hansonpaulsey's definitions

phantom specs

The act of attempting to adjust or move prescription glasses from your face after wearing them for a period of time and then switching to contacts.

"Man, I just cannot get used to these new contacts. I keep trying to move my "glasses" up on my face and then realizing they're not there."
"Sounds like you have a case of the phantom specs."

by hansonpaulsey January 27, 2010

Ghostjob

When an inexperienced girl attempts to give a handjob and she barely grabs onto the shaft resulting in barely any good feeling whatsoever.

Antonym: Gripjob

The only thing worse than a girl being a tease about giving you a handjob is a girl giving you a ghostjob.

by Hansonpaulsey October 11, 2009

GTL

Acronym for "Gym, Tan, Laundry"
-The essential components for a true Guido/Guidette to feel great and no doubt look great.

"GTL. Gym, tan, laundry. That's what it's all about."

by hansonpaulsey January 7, 2010

Echoling

Verb: After the act of attempting to hook up with a variety of girls at one setting and getting rejected, then the person will begin "echoling" or ridiculing the same girls in order to compensate for the humiliation of being rejected; the act of being outraged at a girl after her rejecting to hook up with you; "Sex Heckling"

After Michael was rejected by every girl at the party, he began echoling the girls by stealing money from the fat bitch, slapping the tall bitch in the face and then pushing the other girl down the stairs.

by Hansonpaulsey October 11, 2009

Wingmom

Noun: A mother in which will help her son get laid, usually at a bar or a large gathering. This method of bringing along a wingmom is much more rewarding because it comes off to women as a man being sensitive and a family-man rather than a future one-night stand;
exactly like a wingman, but it's your mom.

"I haven't gotten laid in forever. Luckily, I'm going out for some beers with my wingmom tonight."

by hansonpaulsey December 1, 2009

A Spicy Michael

To let out a flatulent or "rip ass" into someone's mouth while they are asleep or unaware;

also known as a "Snappy Cassy" when a girl quiffs into someone's mouth.

"I gave Dillon a spicy michael after he passed out at the party."

by Hansonpaulsey October 14, 2009

Post-Ejaculation Revelation

(PERV)-Noun.

The period of time after a man has ejaculated where (for once) sex and women aren't on his mind and he suddenly has a clear thought process bringing in major epiphanies and supreme moments of clarity on life;
fyi: (these "PERVs" only last about a couple of minutes, or even seconds, which then after the idea of sex returns back to the brain.)

Alexander Graham Bell got into a huge argument with his girlfriend on his lack of communication skills since he supposedly didn't let her know that he was going to be home later than planned that night. This argument between them left her in a frustrated mood for the rest of the night which then resulted in her refusing to give him sex.

So after his girlfriend fell asleep, Alexander went to the outhouse in order to blow his load before going to bed. With his lack of communication skills still on his mind, he busted his nut which brought on a Post-Ejaculation Revelation:

"If I could have somehow communicated with my girlfriend from another location over some talking device... I could have gotten sex tonight! Yes, this idea is grand! I'll call it the telephone!"

The rest is history.

by hansonpaulsey November 8, 2009