pantaloon's definitions

chesticles

What you get when you dive into icy cold water. The balls snap up through the abdominal cavity and come to rest in the thorax.

The water was so cold, Charlie got chesticles. his Speedo flat as a Ken doll.

by Pantaloon February 9, 2008

marble bag

Speedo bathing suit.

Kevin, at the pool: Hey what's that clacking noise?
Mark, puffing out his chest: That's my marble bag. Check it out.
Kevin, cupping: Not bad, not bad.
Mark, jumping back: Hey! Look, but no touch!
Kevin: I've held better.

by Pantaloon February 9, 2008

smoke screen

Underpants. Silk filters flatus 80% than cotton, except in the event of broccoli consumption.

Jasmine thought the thong would erase her unsightly panty lines, but she forgot that she also was foregoing the smoke screen her panties afforded her. The tacos she had for lunch produced shrapnel that the thong was unprepared to deal with.

by Pantaloon February 5, 2008

blow meat

The flesh on the back of the neck. Boxing legend Joe Frazier used the word to describe his own thick neck on "The Howard Stern Show"

Ginny found herself oddly attracted to a man's blow meat. She would stroke the meat in the same way she might milk a cow.

by Pantaloon February 5, 2008

cat clock

The cat's asshole, because it resembles a watch dial. See Tabby TimexPekinese Rolex

Grandma thought she saw a cat clock. Every time the cat walked through the kitchen, Grandma would point at the asshole and say, "I can see what time it is." It was time for her meds, that's what time it was. Gimme the tin foil hat, Grandma!

by Pantaloon January 30, 2008

fecal matter

Something or someone associated in some way with feces.

Overheard at the Senate hearings-
Senator McCain: "General Petraeus, What is your opinion on the Fecal Matter?"
General Petraeus: "Sir? You are referring to the situation in Iraq, sir?"
McCain: "What? What in God's name are you talking about?"
Petraeus: "You were asking me about the bad situation we are in with Iraq?"
McCain:"What the hell? No I wasn't, you nincompoop! I just shit myself. I'm 70 years old, and it seems to happen more and more at these damnable hearings. I just thought you might like the interesting design it made on my trousers."
Petraeus: "I'm not prepared to comment on that at this point in time, sir"
McCain: "Very good, Petraeus. That will be all... Where the hell is my nurse?"

by Pantaloon January 30, 2008

Marsha

To be the first to initiate your step-brothers in a sexual act. In the same manner as Marsha Brady of the Brady bunch did to each of the boys Brady.
Order-
1)Peter(age 12yrs 2 months)(anal 17yr birthday)
2)Bobby (age 10yrs 6 months)(Oral and Anal 15yrs, 4 months)
3)Oliver (age 21yr 10 months)(As seen on the reunion show "A Very Brady Blumpkin).
4)Greg and Mike (Anal only and threesome)25yrs and 52yrs, respectively).
5)Tiger (Oral only, 157 in dog years).

Carol was willing to 'marsha" Mike and Greg in any entrance but anal, as she feared a very Brady pink sock. She had tried this once with Sam the Butcher, but Alice walked in on them, and he pulled out of the driveway a little faster than she was prepared for. Her mother always told her that pink socks and short skirts do not go well together, and she had earned her patch on that quilt.

by Pantaloon January 28, 2008