hansonpaulsey's definitions

Freeload Party

Noun: A house party where in order to get in you have to either bring your own booze (BYOB) or pay the host to drink; usually done by trading off the rights to have a party at the host's house as long as he or she gets profit or free alcohol/substances in the process.

Antonym: Gatsby Party

"Hey dude, you want to hit up this party tonight? It's better than just sitting around here."
"I don't know, is there going to be alcohol?"
"Yeah dude! Well, no... Only if you bring it yourself or you pay someone to drink theirs."
"So you're saying it's a freeload party..."
"Yeeeaaah..."
"Then no, those are fucking lame."

by hansonpaulsey November 8, 2009

Happy Wok

Noun: A chinese man's happy trail

American Teenager: "Dude, check out my epic happy trail!"
Chinese Teenager: "Check out my happy wok!"

by hansonpaulsey December 13, 2009

Bloom

Verb: The act of having explosive diarrhea and accidentally getting feces on your balls; the act of defecating on someone else's balls in order for them to be pleasured by the act.

"Damn. After that Chipotle we ate last night, I ended up accidentally blooming. My balls looked like they were dipped in chocolate."

"Sandy bloomed on my balls last night before sex. The warmth turned me on to no end."

by Hansonpaulsey October 14, 2009

Bowel Towel

Noun; After taking a shit and being unaware that you are out of toilet paper, your next best option is to use a towel conveniently hung near the toilet.

"After Michael dropped a deuce, his next best option was the bowel towel hanging next to the tub."

by hansonpaulsey December 27, 2009

Gripjob

When an overly-excited or inexperienced girl attempts to give you a handjob but then ends up choking your dick to the point that it almost isn't worth it anymore.

9th grader: "Dude did you get some friday night!?"
another 9th grader: "Yeah but the girl gave me a gripjob and now it hurts to piss."

by Hansonpaulsey October 11, 2009

Ghostjob

When an inexperienced girl attempts to give a handjob and she barely grabs onto the shaft resulting in barely any good feeling whatsoever.

Antonym: Gripjob

The only thing worse than a girl being a tease about giving you a handjob is a girl giving you a ghostjob.

by Hansonpaulsey October 11, 2009

GTL

Acronym for "Gym, Tan, Laundry"
-The essential components for a true Guido/Guidette to feel great and no doubt look great.

"GTL. Gym, tan, laundry. That's what it's all about."

by hansonpaulsey January 7, 2010