pantaloon's definitions

cell phone

Small silver block that characters on detective television shows,all the CSIs, and "House" pull out of their pockets when the writers can't get off the bong long enough to come up with a better plot device. This cube magically give the characters the next surprising clue which allows the story to dangle or move to its surprise ending, depending on how close to the end of the hour it is. See DNA EVIDENCE

Plot direction:
Caruso:I'll see you in hell/jail/syndication.
(reach into pocket for cell phone) Caruso (pause, adjust glasses, or draw back sport coat to get good handle on waist). I'm coming in.
Peripheral Snarky CSI Staffer: Who was that?
Caruso: They found-the murder weapon/killer/a time slot for CSI Des Moines.

by Pantaloon January 12, 2008

cat clock

The cat's asshole, because it resembles a watch dial. See Tabby TimexPekinese Rolex

Grandma thought she saw a cat clock. Every time the cat walked through the kitchen, Grandma would point at the asshole and say, "I can see what time it is." It was time for her meds, that's what time it was. Gimme the tin foil hat, Grandma!

by Pantaloon January 30, 2008

sleestak

A last final emptying of the penile shaft, often resembling grain tumbling off the conveyor, resembles also the introduction to the TV series Land of the Lost, when the humans are tossed over a waterfall with some bad editing.

I was able to prop myself up to get a good sleestak, covering her landing strip with my UFOs.

by Pantaloon January 14, 2008

mudshot

turgid wet mix of poo that is ejected with a single flexing of the gut. Shrapnel splatter is an acceptable casualty, but the bulk of the pile should be a singular paddy centered directly under anus. Often accompanied by feeling of well being and accomplishment. Underreported as the Eureka moment it is.

He lowered himself and quenched. The mudshot was almost painful, it was so beautiful. He felt himself drawn to a bright light and people who had been long dead surrounded him. It's not your time yet, they told him. There is much wiping to do. When he opened his eyes, he knew what to do. He put in his notice at work and bought a Harley that afternoon.

by Pantaloon January 14, 2008

gilligan

1)to spend time with beautiful women coming on to you with no possible consequences (it was the sixties), and yet avoid getting laid for seven years. I mean, WTF?

I'm pretty sure Herman Munster or Eddie Haskell wouldn't have pulled a Gilligan if they had their druthers.

by Pantaloon January 28, 2008

Break the water line

A dump which is able to support itself and rise above the typical average water level in a toilet. An outstanding achievement, the performer is encouraged to bring others in to witness. Photographs do not have the same impact.

He was able to break the water line with a single chute of feces. They carried from the field that day.

by Pantaloon January 14, 2008

splume

The penile geyser of manjuice that overfloweth upon orgasm.

He neglected to mention the depth and breadth of his splume, nor the angle of approach. She got home from the prom wearing his adolescent glaze.

by Pantaloon January 14, 2008