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iain1977's definitions

résumé

1. A résumé is a list of your qualifications, achievements, skills etc that you give to a prospective employer.

2. Tits.
1.
man I'll never get this job unless I lie on my résumé

2.
a: I saw you were interviewing for a new secretary yesterday - who the job job?
b: *sniggers* the one with the best résumé
by Iain1977 April 15, 2008
mugGet the résumémug.

CV

1. A Curriculum Vitae or resume is a list of your qualifications, achievements, skills etc that you give to a prospective employer.

2. Tits.
1.
man I'll never get this job unless I lie on my CV

2.
a: I saw you were interviewing for a new secretary yesterday - who the job job?
b: *sniggers* the one with the best CV
by Iain1977 April 15, 2008
mugGet the CVmug.

broken mirror

Anyone who looks in the mirror and sees someone/thing pretty damn amazing. Often this affects their views of their sexual partners as well. Unfortunatly this is usually completely untrue.

Someone who owns a broken mirror will often refuse to be wrong about anything.
1: I've just seen Chambers acting like he's the shit again!
2: WTF? He's short, fat, stupid, a liar and his new girlfriend's a fucking munter!
1: Dude - he must have one seriously broken mirror
by Iain1977 April 14, 2008
mugGet the broken mirrormug.

learning curve like a spirit level

Description of someone extremely slow to pick things up.
Jim's been losing at three-card monty for 3 hours now - damn he's got a learning curve like a spirit level!
by Iain1977 February 21, 2008
mugGet the learning curve like a spirit levelmug.

puniversity

A UK polytechnic which has recently been defined as a university. Usually offering non-degrees in media studies, criminology, psychology etc
Despite their offical University status nobody takes them, their degrees or their graduates seriously.
Examples include the Universities of Luton, Reading and East London.
Emmy's such a dumb bitch, she keeps going on about her degree and stuff but she went to the Puniversity of East London.

You need an IQ of at least 46 to get into a Puniversity

John was in a coma but still managed to get a place at a Puniversity
by Iain1977 December 19, 2007
mugGet the puniversitymug.

Bridgend

1. A shithole of a town in Wales. Famed for a rash of teenage suicides. Now used to describe anywhere that is so depressing that you'd sooner kill yourself than live there.

2. A term to define an Emo suicide due to then prevelance of teenage suicides in the less-than-lovely South Wales town.
1. I was so glad to get out of my first appartment - it was such a shit-tip that it made Bridgend look nice.

2.
Emo: "I'm not okay" by My Chemical Romance is all about me!
Normal person: Go pull a Bridgend you whiney emo-fuck!
by Iain1977 February 21, 2008
mugGet the Bridgendmug.

shuffler

Someone in a minimum wage job with no prospects. So-called because of the snail paced speed they shuffle from one task to another. The only time they move at any speed is when going to their breaks or leaving work. Usually employed in the cleaning and fast-food industries
*door 20 yards away is heard opening*
*2 minutes later*

A: I thought I heard that door open
B: Yeah I called for a cleaner, it'll be one of the shufflers, give it another minute or so
by Iain1977 February 22, 2008
mugGet the shufflermug.

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