pantaloon's definitions

marble bag

Speedo bathing suit.

Kevin, at the pool: Hey what's that clacking noise?
Mark, puffing out his chest: That's my marble bag. Check it out.
Kevin, cupping: Not bad, not bad.
Mark, jumping back: Hey! Look, but no touch!
Kevin: I've held better.

by Pantaloon February 9, 2008

albee beck

The name of Arnold Schwarzenegger's grade school lover from his early days in Austria. During the filming of "The Terminator," AS was reported to be still distraught, even years later, over the bitter ending of this romance, and was forever uttering the boy's name. James Cameron, in perhaps one of the most brilliant moments in cinema history, decided to put one outtake into the film, where they were adjusting the lighting, and Arnold was waiting simply waiting on his mark for the next take. This moment captured on film is perhaps the quintessential expression of Man's existential aloneness in the universe, and AS's eventual destruction of the set in the name of Albee seems only fitting in retrospect.

Albee Beck had a tight ass, back in der Tag.

by Pantaloon January 19, 2008

stock the pond

The act of squeezing off a few fresh finless brown trout into the bowl. Essential for the overall health of the ecosystem.

He hadn't shat for days, but the water would be teaming with fresh finless browns when he went to stock the pond.

by Pantaloon January 14, 2008

twas

1)a possessive form of the airline abbreviation
2)The plural of "twat"
3)A toast made a bit later in the evening.

1)You're supposed to give those headphones back to the Stewardess, they're TWAs.
2)I paid the ladies ahead of time for my favorite holiday pastime. Twas, the night before Christmas.
3)First round- to your beauty and my wit.(Drink)
Second round-to a lovely evening! (Drink)
Third round- to you- what's your name again?(they drink)
Eight round- Twas! (spill, then find mouth)

by Pantaloon January 12, 2008

hash mark

Track marks left by underpants rubbing against a soiled starfish. Similar to skid marks, but lighter brown color. Almost beige. Possibly due to differences in diet from those who produce skid marks. Some studies have been done, but nothing conclusive has been published as this goes to print.

Girl, glancing at the floor- You don't have a hash mark in your boxers.
Fellow-You seem surprised.
Girl- Oh, most of the guys that come in here have them. 19 out of 20, I'd say.
Fellow, puffing out his chest- Well, then, thank you much. Is that what I smelled walked in here?
Girl-No, that's just my upper lip, from the Dirty Sanchez I had for breakfast.
Fellow- I thought you said I was your first!
Girl-Oh, yeah, you're right. I guess I must have just shit myself.
Fellow, relieved- Oh, Thank God!

by Pantaloon January 16, 2008

caruso

1)The act of adding melodrama to everything you do, even to the point that brushing your teeth is poignant and suspensful.
2)The act of leaving a job when it is at its most profitable, aging 50 years and getting on a CSI spin-off.

1)William Shatner doesn't actually caruso when he acts, although it seems a bit over the top. He is actually fitted with an undergarment ice cup to dip his balls in, to get that speech pattern. Only Caruso can caruso as truly as is humanly possible.
2)I liked the blow-job she was giving me, but I had to finish my term paper. I made an excuse to leave, without realizing I had carusoed and wouldn't dip the wick for another 6 months.

by Pantaloon January 14, 2008

splume

The penile geyser of manjuice that overfloweth upon orgasm.

He neglected to mention the depth and breadth of his splume, nor the angle of approach. She got home from the prom wearing his adolescent glaze.

by Pantaloon January 14, 2008