hansonpaulsey's definitions

Gatsby Party

Noun: A house party where all the alcohol and/or other substances are supplied by the host free-of-charge.

Antonym: Freeload Party

"Hey dude, you want to hit up this party tonight? It should be sick."
"Nah man, I don't have any money for booze."
"No worries, it's a gatsby party."
"Then hell yeuh!"

by hansonpaulsey November 8, 2009

Ghostjob

When an inexperienced girl attempts to give a handjob and she barely grabs onto the shaft resulting in barely any good feeling whatsoever.

Antonym: Gripjob

The only thing worse than a girl being a tease about giving you a handjob is a girl giving you a ghostjob.

by Hansonpaulsey October 11, 2009

Future Fossil

Noun: A name usually assigned to someone who is old in age and close to becoming deceased somewhere in the near future.

"You see these new bills Obama is passing? I'm thinking we should've went with John McCain."
"Are you kidding? That future fossil would've been way passed gone by now."

by hansonpaulsey December 1, 2009

Chocolate Milk

The sexual act of a man cumming into a woman's mouth after she gives head and immediately after the woman squirts chocolate syrup into her mouth, swishes it around, and then swallows.

Willy Wonka's gay lover used to adore drinking Willy's chocolate milk. But then his test results came back...

by Hansonpaulsey October 11, 2009

609

A threesome involving two sexual partners performing a 69 on one partner which is reasonably fat.

619 is the same as a 609, but with a skinny partner in the middle.

"The only fat guys that will ever get the chance to 609 are rich celebrities."

by hansonpaulsey February 13, 2010

Bowel Towel

Noun; After taking a shit and being unaware that you are out of toilet paper, your next best option is to use a towel conveniently hung near the toilet.

"After Michael dropped a deuce, his next best option was the bowel towel hanging next to the tub."

by hansonpaulsey December 27, 2009

Gripjob

When an overly-excited or inexperienced girl attempts to give you a handjob but then ends up choking your dick to the point that it almost isn't worth it anymore.

9th grader: "Dude did you get some friday night!?"
another 9th grader: "Yeah but the girl gave me a gripjob and now it hurts to piss."

by Hansonpaulsey October 11, 2009