hansonpaulsey's definitions

Freeload Party

Noun: A house party where in order to get in you have to either bring your own booze (BYOB) or pay the host to drink; usually done by trading off the rights to have a party at the host's house as long as he or she gets profit or free alcohol/substances in the process.

Antonym: Gatsby Party

"Hey dude, you want to hit up this party tonight? It's better than just sitting around here."
"I don't know, is there going to be alcohol?"
"Yeah dude! Well, no... Only if you bring it yourself or you pay someone to drink theirs."
"So you're saying it's a freeload party..."
"Yeeeaaah..."
"Then no, those are fucking lame."

by hansonpaulsey November 8, 2009

Future Fossil

Noun: A name usually assigned to someone who is old in age and close to becoming deceased somewhere in the near future.

"You see these new bills Obama is passing? I'm thinking we should've went with John McCain."
"Are you kidding? That future fossil would've been way passed gone by now."

by hansonpaulsey December 1, 2009

The Greatest Thing I've Never Seen

Phrase: Used sarcastically in reply after someone tells you a personal story that was overall stupid, uninteresting and hard to follow;

said in order to imply that the story would only be funny if you were there to witness/experience

Person 1: "... Then the girl was all like "At least I didn't do this and such!" and then I was like "No, you don't get it like that. It's like this you bitch! HAHA!" It was seriously so funny, like you have no idea!"
Person2: "Wow that is The Greatest Thing I've Never Seen."

by hansonpaulsey November 15, 2009

619

A threesome involving two sexual partners performing a 69 on one partner.

609 is the same as a 619, but with a more chubby partner in the middle.

"Last night, my girlfriend and I 69nd for the first time."
"Big deal. Last night, me, your girlfriend and your mom 619nd."

by hansonpaulsey February 13, 2010

A Snappy Cassy

For a girl to let out a vaginal flatulent or "quiff" into someone's mouth while they are asleep or unaware;

also known as a "Spicy Michael" when a guy farts into someone's mouth.

"Kayla gave a snappy cassy to her ex-boyfriend after he fell asleep at the party. He woke up humiliated, scarred, and possibly the most turned off by a girl he had ever been."

by Hansonpaulsey October 14, 2009

Wingmom

Noun: A mother in which will help her son get laid, usually at a bar or a large gathering. This method of bringing along a wingmom is much more rewarding because it comes off to women as a man being sensitive and a family-man rather than a future one-night stand;
exactly like a wingman, but it's your mom.

"I haven't gotten laid in forever. Luckily, I'm going out for some beers with my wingmom tonight."

by hansonpaulsey December 1, 2009

Fraker

Noun: A person who lies about everything in order to have someone never be able to get to know the real them; a freak liar; someone in a bar who uses a different alias in order to have a one night stand without ever having to hear from the person ever again.

"Damn dude, party last night was crazy. Ended up meeting this chick, telling her she was so perfect for me, I would just love to date her and get to know more about her. That way she let me fuck her without thinking it'd be a one nighter. But definitely not going to call that bitch."
"Well aren't you afraid that she'll call you or look you up and come to your house if you don't get back to her?"
"Haha nah dude, I was a fraker last night so it's straight."

by Hansonpaulsey October 11, 2009