fuckallrounder

A cricketing term. Implies that a certain player is chosen as both a bowler and a batsman, but is consistently performing poorly.

Jeff is supposed to be able to bat and bowl, but he ain't good at either. He is a fuckallrounder

by laserswordofdeath +3 August 28, 2016

Deathkill

An act of badassery so severe that the term 'kill' does not do the action any justice. Usually inflicted upon more than one noob/victim. Popularised by the likes of Audie Murphy, Alvin Yorke and Simo Häyhä

"omglolwtf I just totally did a deathkill when I saw the six tanks and about two hundred soldiers approaching" - Direct quote from Audie Murphy after he held the Colmar Pocket by himself

by laserswordofdeath +3 September 08, 2016

Emojinal Breakdown

An emojinal breakdown occurs when a participant in a conversation uses an emoji totally unsuited or inappropriate to the discussion at hand. Usually would involve contrasting emotions and makes the author of the message appear like a total dick.

Dude 1: holy crap did you hear about the massacre at the school last week? 14 people dead! :-D :-D :-D :-D :-D

Dude 2: Dude seriously what the fuck?! You are LAUGHING about that?

Dude 1: Oh uhm. Was supposed to be the sad emoji. Sorry man. Was having an emojinal breakdown

by laserswordofdeath +3 November 04, 2017

Mommy Pee break

The time when kids get up to the craziest things, run amok and tear the house down. Usually happens when the mother has to relieve her bladder.
Can lead to rooms being destroyed and/or infanticide.

Candice: "Omfg! I was in the bathroom for ONE MINUTE! And when I came back, the plasma TV is broken on the floor, the ADSL cable had been chewed off, my two year old is covered in body cream, there is food on the ground and the dog is spraypainted green!"

Jacques: "Sounds like your standard Mommy Pee Break. Seriously, if the house was not set on fire and your kids are still in one piece, you count yourself lucky"

Candice: "What?! You think this is funny? WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I DO ALL DAY?

Jacques: "Calm down, it's okay, I'm..."

Candice: "DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN YOU SON OF A BITCH! I KNOW WHAT YOU DID WITH ELAINE!"

Jacques: "Wait, what, who told you?!"

Candice: "I FUCKING SAW YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!"

Jacques: ...

by laserswordofdeath +3 April 19, 2018

chocolate ball cheerleader

A person who deliberately wipes back to front

I love going down on my man, especially after a stomach bug. He is a real chocolate ball cheerleader - adds that little extra!

by laserswordofdeath +3 September 08, 2016

rug puncher

Someone who likes to do vaginal fisting

After giving natural birth to twins, Jenny's husband became a regular rug puncher

by laserswordofdeath +3 September 08, 2016

Poverty Weight Loss Plan

A strict non-eating plan based around the fact that you are broke, and losing weight as a result

Wow! Being underpaid sure has its benefits! I have lost six pounds this month due to the Poverty Weight Loss Plan! And the good news is, looking at my bank account, I can carry on until next payday!

by laserswordofdeath +3 September 08, 2016