pantaloon's definitions

Olympervert

Someone who needs to watch figure skaters and Girls gymnastics to splume.

The Olympervert tried to time his finish for the exact moment of her dismount, but he misjudged and fired off at the springboard. The Russian judge gave him a 9.4

by Pantaloon January 14, 2008

Wal-Mart

Verb found in alien cookbook to serve man- cause of rising stock prices, sedation and weight gain of local population in US and China, and utter destruction of all critical thinking.

1)Wal-Mart for twenty years or until meat is about to fall off the bone.
2)We were going to repair the washing machine but figured why not Wal-Mart it.

by Pantaloon January 12, 2008

handy

1)European word for cell phone.
2)Also known as coochie war cry, the slapping of the hand furiously against the vagina to arouse the warriors.
3)hand job.
4)A short skirt with little or no undergarmentry, to allow ready access.

1)We were able to get three bars on the Handy when we took the u-bahn Unter dem Linden.
2)Vera asked me for a Handie before she went in to ask for a raise. She leaned her backend across the aisle and I was able to slap her waggle silly from the comfort of my own cubicle.
3)Before the big sales presentation, I asked Wendy for a handy, just to steady my nerves, but she would only give me a bronski and a hummer.
4)Sarah wore a handy into the office, and was ready for dictation with minimal fabric displacement.

by Pantaloon January 17, 2008

smash and grab

1)a form of petty thievery where the thief has a limited amount of time before he must flee the scene, and so maximizes this opportunity by breaking the glass of a storefront or display and grabbing as much loot as is possible in a single swoop. Often a shattered mess is what remains of the scene.
2)George W. Bush and Dick Cheney's Domestic and Foreign Policy. Substitute the words " the glass of a storefront or display" with either "Iraq,""The Planet," or "The American People."

1) The proprietors had it coming. They were just begging for a good ol' smash and grab.
2)Substitute "Iraq", "The Planet," "The American People," "our grandchildren," for the word "proprietors." in the above sentence.

by Pantaloon January 15, 2008

pez dispenser

similar to taste the rainbow, the man uses his penis in the same manner as the classic candy machine. Not sure why he would want to do this, but it's always great fun at parties, and allows for hands free snack delivery.

Some of the younger kids at the concert missed the cultural reference when Jim dropped trou and gave em the ol' Pez Dispenser. One of them even had the nerve to yell out "Thanks for the gumball, Mickey!" As Jimmy flicked a few treats in his direction. As if he would ever put gumballs into his dick. Who would be crazy enough to do that?

by Pantaloon January 18, 2008

smoke screen

Underpants. Silk filters flatus 80% than cotton, except in the event of broccoli consumption.

Jasmine thought the thong would erase her unsightly panty lines, but she forgot that she also was foregoing the smoke screen her panties afforded her. The tacos she had for lunch produced shrapnel that the thong was unprepared to deal with.

by Pantaloon February 5, 2008

Cunningham

The penis of the character of Mr. Cunningham from the television show "Happy Days."

Mrs. C.- Oh, Howard, I want you to stick me with your Cunningham till it stinks.
Mr. C.- What else would I do, Marion?
Joanie- If you don't know Dad, I feel sorry for you.
Mr. C.- Joanie, go to your room!
Joanie- Why do I always have to go to my room everytime you take your dick out?

by Pantaloon January 28, 2008