pantaloon's definitions

the professor

The ruse of having a guy come over to fix something, with the real intention of having sex with him. Much the same way Marianne, Ginger, Mrs. Howell, and the Skipper, used to play the Professor on the ol' TV classic Gilligan's Island.

Elaine worked the professor on Newman. She had him come over to fix her mail slot, and he delivered all over her.

by Pantaloon January 28, 2008

gandhi

1)Brilliant leader of non-violent Indian insurgency against British colonial rule during the first half of 20th century in. Philosophy of civil disobedience not only won independence for India, Pakistan, and Bangladesh, but influenced Civil Rights movement in US through slain leader Martin Luther King Jr.
2)To shit one's pants or man-diaper with no visible sign of discomfort.

1)Gandhi inspired many millions of people to risk their lives to rid themselves of the shackles of the British Empire. He would often sit at his loom in a diaper. This was awe inspiring.
2)Uncle Joe would watch the Sunday games in his old Barcalounger with the food tray in front of him. Nary a facial muscle would twitch when he gandhied during the half-time show. The stench was unbelievable.

by Pantaloon January 22, 2008

Milk the bull

1)The act of trying to produce milk from a steer. Results may vary.
2)Euphemism for yanking the genitals in a downward motion.

1)Josiah did his very best to draw dairy product from the old Fella, but he was kicked clear in the head. Just goes to show, you can teach a man to fish, but ye jus kain milk the bull.
2)Jillian attempted to milk Tommy's bull right there at the booth, but she only succeeded in drawing the attention of the other patrons at Applebee's. The steady popping noise was too distracting from the delightful delicacies of which they were partaking. The waitress was forced to lend a hand to expedite the process.

by Pantaloon January 26, 2008

gwen stephani

What happens sometimes when the alcohol wears off before you get a girl back to your room. With the lights turned on, and the buzz gone, you realize that anything that might have caught your eye is really just derivative and uninteresting without the special effects and booze, and that really what you've got looks more like a skinny little boy than Madonna, Greta Garbo,Maryln Monroe, or a mildly amusing Blow-up doll.
The actual gwen stephani is the snapping noise as your dick and scrotum shrivels up rapidly into your abdomen. May require hospitalization and/or counseling for recovery.

Jimmy thought he was being a smart driver by only having one drink, but when his "date" came out of the bathroom, he almost thought he saw balls, but couldn't clear his head enough to prevent a full-on gwen stephanie from knocking him to the ground.

by Pantaloon January 18, 2008

Wal-Mart

Verb found in alien cookbook to serve man- cause of rising stock prices, sedation and weight gain of local population in US and China, and utter destruction of all critical thinking.

1)Wal-Mart for twenty years or until meat is about to fall off the bone.
2)We were going to repair the washing machine but figured why not Wal-Mart it.

by Pantaloon January 12, 2008

Olympervert

Someone who needs to watch figure skaters and Girls gymnastics to splume.

The Olympervert tried to time his finish for the exact moment of her dismount, but he misjudged and fired off at the springboard. The Russian judge gave him a 9.4

by Pantaloon January 14, 2008

gilligan

1)to spend time with beautiful women coming on to you with no possible consequences (it was the sixties), and yet avoid getting laid for seven years. I mean, WTF?

I'm pretty sure Herman Munster or Eddie Haskell wouldn't have pulled a Gilligan if they had their druthers.

by Pantaloon January 28, 2008