9 definition by officialpyrocynical

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Phrase to use when a man's been simping. When a man, usually unattractive, publicly tweets at, or otherwise contacts, a girl who is usually out of their league with excessive compliments and/or the offering of money, you hit them with this. Anyone who received this phrase should automatically lose your respect. Stay away.
Tweet from @SoylentIsAwesome:
You're amazing, stunning. I want to give you money. What's your cashapp?
Tweet from @ChadBenja:
I hope she sees this bro.
by officialpyrocynical May 28, 2020

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a nice, long, kick in the nuts
i hate my life
by officialpyrocynical May 10, 2020

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The political power granted to people who are perceived to be victims by society. It's a result of identity politics, which is a bogus form of politics where one uses their identity in attempt to win an argument.
Man: the wage gap isn't real. all the studies disregard the different professions between men and women
Woman: excuse me? as a black woman, I am a victim of the patriarchy
Everyone: *claps*
Man: I hate victim power
by officialpyrocynical May 04, 2020

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English spoken in a bad French accent, with a few French words thrown in.
1. (talking about slamming a bottle on the table in anger)
Francois: I slam zhe "bouteille" on zhe table, for I will not stand for zhis. Zhe "verre" went everywhere, and I had to clean.
John: I'm reporting you for domestic abuse. That's not ok.
Francois: What?
John: Slamming her ass on a table?
Francois: Nonononono! It's a "bouteille"! For beer!
John: Why are you speaking in Frenglish?
2. (when talking about a mismanaged bank account)

Lois: Zhat count is wrong. I have more zhan zhis in my "compte bancaire". She is "stupide", and I will pound her wizh zhe law.
Andy: You're going to pound the banker with WHAT?
Lois: Zhe law! I will contact her wizh a request for the "tribunal".
Andy: This sounds like a really weird way to describe picking up women...
via giphy
by officialpyrocynical April 01, 2020

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A term to describe a grown adult with no source of reliable income, living in their parents' house, whose favourite hobby is retweeting Huffington Post articles off their mother's computer.
Jason is a woke and broke. He sits on his ass all day, tweeting about how funny he thinks Amy Schumer is and how Donald Trump is bad from his mother's computer. Whenever someone tweets at him saying, "Why don't you run for office, then?" he blocks them, not bothering to tell them how worthless he is.
by officialpyrocynical May 29, 2020

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The digital equivalent of a carcinogen
Buzzfeed is a digital carcinogen
by officialpyrocynical April 01, 2020

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An E-Girl is a girl who takes advantage of innocent men online. She gives men a false view of how the world works. By getting men to pay her for pictures or other favours, she's perpetuating the myth that the average woman likes a feminine man who essentially worships her. (a simp) If this trend is not broken, one could project the birth rate to fall as men increasingly have no idea what women want.
Jake: I found a cool E-Girl yesterday.

Matthew: E-Girls are dangerous, man. They suck your masculinity away.
via giphy
by officialpyrocynical March 30, 2020

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