Selfish Wanker

1) A person who is selfish and behaves like an idiot

2) A person who is greedy with their masturbatory habits. A selfish wanker will steal a communal porn collection, steal the only box of tissues remaining in the house, even steal a picture of your own dear mother to wank over. They care nothing for the feelings or masturbation plans of others. They will even turn up late to meetings and dates because of their five knuckle shuffling, but will never ever call and explain the delay. Wanking will always come first to these people. A truly selfish wanker will even prefer the touch of their own hairy palm to the touch of another human being.
Steven is a selfish wanker. He sent his girlfriend out to the strip club with his mates so that he could stay in and abuse himself alone.
by MagickDio September 04, 2010
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Wrands

When someone is so fat that their wrists and hands merge, this person has "wrands". Wrands usually have that fold of flesh, making it appear as if the person is wearing a meaty jumper. Cute on a baby, absolutely vile on an adult. Wrandy folk love pie, and are rarely seen without food of some kind, even though they insist their disgusting, morbid weight problem is "glandular"
"Sarah's mum has got raging wrands! Did you notice?"
"Yeah, I shuddered when she touched me"
by MagickDio March 07, 2010
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Fuckjobbing

1) Putting a large amount of effort into doing something badly. More often than not, unintentionally. People that are doing the fuck jobs rarely see their utter abortions as anything except works of art.

2) When you injure yourself spectacularly in an incredibly stupid fashion.
1) The men watched, transfixed. Even after their handy hints, Sheila continued fuckjobbing the Creosote and gazing appreciatively at the terrible mess.

2) Sorry I didn't text you back. It was due to me fuckjobbing my finger by poking the blades on my blender when it was plugged in.
by MagickDio July 06, 2011
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McFuck

1) Horny teenage couples in their droves flock to McDonald's for cheap, disgusting "food" every weekend. Sometimes, dipping the fries in those nasty little ketchup tubs gets too sexually suggestive for them, and they head off to the toilets to bang each other. They think it's risque, but almost everyone in McDonald's has no soul and no shame; their faces are deeply buried in greasy, supersized crap, so they barely notice the kids sneaking off for a McFuck.

2) McDonald's employees that are shagging at work are "McFucking". Presumably, the experience of being "Mcfucked" would lead to some serious "McShame", but as afore mentioned, those that spend large amounts of time in McDonald's have no souls, or personalities for that matter.
"Shall we go to McDonald's and get a McChicken Sandwich? We could sneak off for a quick McFuck too, if you wanna?"

"Norman and Shirley were McFucking at the end of last night's shift. I only noticed because I'm new here and still could go to heaven"
by MagickDio March 07, 2010
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Pussy Locking

Like cock blocked, but for ladies. When something's coming at you, it can be blocked....hence cock blocking. When something is denied access, it's locked out, hence pussy locking. It's a frustrating state, because it's imposed by others.

Male BFF's are usually the biggest culprits for pussy locking their female friends, because they secretly fancy them, and don't want them fucking anyone else but them. Ex boyfriends can also create a pretty unbreakable pussy lock if you happen to be partying in the same venue.
"Hey Suze, great night last night wasn't it?"
"No, it wasn't. You kept pussy locking me! I never cock block you! Why do you keep doing this to me?"
"Because I love you......."
(shocked look of absolute disgust)
"........as a friend."
by MagickDio April 24, 2010
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Fuckline

1) The ruined punchline of a joke.
2) The unfunny punchline of a long winded joke
3) The line written which makes no sense and ruins an essay/article/exam
4) The articulate and well thought out phrase which you perfcted in your head and then your mouth spandled the shit out of it, making you sound like you need medication
1) You are the linkest weak, goodbye!

2) You are the weakest link, goodbye!

3) "I failed! FAILED???!! But how??"
"There must be a fuckline in there somewhere."
4) "Oh yes, just like when you drithdrew all the cash and then flimmin'....whatever, yeah, but like YOU did it too, so whatever. Fuck you."

"Jesus, that was quite a fuckline."
by MagickDio November 07, 2012
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Crazy Time

There comes a point in an argument where your opponent runs out of logical material to use against you, yet refuses to conceed. This is the moment you enter Crazy Time. Men will recognise it as the part where women start yelling, through furious tears, about things that happened years previously, and putting a whole new spin on them, then telling the man exactly what he meant by what he said. Except it's rarely anything anyone would ever mean, or even think. Women will know it's Crazy Time when men start saying things like "I'm ending this argument right now!" and then continue bellowing about how it cannot be allowed to go on, and arguing over why it needs to be finished. Men can never finish an argument. They can only halt it "for now". The very same argument will be referenced and recommenced during the next period of Crazy Time.
Jennifer started to cry and shout at the same time, virtually incomprehensible wails about how last year, Doug HAD given her a funny look when she said hello to her ex, and that he had basically called her a whore when he commented on how nice it was that they were on speaking terms after all these years. It wasn't what he said, you understand, it was what he MEANT that made all the difference, and THAT is how Doug knew that they were in Crazy Time, yet again.
by MagickDio September 14, 2010
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