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jrubadub's definitions

Coke Toe-Nail

A lengthened toe-nail used to inhale cocaine or other powdery substances.
Pokey was a fancy boy who favored nose candy. In the middle of a footski from Trixie, he demanded a toot of PowerWheels - a new mix of Colombian flake cocaine and bath-tub crank.

Trixie stopped and gracefully delivered the goods via her Coke Toe-Nail. Pokey was instantly greased off his ass.
by Jrubadub October 11, 2012
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Gastric Blast

A really greasy, deep, fart that comes directly from gastric stomach juices. Comes from eating really bad food or drinking really rot gut alcohol.

Before expulsion, your abdominal area feels like an obese Green Bay football fan is standing on your stomach with all his weight.

Pushing it out requires an extreme effort, and some people actually die trying. Once out, however, the victim feels better. The area then becomes instantly contaminated with a nauseating rotten garbage smell.
Gordon was getting ready to go out. He swilled a bottle of cough syrup and some Old Crow whiskey, and gobbled up six Oxys. Then he ate three cheeseburger pizzas and two bottles of picked eggs.

His stomach was gurgling. He got up from the recliner, struggled and pushed, and eventually a gastric blast followed by complete bowel movement. That was a rap for the day. So much for the job interview, he thought.
by Jrubadub February 4, 2012
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keystone brownout

A rancid, liquid bowel movement after drinking too many Keystone (or Stones for short). Usually starts with a Questionable Fart or two, followed by rumbly in the ole tummy.

Then, the victim experiences a few convulsions, perhaps even a full blown seizure. Then all hell breaks loose, with a violent powerful ass blast with the consistency of Spackle or paint. The victim then angrily vows never to drink Stones again, but usually succumbs later on.
Gordon stopped by his apartment to get just a little taste of some crack. He quickly freebased a few hits, gobbled a few Loratabs, and slammed 16 Keystone light beers.

He was eagerly anticipating the toga party with hot co-eds. He changed into his white toga and went on his way. About halfway to the party, he experienced a Keystone Brownout in the car and had to terminate his plans.
by Jrubadub March 27, 2012
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groeder

A huge, paint-peeling, moisturizing, jumbo sized dump. A large, steamy log (shit) of very solid shit.
Skyler took a huge groeder after eating 22 oyster shooters six ears of corn, and a huge plate of greasy refried beans.

Fontana squeezed out a massive 2 foot long groeder, and her boyfriend had to chop it up with a shovel to get it to flush. He also had to use oven cleaner to get the skid marks off the bowl.
by Jrubadub March 3, 2011
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Safety Tap

A slight tap (but often harder) during rough sexual intercourse role-playing to let your partner know you have had a little too much, or it's a little too rough.
Lance and Trixie were role playing "underground prison sex in Beirut."

Lance eased his hog into Trixie, who was tied up on a love swing. The 6 hits of liquid blotter acid he shot into his eye earlier got him going a little too much, and Trixie had to give him a safety tap to slow him down a little.
by Jrubadub August 5, 2011
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flavr saver

a long patch of un-shaved hair under a males bottom lip. The idea is that the male eats something, the patch of hair is dragged through and saves the flavor for later. Also called soul patch.
Lone Wolf was partying with Vicky Eagle-Feather all weekend. They did a ton of crack together and got blasted off rubbing alcohol. That led to other shenanigans.

As Lone Wolf was pleasuring her, his flavr saver tickled her rim.
by jrubadub October 13, 2011
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cauliflower cock

a relatively not serious medical condition otherwise known as genital warts, or HPV. Warty dick is a synonym. The term "cauliflower" comes from bumpy clumps of white warts on or around the genitalia area.
Gordon was on a six week, ether, sherms, and ecstasy fueled sex romp that made Charlie Sheen look like a cub scout. He woke up one morning and suddenly had a case of cauliflower cock.

He thought back to all the girls he slept with. From the greasy black chicken-heads to the 5 dollar Mexican illegals, he couldn't figure it out. Then it came to him - it had to be the twin Hungarian needle-freaks about 4 weeks back.
by Jrubadub November 3, 2011
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