ihatebuffering's definitions

badger

A short, stocky, middle-aged white man, who is balding, and has graying hair and a moustache. If you tour the rural midwest, you will find tons of them. Their primary habits are hunting, drinking beer, driving pickup trucks, napping, and telling old football stories.

My dad is a badger, so i'm thinking of getting him a moustache trimmer and a case of bud light for his fiftieth birthday.

by ihatebuffering March 21, 2011

The Mongoose

The act of, while wearing boxers, pulling up your flaccid penis so that only the head is sticking out, being held against your abdomen by the waistband of your boxers.

I did The Mongoose in the locker room today before football practice. My friends all shared in horrified laughter

by ihatebuffering January 21, 2011

shawshank desk

A school desk a teacher pieces together using a chair and a small table for the comfort of fat students. This references Andy Dufrene's use of scrap resources to accomplish goals in "The Shawshank Redemption".

Larry's belly was so big the edge of his old desk cut into it. So the teacher moved him to the shawshank desk, and now his belly has lots of room and he can focus on his schoolwork.

by ihatebuffering January 21, 2011

vexing

The act of texting somebody nonsensical, ambiguous things while drunk. Basically like drunk dial-ing somebody through text.

Omg, the room is spinongo, i dont even remember vexing you

by ihatebuffering January 21, 2011

Tweed Ring

The ring of remaining foreskin just below the head of the penis on the shaft.

Larry doesn't have a tweed ring because he is uncircumsized.

by ihatebuffering January 21, 2011

chaw jaw

The noticible protrusion of one's lower jaw/lip when one has a large dip of chewing tobacco in.

Tom: I think Ray put in a dip of chew before class.
Rick: He'd better hope the teacher doesn't notice his chaw jaw.

by ihatebuffering March 22, 2011

pedophile van

A large, older van, typically brown or white in color, and often with tinted front windows and no windows in the back. Not all pedophile vans are used for the purpose of luring young children to kidnap with promises of candy or toys, but if somebody were to decide they wanted to do this, a pedophile van would be the perfect vehicle.

My friend just bought a total pedophile van. Either he is a rapist or has very poor choices in vehicles.

by ihatebuffering March 21, 2011