12 definitions by Iain1977
The host of the BBC Radio 1's brekfast show, thinks of himself as "the saviour of radio one".
In reality he is an obese, unfunny, drunken, homophobic bully. He once offered to "break in" a girl who was 15 at the time. His show is staffed with sychophants whose job is to laugh at his painfully unfunny, scripted jokes and agree with everything he says despite its obvious idiocy.
To describe someone as a Chris Moyles means that they think that they are wonderful, handsome, clever and the life of the party when in fact they are about as popular as a rattlesnake in a lucky dip, the only reason people hang out with them is because they're rich.
He is paid in excess of £630k of taxpayers money meaning that the great british public are shelling out over a pound a second for his output (including the songs he plays, having been given a playlist as he's not allowed free reign)
In reality he is an obese, unfunny, drunken, homophobic bully. He once offered to "break in" a girl who was 15 at the time. His show is staffed with sychophants whose job is to laugh at his painfully unfunny, scripted jokes and agree with everything he says despite its obvious idiocy.
To describe someone as a Chris Moyles means that they think that they are wonderful, handsome, clever and the life of the party when in fact they are about as popular as a rattlesnake in a lucky dip, the only reason people hang out with them is because they're rich.
He is paid in excess of £630k of taxpayers money meaning that the great british public are shelling out over a pound a second for his output (including the songs he plays, having been given a playlist as he's not allowed free reign)
a: I heard Chris Moyles on the radio this morning
b: Whose jokes was he stealing this time?
a: Did you hear that cunt Moyles on radio this morning?
b: Yeah, what a fuckmonkey, even with a script and his sycophants he's about as funny as a busted colon
a: Did you see the 2008 Brits?
b: Yeah, that fucker Moyles fell flat on his face, or he would have if his stomach hadn't got in the way
b: Whose jokes was he stealing this time?
a: Did you hear that cunt Moyles on radio this morning?
b: Yeah, what a fuckmonkey, even with a script and his sycophants he's about as funny as a busted colon
a: Did you see the 2008 Brits?
b: Yeah, that fucker Moyles fell flat on his face, or he would have if his stomach hadn't got in the way
by Iain1977 May 2, 2008
1. A résumé is a list of your qualifications, achievements, skills etc that you give to a prospective employer.
2. Tits.
2. Tits.
1.
man I'll never get this job unless I lie on my résumé
2.
a: I saw you were interviewing for a new secretary yesterday - who the job job?
b: *sniggers* the one with the best résumé
man I'll never get this job unless I lie on my résumé
2.
a: I saw you were interviewing for a new secretary yesterday - who the job job?
b: *sniggers* the one with the best résumé
by Iain1977 April 15, 2008
1) A highly sexist UK term to describe a large number of females together
2) A large corporation that acts in a completely unethical manner
2) A large corporation that acts in a completely unethical manner
Dude, Jennifer's hen night is tomorrow - wanna go and check out the cuntglomeration when they've had a few drinks?
McDonalds, Tesco, Coca-Cola, Phillip Morris, British American Tobacco etc
McDonalds, Tesco, Coca-Cola, Phillip Morris, British American Tobacco etc
by Iain1977 January 29, 2008
Someone in a minimum wage job with no prospects. So-called because of the snail paced speed they shuffle from one task to another. The only time they move at any speed is when going to their breaks or leaving work. Usually employed in the cleaning and fast-food industries
*door 20 yards away is heard opening*
*2 minutes later*
A: I thought I heard that door open
B: Yeah I called for a cleaner, it'll be one of the shufflers, give it another minute or so
*2 minutes later*
A: I thought I heard that door open
B: Yeah I called for a cleaner, it'll be one of the shufflers, give it another minute or so
by Iain1977 February 22, 2008
Anyone who looks in the mirror and sees someone/thing pretty damn amazing. Often this affects their views of their sexual partners as well. Unfortunatly this is usually completely untrue.
Someone who owns a broken mirror will often refuse to be wrong about anything.
Someone who owns a broken mirror will often refuse to be wrong about anything.
1: I've just seen Chambers acting like he's the shit again!
2: WTF? He's short, fat, stupid, a liar and his new girlfriend's a fucking munter!
1: Dude - he must have one seriously broken mirror
2: WTF? He's short, fat, stupid, a liar and his new girlfriend's a fucking munter!
1: Dude - he must have one seriously broken mirror
by Iain1977 April 14, 2008
1. A Curriculum Vitae or resume is a list of your qualifications, achievements, skills etc that you give to a prospective employer.
2. Tits.
2. Tits.
1.
man I'll never get this job unless I lie on my CV
2.
a: I saw you were interviewing for a new secretary yesterday - who the job job?
b: *sniggers* the one with the best CV
man I'll never get this job unless I lie on my CV
2.
a: I saw you were interviewing for a new secretary yesterday - who the job job?
b: *sniggers* the one with the best CV
by Iain1977 April 15, 2008
A man who is going out with a lady who is considerably older than he is. So called because he can often be found servicing an old boiler.
That Ashton Kutcher he's a total gasman.
by Iain1977 March 26, 2007