nicholas d's definitions

bad economy

An all-purpose excuse that people use during a recession to justify doing things that are below their usual standard. Often these things in reality have little or nothing to do with the economic circumstances.

Harry: "You took your girlfriend to Applebee's on Valentine's Day? Pretty weak."
Larry: "Whatever man, I didn't have a choice. Bad economy."

Senator: "Mr. Paulson, you really want to give the greedy, soulless bankers who caused this mess $700 billion with no strings attached?"
Henry Paulson: "Hey guys, bad economy. Just do it."
Senator: "Good point. I vote yes."

Fred: "Dude, tell me you didn't go home with that broke down 300-pound whale I saw you with at O'Shea's last night."
Brendan: "Dude, it's a bad economy. I'll take what I can get."
Fred: "Yeah, I guess you have to."

by Nicholas D March 15, 2009

slap your grandma

A phrase that means that something is so good that you're awestruck by it to the point where you're so disoriented that you might mistakenly slap your grandmother. If someone takes this literally it could at best cause an awkward situation and at worst cause your entire family to fall apart.

"Woo-wee, shut my mouth, slap your grandma!
There oughta be a law, get the sheriff on the phone
Lord have mercy, how'd she even get them britches on
That honky tonk badonkadonk..."
-Trace Adkins, "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk"

Mom: "Everybody, Jimmy was nice enough to cook us this Thanksgiving turkey!"
Everyone: "Yea, Jimmy! Hip hip hooray!"
Jimmy: "Aw gee guys...Mom, why don't you have the first bite."
Mom: (eating it) "WOW I'll be damned if this isn't the greatest turkey I've ever had! Slap your grandma!"
Jimmy: "OK." ***SMACK!!!*** (pimp-slaps her across the face)
Mom: "Well I never! Jimmy, how could you?"
Dad: "Son, get out of here this instant. You're banished from this family forever."
Jimmy: "But but but..."
Dad: "But but but...SHUT UP!!! Get your elderly-assaulting ass out of my house!"

by Nicholas D May 23, 2008

ride on

To roll up on someone unannounced and give them a beat down or otherwise fuck them up.

Cornelius: "Dwight sure acted inappropriately at last night's party."
Jose: "For real? What did that motherfucker do, playa?"
Cornelius: "Well, when I was in the other room refilling my apple juice, I believe that he attempted to make sexual advances toward my lady friend."
Jose: "That's just fucked up."
Cornelius: "It is indeed. I must take retaliatory action of some sort."
Jose: "Fo' shizzle my nizzle. Let's ride on that fool, dogg."
Cornelius: "I concur that doing so would be the most appropriate course of action at this time."

by Nicholas D February 18, 2009

sandbag

(verb) To screw around or work on other things while you are supposed to be completing a task or working on something.

Bob looked to be a promising hire with his Princeton degree and impressive summer internships. But when his boss checked his internet use log, it was obvious Bob had been sandbagging up a storm: posting daily from work on his "Notorious B.O.B. in da hizzouse" blog and spending an inordinate amount of time on midgetporn.com.

by Nicholas D December 23, 2007

B&Ters

Short for "bridge and tunnelers." People who hang out in Manhattan but live elsewhere and come in on a bridge or tunnel. Generally have a trashy reputation among Manhattanites, but in reality can range from sketchy Jersey shore guido types to normal Brooklyn/Queens residents who didn't want to shell out $2000 a month for a closet-sized shithole in The Village. Surprisingly, most B&Ters are nothing like the guy in "My New Haircut." Still snobbier Manhattan residents usually stay away from bars/clubs frequented by the B&Ters.

Jersey shore guido: "Out of the way, broski. Me and my boys are ready to down some fuckin' Jager bombs. We're gonna get wasted and grind on every piece of pussy in this place. The bitches are gonna love my new haircut."
Roxbury bouncer: "This is the Roxbury. We wouldn't allow trashy B&Ters like you guys in this club even if you had Jessica Alba with you."
Jersey shore guido: "Not now chief, I'm in the fucking ZONE!" (tries to walk in, ends up in nearby dumpster)

by Nicholas D December 28, 2007

WSOBP

An acronym for the World Series of Beer Pong, the world's largest beer pong/beirut tournament, held in Las Vegas in January of every year. WSOBP I was held in January 2006 and WSOBP V is planned for January 2010. WSOBP IV in 2009 attracted over 400 teams and several C-list celebrities.

While some amateurs lament the short tables, clear cups, non-standard rules, use of water in some cups, and lack of an elbow rule at this event, the best teams in the world generally take the rules as they are and show up every year with the hopes of being crowned world champions and winning the cash prize, which was $10,000 at WSOBP I, $20,000 at WSOBP II, and $50,000 ever since.

Frat beirut champ: "Chauffeuring the Fat Kid won WSOBP III, but I saw the video on YouTube and they lean way across the table. Leaning is so weak. I would kick their asses in a game with an elbow rule."
WSOBP player: "No you wouldn't. They're much better than you on any table with any rules. If you play them, let me know, because I've got $100 that says they sink your last cup before you even get to your first re-rack."

by Nicholas D February 13, 2009

tell it to my pants pockets

A term that means that you're going to have to show me some money if you want me to do a favor for you. Used to elicit a bribe.

Jesse Jackson, Jr: "Governor Blagojevich, as you can see, I am by far the most qualified candidate to replace President-elect Obama in the U.S. Senate. I hope you will make the right decision."
Rod Blagojevich: "Yeah yeah whatever. Tell it to my pants pockets!"

by Nicholas D January 22, 2009