ihatebuffering's definitions

pelican fucker

Anybody who works for BP or Exxon.

Tony Heyward is a pelican fucker and owes an infinite debt to society.

by ihatebuffering March 21, 2011

concert girlfriend

A girlfriend that acts really lame at events that her boyfriend brings her to. (Concerts, of course, are the most common event for this to occur at).

(At a Parkway Drive concert):
Lisa: Can we leave early? All this loud music is giving me a migraine and people keep bumping into me.
Tom: Ah, quit being such a concert girlfriend.

by ihatebuffering March 22, 2011

The Oyster

The act of a man pulling his balls out of the opening in the front of his boxers. This trick is closely related to The Turkey and the frog brain.

While usually done in front of friends as a joke, Larry sometimes performs The Oyster by himself for amusement.

by ihatebuffering January 21, 2011

shawshank desk

A school desk a teacher pieces together using a chair and a small table for the comfort of fat students. This references Andy Dufrene's use of scrap resources to accomplish goals in "The Shawshank Redemption".

Larry's belly was so big the edge of his old desk cut into it. So the teacher moved him to the shawshank desk, and now his belly has lots of room and he can focus on his schoolwork.

by ihatebuffering January 21, 2011

vexing

The act of texting somebody nonsensical, ambiguous things while drunk. Basically like drunk dial-ing somebody through text.

Omg, the room is spinongo, i dont even remember vexing you

by ihatebuffering January 21, 2011

Tweed Ring

The ring of remaining foreskin just below the head of the penis on the shaft.

Larry doesn't have a tweed ring because he is uncircumsized.

by ihatebuffering January 21, 2011

pterodactyl egg

A large hump on a fat person's upper back. It looks as though they are harboring a pterodactyl egg that could hatch out any minute.

Kristine's shirts had difficulty fitting because of her large pterodactyl egg.

by ihatebuffering March 22, 2011