28 definition by ihatebuffering

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A large, older van, typically brown or white in color, and often with tinted front windows and no windows in the back. Not all pedophile vans are used for the purpose of luring young children to kidnap with promises of candy or toys, but if somebody were to decide they wanted to do this, a pedophile van would be the perfect vehicle.
My friend just bought a total pedophile van. Either he is a rapist or has very poor choices in vehicles.
by ihatebuffering March 06, 2011

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Anybody who works for BP or Exxon.
Tony Heyward is a pelican fucker and owes an infinite debt to society.
by ihatebuffering March 05, 2011

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The act of, while wearing boxers, pulling up your flaccid penis so that only the head is sticking out, being held against your abdomen by the waistband of your boxers.
I did The Mongoose in the locker room today before football practice. My friends all shared in horrified laughter
by ihatebuffering January 19, 2011

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A nickname for the repulsive ass of one of your particularly large friends. Just pray you never see the eye. Nobody has ever seen its eye and lived to tell the tale.
Dude, put your pants back on, i don't want to sit here and look at The Kraken.
by ihatebuffering March 05, 2011

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The legs of a woman that have various noticible dimples due to the amount of cellulite.
That fat girl needs a different prom dress. Her cottage cheese legs are showing.
by ihatebuffering March 06, 2011

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A thin, weak, fine collection of hairs on the upper lip that is noticible but not technically thick enough to be considered a real moustache. They are usually found on pubescent boys aged 13 to 16 whose moms won't buy them razors.
Mom i know i'm only 14, but i seriously need a razor. I have a poopstache, for christ's sake!
by ihatebuffering March 06, 2011

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An older woman's ass that is rotund and full of cellulite dimples. When they sit down, the ass seems to squish and go all over the place, as if they were sitting on a pile of mashed potatoes.
My sixty-five year old teacher has a mashed potato ass. It is very distracting.
by ihatebuffering March 06, 2011

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