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Boutique Call

(n.) An after-hours text from one’s boss demanding they return to the office. A professional's Booty Call.

Originated after the French Revolution, when the proletariat was forced to work long hours at the boutique because ownership had been killed by the Guillotine. Today, is often answered by individuals with a crumbling social life or a disturbing obsession with their boss.

Those who respond to a Boutique Call will often matter-of-factly mutter “No emotions, just promotions” before rollerblading all the way back to the office, in decline.
Tom's Boutique Call led to "Quick Fix and Chill" session with his boss, as they watched HR videos and massaged each others' data.
by nolandc October 5, 2019
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crust worldview

(n.) the effort to appreciate the less-loved aspects of a person.

Derives from enjoying a pizza for its crust.
Hannah: I am working to love you for your Cereal addiction.
Mike: Thank you for taking a crust worldview.
by nolandc September 2, 2019
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Endgame filibuster

(n.) During an argument with your significant other, vigorously repeating "I love you" for minutes, hours (or however long it takes) so that your partner stops arguing and goes to bed.

Such acts of heinous repetition are reserved for the endgames of critical arguments. If overused, endgame filibusters will cause the individual to go blue in the face, and potentially cause their partner to break up with them.

Often resembles demonic possession.
Person 1: "...I love you I love you I love you I love you --"
Person 2: "I can't believe you are endgame filibustering me."
Person 1: "-- I love you I love you I love..."
by nolandc September 15, 2019
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Excel Poetry

(n.) the act of writing non-work-related content into a spreadsheet while at work, so as if to appear you're toiling away.

Veiled procrastination. Allows the Excel-poet to engage in confident eye contact whenever the boss walks by. Meanwhile, sweaty colleagues scramble to appear busy, mystified.
I have time to forge my definitions thanks to Excel Poetry.
by nolandc September 24, 2019
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Sendgame

(n.) how good you are at texting back.

There are different levels of sendgame. Elite sendgame is known as “time travel texting” — responding so quickly that it appears you went back in time to think of reply. Most individuals have mid-tier sendgame with 1-6 hour response times. Atrocious sendgame is known as “Amazon Prime texting” — offering standard reply times of 2 days for qualifying friends.
Devon: "How's his pull-out game?"
Lana: "It's heinous. But his sendgame is on point."
by nolandc September 20, 2019
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Professor Thanos

(n.) A teacher who curves a class to fail 50% of students.

Often found in fields of physics or mathematics, a Professor Thanos is attracted to balance and assures the class his grading philosophy “is for your own good.” At the snap of Professor Thanos’s fingers, half of the graduating seniors will simply fade away.
Alan avoided Calculus III because he heard it was taught by a Professor Thanos.
by nolandc October 4, 2019
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Popeyes maneuver

(n.) resisting change as long as possible before its too late. Seen in all walks of life, including interpersonal issues to international affairs. Named after Popeyes' delayed entry into the chicken sandwich industry to compete with Chik-fil-A.
Karen: "Tom wants to cut his hair the day before our wedding."
Lisa: "It's a Popeyes maneuver, plain and simple."
by nolandc August 31, 2019
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