hammer---;, hytham's definitions

Vastity Belt

A funny contraption that appeared in the mid-90s for the fat... did I just call you by the F-word? Sod me! You are 'overnormal', 'generously cut', 'horizontally-challenged', 'weight-challenged' and other non-sizist words that you'd use to bluff your way into my world you 'non-little' fatfuck! Any way, it's an electronic belt (like the old 'Chastity one, geddit?)... worn on the midriff and peeps when it stretches beyond a certain limit to curb weight-gain and control/ reduce it.

Fatist puns aside, I think that 'fat' is the worst insult you can call somebody with!

Overweight people now are pulling the bull with fat-flashing 'Fat Pride' bozotic marches, Net 'pornhography' or forumese like BHM (big handsome male) and BBW (big beautiful women a.k.a. 'women of size', 'obeausiful'!)! Get a Vastity Belt, y'all and stop opening the damn fridge's door ya lil' fps!

by hammer---;, hytham May 16, 2007

poorism

Poor-countries' tourism! Yes... double-flubble, fatfuck-ish Ugly American and European tourons take what has been called 'reality tours' in war-ravaged, piss-poor Third-World countries like Iraq, India, South Africa and Brazil to gawp at 'warscapes', shantytowns and poor people going about their everyday's measley lives!
See Counter Tourism, too.

'Poorism' and 'poorists' sound like some pro-poor, humanist philosophies made to benefit the poor and the underprivileged, but in reality it's you, richass Westerners getting your rocks off watching poor people live. Try to live with your own shitucopic lives you touronic fat filthy-rich fucks!

by hammer---;, hytham May 16, 2007

perimenopause

In adult women: a period of altered menstrual cycle of about 4 years before the onset of menopause.

9 out of 10 adult women experience perimenopause.

by hammer---;, hytham April 16, 2007

Baddiel's Syndrome

This weird syndrome is a rare form of constant 'fear' from having a panic attack!

Baddiel's Syndrome has nothing to do with that show on BSkyB with the same name.

by hammer---;, hytham April 20, 2007

flairing

The art of joggling barware, bar tools and drink bottles performed by master cocktailians and molecular mixologists.

A virginified try at flairing may end in embarrasing -- and sometimes dangerous -- results!

by hammer---;, hytham June 6, 2007

testicularities

Testicular + peculiarities : cockup stuff males never admit as wrongdoing! And just go blame it on their male hormonal make-up... , y'know?

I liked that word so much, I searched my 'wordrobe' for more and here's what I found (you'll be gobshite-smacked!):
-MACHOs: males acting childish, hormonal and obnoxious!
-egotesticles: egotistical testicles! HAHA!
-testyria: testicular hysteria!
-testosterone-poisoning: an excuse whenever you miss up stuff so bad!
-MAS: male-answer syndrome, or 'manswer'... is the tendency for a male to come up fast with a random answer even if he has zip idea what's he talking about, fueled by testosterone!

Testicularities? Heh, you telling me? Blame it on the T!

by hammer---;, hytham April 16, 2007

bean jockey

A coffee-bar barista, or waitron, serving coffee for the regular caffiend and 'foams' for foamers.

Bean Jockey is one gender-neutral definition for waiters. Other interesting defs that's been coined lately is dub-dubs: Waiter/ Waitresses or w/ws.

by hammer---;, hytham May 15, 2007