laserswordofdeath +3's definitions

Stinky Raccoon

When a house guest leaves you a turd in the toilet bowl without flushing

I like having Jill over at my place, she may be the one. But today she left me a stinky raccoon for the second time this week and this gives me doubts over our relationship

by laserswordofdeath +3 September 8, 2016

fuckallrounder

A cricketing term. Implies that a certain player is chosen as both a bowler and a batsman, but is consistently performing poorly.

Jeff is supposed to be able to bat and bowl, but he ain't good at either. He is a fuckallrounder

by laserswordofdeath +3 August 28, 2016

chocolate ball cheerleader

A person who deliberately wipes back to front

I love going down on my man, especially after a stomach bug. He is a real chocolate ball cheerleader - adds that little extra!

by laserswordofdeath +3 September 8, 2016

zero or-g

An orgy in space, or to be more exact, any zero gravity area. Very common amongst visitors of the International Space Station

We flew up there on the shuttle and joined a week-long Zero or-G on the ISS. Those Russians sure know what makes an astronaut tick!

by laserswordofdeath +3 August 27, 2016

Mommy Pee break

The time when kids get up to the craziest things, run amok and tear the house down. Usually happens when the mother has to relieve her bladder.
Can lead to rooms being destroyed and/or infanticide.

Candice: "Omfg! I was in the bathroom for ONE MINUTE! And when I came back, the plasma TV is broken on the floor, the ADSL cable had been chewed off, my two year old is covered in body cream, there is food on the ground and the dog is spraypainted green!"

Jacques: "Sounds like your standard Mommy Pee Break. Seriously, if the house was not set on fire and your kids are still in one piece, you count yourself lucky"

Candice: "What?! You think this is funny? WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I DO ALL DAY?

Jacques: "Calm down, it's okay, I'm..."

Candice: "DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN YOU SON OF A BITCH! I KNOW WHAT YOU DID WITH ELAINE!"

Jacques: "Wait, what, who told you?!"

Candice: "I FUCKING SAW YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!"

Jacques: ...

by laserswordofdeath +3 April 19, 2018

chocolate ball teabag

Similar to the tamer, cleaner teabag, but involves your scrotum to be covered in shit

Tony gave me the ol' chocolate ball teabag yesterday. Was enjoyable and all, but I forgot to clean my face afterwards

by laserswordofdeath +3 September 8, 2016

Yahweh Three Way

Similar to a Joseph's Cuckold, the Yahweh Three Way is when the Christian deity decides to let his son be born through a woman on earth - a woman in a relationship where there are now three parties involved. Seen as either the cornerstone of Christianity, or blatant bullshit

I was shocked to find out my wife has been engaging in a Yahweh Three Way, without my knowledge. Some folks have been laughing behind my back, but it's okay... at least I will be the father of a demigod

by laserswordofdeath +3 September 8, 2016