39 definition by me old fruity

what you say to someone who turns up to work ridiculously early, as everyone knows this sort of eager beaver behaviour would only be acceptable if you had actually shat the bed, were forced to get out of it, and had nothing better to do than come to work.
colleague not due to start work till 9 showing up at 8.15: good morning!
me: did you shit the bed?!
by me old fruity October 01, 2006

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someone who couldn't find their arse with both hands.
paris hilton, george w bush
by me old fruity August 03, 2005

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a turd that comes out your ass so fast that it disappears up the u-bend. u hear a big splash, but when u look in to the bowl, there's nothing there...
*splash* ooh sounded like a biggy! wa- heyyy? where did it go? damn spooky phantom turd!
by me old fruity September 08, 2005

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a trick employed by scientologists to try to scam you into taking their 'therapy' sessions at $400 a pop. here is a guide. beware:

1. First a scientologist will approach you, offering you a free stress test. you will know they are a scientologist, as they will have the staring, unblinking 'crazy eyes'. they will be very reluctant to take no for an answer.

2. if you do go with them, they will hook you up to an 'e meter'. they will ask you to think of some deeply troubling experience, and when the meter moves slightly, they will present this as evidence you need therapy.

3. you will end up paying $400 a session to have whats troubling you 'audited' (cleared) from your mind. but get this: whats troubling you is, apparently, the souls of murdered aliens (thetans) in your head. betcha didn't see that one coming eh?
i'm sick of these scientologists trying to jack my nads with their e meters
by me old fruity June 19, 2006

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1.Overplayed. starts as a good song, then gets played so mercilessly by sad dj's (think westwood) trying to be cool that u become so sick of the song u never want to hear it again.

1b. Song featured on every r'n'b compilation for the next 5 years. take a look in your local record store and you'll see what i'm on about
Blu cantrell and Sean Paul: 'Breathe', Beyonce: 'Crazy in Love', Nelly: 'Hot in Herre', Dre's: 'California Love' etc etc
by me old fruity August 02, 2005

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plant similar to cabbage, popular in southern US. served up with cornbread. mentioned in the movie 'Friday'
'you even trying to eat lobster and drink champagne?...you strictly a collard green corn bread baby, if anybody know, i know'- sample from lil' kim's 'came back for you'
by me old fruity October 06, 2005

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multicoloured marshmallows. good fillers for pick n mix as they don't weigh much.
peter kay: FUDGE?! FUDGE? i'm not made of money! check the weight of em before you put em in! flumps, thats what you want! flying saucers, have as many of them as you like!
by me old fruity August 03, 2005

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