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jrubadub's definitions

Spunk Handshake

When you either knowingly or accidentally shake someones hand with a stringy glob of spunk (sperm) attached to your hand.

The globule is then transferred to the person and they wipe it off in confusion. Usually they are too embarrassed to ask what it is but will often sniff it.
Pokey was spun out on cheap bath tub crank and furiously beat off into an oven mitt. He thought he got all of the jizz wiped up when he was done, but a little was left over on his hand.

Pokey then went to his dealer's house to shoot up and unknowingly gave him a spunk handshake.
by Jrubadub December 29, 2010
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wall-to-wall stank

to cover an entire room or area with a layer (sometimes visible) of noxious ass gas. The stank is literally wall to wall with no room for escape.
Gilbert sat around all day on Saturday smoking Oxy's and muscle relaxers, and doing a shit-ton of cough syrup.

He was palsied and couldn't even get up. He ordered a double anchovy pizza and washed it down with a Big Bear 40 o.z. malt liquor.

Between the drugs and shitty food he had major bubble-gut. He ripped ass, and the room was instantly wall-to-wall stank.
by jrubadub August 11, 2010
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Gastric Blast

A really greasy, deep, fart that comes directly from gastric stomach juices. Comes from eating really bad food or drinking really rot gut alcohol.

Before expulsion, your abdominal area feels like an obese Green Bay football fan is standing on your stomach with all his weight.

Pushing it out requires an extreme effort, and some people actually die trying. Once out, however, the victim feels better. The area then becomes instantly contaminated with a nauseating rotten garbage smell.
Gordon was getting ready to go out. He swilled a bottle of cough syrup and some Old Crow whiskey, and gobbled up six Oxys. Then he ate three cheeseburger pizzas and two bottles of picked eggs.

His stomach was gurgling. He got up from the recliner, struggled and pushed, and eventually a gastric blast followed by complete bowel movement. That was a rap for the day. So much for the job interview, he thought.
by Jrubadub February 4, 2012
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groeder

A huge, paint-peeling, moisturizing, jumbo sized dump. A large, steamy log (shit) of very solid shit.
Skyler took a huge groeder after eating 22 oyster shooters six ears of corn, and a huge plate of greasy refried beans.

Fontana squeezed out a massive 2 foot long groeder, and her boyfriend had to chop it up with a shovel to get it to flush. He also had to use oven cleaner to get the skid marks off the bowl.
by Jrubadub March 3, 2011
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flavr saver

a long patch of un-shaved hair under a males bottom lip. The idea is that the male eats something, the patch of hair is dragged through and saves the flavor for later. Also called soul patch.
Lone Wolf was partying with Vicky Eagle-Feather all weekend. They did a ton of crack together and got blasted off rubbing alcohol. That led to other shenanigans.

As Lone Wolf was pleasuring her, his flavr saver tickled her rim.
by jrubadub October 13, 2011
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Pudge Puss

An overweight woman with horrible eating habits and haggard hygiene. Often they can be spotted wearing large T-shirts with kittens on the front. They smell like old milk and have sweaty pit stains just from walking.

Pudge pusses can be found lurking in shitty casinos, buffets, or greasy trailer parks.
Morty: Man I am glad we made it to our 20 year high school reunion.

Reggie: I know. We can laugh at all the people that are totally fucked.

Morty: Did you see J.J. Martinson? His nose fell off from doing too much coke and Heather Z. is a total pudge puss from smoking Oxy's! She used to be hot but not anymore!

Reggie: I know, I wouldn't fuck her with your dick!
by Jrubadub August 1, 2010
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Rollin' Polish

When your driving and you roll the windows down in a car while having the heat turned up.
Gilbert and Mikey preferred to roll polish in the winter in Mikey's 82' Gremlin.

C-Ray thought that he would air the car out a little while getting road head by rollin' polish.
by Jrubadub July 25, 2010
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