hansonpaulsey's definitions

n00dz?

Noun: A question( proposing someone to send nude pictures) that is usually asked to seem "un-serious" or "sarcastic" to see if the person will in fact send nude pictures.
If answered with a yes, the proposer will then ask to see them.
If answered with a no, the proposer will then act as if they weren't being literal and quickly change the subject to avoid embarrassment.

Text message conversation:
Guy: "Sup girl?"
Girl: "Not much, just uploading some pictures."
Guy: "n00dz? ;"
Girl: "What am I, 14? I don't do that."
Guy: "Haha I know, I was kidding... anyway, how are you?"

by Hansonpaulsey October 12, 2009

Spanky

Noun: A slap someone endures across the face with a thinly sliced piece of meat; usually done with lunch meat or a patty of a fast food burger.

"Since Mike wouldn't shut up at the McDonald's drive-thru, I opened up his greasy McDouble and gave him a spanky."

by Hansonpaulsey October 12, 2009

Devil's Swirly

Noun: The act of repeatedly dunking a person's head into a toilet while/after they vomit; usually done to someone who is puking as a result to consuming too much alcohol.

"While Mike began puking into the toilet after being unaware of his alcohol consumption limits, Chris began giving him a devil's swirly."

by hansonpaulsey November 9, 2009

Ass Trash

Noun; After taking a shit and being unaware that you are out of toilet paper, your next best option is to search in the trash can next to you for any wiping material;

usually results in using:
-paper towels used previously to clean your sink
-toilet paper used to previously clean the top of the toothpaste
-previously used stridex pads
-previously used tampons wrapped up in toilet paper
-previously used tissues used to blow your nose
-the cardboard cylinder of the recently run-out toilet paper

"After eating chipotle, Mike rushed to the bathroom in order to drop his deuce. Afterwards, he realized that he was completely out of toilet paper. He then remembered his next best option: ass trash. Mike had to refer to wiping his ass with his mother's previously used vaginal pad.

by hansonpaulsey October 25, 2009

phantom specs

The act of attempting to adjust or move prescription glasses from your face after wearing them for a period of time and then switching to contacts.

"Man, I just cannot get used to these new contacts. I keep trying to move my "glasses" up on my face and then realizing they're not there."
"Sounds like you have a case of the phantom specs."

by hansonpaulsey January 27, 2010

A Spicy Michael

To let out a flatulent or "rip ass" into someone's mouth while they are asleep or unaware;

also known as a "Snappy Cassy" when a girl quiffs into someone's mouth.

"I gave Dillon a spicy michael after he passed out at the party."

by Hansonpaulsey October 14, 2009

Post-Ejaculation Revelation

(PERV)-Noun.

The period of time after a man has ejaculated where (for once) sex and women aren't on his mind and he suddenly has a clear thought process bringing in major epiphanies and supreme moments of clarity on life;
fyi: (these "PERVs" only last about a couple of minutes, or even seconds, which then after the idea of sex returns back to the brain.)

Alexander Graham Bell got into a huge argument with his girlfriend on his lack of communication skills since he supposedly didn't let her know that he was going to be home later than planned that night. This argument between them left her in a frustrated mood for the rest of the night which then resulted in her refusing to give him sex.

So after his girlfriend fell asleep, Alexander went to the outhouse in order to blow his load before going to bed. With his lack of communication skills still on his mind, he busted his nut which brought on a Post-Ejaculation Revelation:

"If I could have somehow communicated with my girlfriend from another location over some talking device... I could have gotten sex tonight! Yes, this idea is grand! I'll call it the telephone!"

The rest is history.

by hansonpaulsey November 8, 2009