nicholas d's definitions

fecal festival

A shit show; a crazy situation that gets totally out of control. Synonyms include crap carnival, dump display, excrement expo, and poop parade.

Bonus day at Merrill Lynch turned into a real fecal festival when Bob the subprime mortgage trader got a bad number, which made him so mad that he took a dump in the middle of the trading floor and proceeded to throw balls of excrement at his boss.

by Nicholas D January 19, 2008

run up and squeeze

To approach and shoot somebody.

"I'll run up and squeeze and put a hole in ya." - 50 Cent, "Places to Go"

Manny: "Bitch did you just step on my foot?"
Reggie: "Chill man, it was an accident."
Manny: "Fool oh no you didn't. I'm fin' to spark metal on yo' ass."
Reggie: "What?"
Manny: "I'm gonna ride on you, dogg."
Reggie: "What?"
Manny: "I'm gonna run up and pop you."
Reggie: "What?"
Manny: "I'm gonna bust a cap in yo' ass."
Reggie: "What?"
Manny: "I'm fin' to blast my gat on you."
Reggie: "What?"
Manny: "I'm gonna roll up and squeeze and put a hole in ya."
Reggie: "What?"
Manny: "I'm gonna shoot you!"
Reggie: "Oh ok. I really didn't understand what you were trying to say there. You've been spending too much time on Urban Dictionary. You should cut down on the slang if you want to get your point across effectively."
Manny: "Wow, I never thought of it that way. Now that you mention it, I should make an attempt to use more straightforward language in the future when threatening someone. Thanks for the tip."
Reggie: "No problem. See you later."

by Nicholas D October 1, 2009

blow this bitch

To leave your current location.

Jared: "Oh man, don't tell me these jokers are trying to get high off the Reddi-Wip can again."
Reggie: "Yeah, the hell with that shit. I've got a fat bag of grass we can smoke back at my place. Let's blow this bitch."
Jared: "Word to your mother."

by Nicholas D December 24, 2007

flash the deuce

To hold up two fingers with the intent of signifying that you have to drop a deuce, i.e. take a crap.

Johnson: "Now Frank, you have to cut the green wire first. Go ahead and do that now."
Frank: "Ok, cutting the green wire. Here goes nothing...got it! What's next?"
Johnson: "You're doing great, Frankie. How much time do we have left?"
Frank: "One minute, forty-seven seconds til she blows."
Johnson: "Now cut the blue wire. Once you do that, there's only one more step until the bomb is disarmed."
Frank: "I can barely see down here...ok, blue wire, blue wire...I think this is it. Cutting now...ok, we're clear. What now, Johnson?"
Johnson (in the background): "Oh shit! Agnes, get the phone for me."
Frank: "Johnson!!! Are you there?"
Johnson's secretary: "Sorry hon, I just saw him flash the deuce. My guess is he'll be on the crapper for the next 10 minutes or so. Today was the office chili con carne festival. You'd better call back later."
Frank: "But we have to dismantle this bomb!!!"
Johnson's secretary: "Um yeah...I wouldn't know anything about that. I suggest you try calling back around...oh...maybe 3:30 this afternoon. Buh-bye now."

by Nicholas D June 17, 2008

eat that

A taunting phrase insinuating that a person has no choice but to accept an unfortunate fact. Similar to deal with it, suck it, or in your face. Usually used to add emphasis to an instance when one intends for the other person to get served.

Ryan: "Sup gangsta."
Steve: "Not too much, chief. Say, I have a little tidbit of news that might interest you."
Ryan: "What is it?"
Steve: "Well, last night, I banged your mom."
Ryan: "Oh yeah? Well my mom's a total slut, so eat that! She's such a slut that when someone yells 'hoedown' she jumps on the floor! Yeah, in your face!"
Steve: "Telling a jo mama joke about your own mom does not in any way redeem you, nor does it change the fact that I porked her. I believe you got served."

by Nicholas D December 27, 2011

jukebomb

To completely kill the mood at a bar by playing music on the jukebox that is unbefitting of the establishment, such as country at a trendy urban lounge, hardcore rap at a West Virginia honky tonk, or Celine Dion just about anywhere. Will often result in a mass exodus of people, costing the bar hundreds if not thousands of dollars in revenue, and really piss off the bar owner.

Jerry totally jukebombed The Playaz Club on Saturday night by queuing up 20 consecutive Michael Bolton songs. The place was packed before it started, but by the end of the third Bolton song, it was so quiet that you could almost hear crickets chirping.

by Nicholas D February 27, 2009

fire at the feces

To shoot the shit; to hang around and talk about whatever comes up without any real purpose.

Kyle: "Hey Brian, do you want to go outside and make targets out of cow manure and shoot our rifles at them?"
Brian: "No, I think I'm just gonna hang out here with Mike and Phil and fire at the feces."

by Nicholas D January 19, 2008