pez dispenser

similar to taste the rainbow, the man uses his penis in the same manner as the classic candy machine. Not sure why he would want to do this, but it's always great fun at parties, and allows for hands free snack delivery.
Some of the younger kids at the concert missed the cultural reference when Jim dropped trou and gave em the ol' Pez Dispenser. One of them even had the nerve to yell out "Thanks for the gumball, Mickey!" As Jimmy flicked a few treats in his direction. As if he would ever put gumballs into his dick. Who would be crazy enough to do that?
by Pantaloon January 18, 2008
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pilates

A form of torture created by Pontius Pilate, the man who crucified the savior. It's not as easy as you might think. St. Paul was certified in Pilates and Advanced Spin. The original 12 wanted to emphasize diet (bread, wine, omega 3s from fish oil, etc.) This caused quite a schism as you might imagine. This went on for awhile, until the Serfing craze caught on with the Barbarian invasion of Ringo, George, Cedric, and Dagobert.
After the crucifixion,a lot of fitness buffs tried to jump on the band wagon so Pilate was forced opened a gym (Pilates Fitness, inc.) at the local coliseum and hire some trainers. The gold members were given the "Martyr" card.
by Pantaloon January 18, 2008
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heissucha

Overused start of a phrase. 50% of people that submit entries in UD to be published simply take the first name of their friend,enemy, ex-boyfriend, and tack it onto the end of this phrase.
Hopeful entry into the sacred dictionary: Heissucha Robert.
***sound of mouse clicking on the reject button***
by Pantaloon January 19, 2008
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Cowper's Fluid

see pre-cum,precum
Named for William Cowper, the man on whom it was discovered that a few drops of liquid form at the tip of his dick when it is aroused, and twas thought it might be a little something to leave the kids in the form of a legacy.
One day in London, circa 1890, James Worthington, Thomas Haley, and William Cowper were just hanging out at the lab with their Starbucks Mochachinos, calculating the orbits of moons, looking through microscopes, and whatnot, when Haley jumped up and exclaimed, "Cowper, don't move! Stay exactly the way you are!"
Worthington had his eye on the microscope looking at some platelets, when he turned toward Cowper, who was stroking himself absentmindedly. This was nothing unusual in the course of things, but Haley rummaged through the flasks and vials, and found a long q-tip and a test tube, and stepped gingerly toward Cowper's member.
"What on earth are you doing, Haley?!" Worthington implored.
"Sshush, James! You'll scare it away."
Haley reached in, as if offering a perch to a hummingbird and gently dabbed the end of Cowper's manhood, giving the stick gentle half turns with each dip. "Alas, I have it."
Cowper was sitting as if in a stupor, and relaxed the hold on his dick. He was experimenting with a technique his colleague Jefferson Kegel had shown him, and so was a bit otherwise absorbed.
They placed the q-tip under the slide and each took a taste. "Hmmm, it's not quite jism, is it Worthy?"
"No, something different. Cowper's fluid is somehow unique."
"And so it is," Haley announced. "Henceforth this stuff from the end of Bill's nub will be called "Cowper's fluid."
There was much rejoicing and merriment, and the ladies brought in trays of whiskey and a violin was produced. A great celebration was had by all.
by Pantaloon January 14, 2008
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smoke screen

Underpants. Silk filters flatus 80% than cotton, except in the event of broccoli consumption.
Jasmine thought the thong would erase her unsightly panty lines, but she forgot that she also was foregoing the smoke screen her panties afforded her. The tacos she had for lunch produced shrapnel that the thong was unprepared to deal with.
by Pantaloon February 5, 2008
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muddy boot

The darkened skin area around the vagina which leaves one with the impression that a muddy boot had recently trod upon it. Often called a muddy bootprint
When Tatiana fell on her ass, the muddy boot was peering out the sides of her thong. The image stalked Jonah's thoughts like an angry lumberjack.
by Pantaloon January 14, 2008
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