hammer---;, hytham's definitions

pastel princess

A male who wears makeup. Yes! You heard that right, metros (metrosexuals) have endless ways to display their 'gay vague' attitude by wearing 'guyliner' (guy eyeliner), or just wear 'natural make-up' (be it bronzing or mere 'facercize' to have better looks!) and aren't ashamed -- as most metrosexuals are! -- to refer to themselves as 'guy chicks', or 'mirls' (men girls)!
The average PP can be spotted at 'podules' (men beauty salons that provide hair-care, facials and massage services in designated personal booths), or at high-end organic salons that cater for its growing male customership.

Metrosexuality has given us a large lexical inheritance that , usually slips the 'gendar' (gender radar): 'Mandex', are *ahem* spandex that males can wear! 'Manties' are male panties! Hell! And if that's not insult enough for us males, then here's a 'mansserrier' (man brassier) for you moobies (man boobies)! 'Mangs' (male bags, also known as 'murses': male purses) for your shoulders! And you are set and ready to go metro-ing your gayass across town!

Metrosexual males are also known as hermaphrodudes (hermaphrodite dudues)/ homme fatales (the male version of femme fatale!)/ 'strays' (straight gays!).

The latest in an ever-growing trend of gender-flexing metrosexuality, the pastel princess is an image-weary male who has 'his' own mindset about what makes a man... a man! Not my 'mang', oops! bag!

by hammer---;, hytham April 16, 2007

Dolly Parton wine

"Full-bodied at the front, but bad in taste!"

Dolly Parton wines are dime-a-dozen, and just like the cheesbutt 'cuntry' singer... they are signs of nouveau-riche blandoise.

by hammer---;, hytham June 1, 2007

cowboy caviar

Montana's Tendergroin steakmeat, for the hicksvillians!

Cowboy caviar is a pun on what countrypolitans flash as their new-found riches!

by hammer---;, hytham May 16, 2007

sproutarian

One who eats young 1 week green shoots (called 'micro-greens'), because it's believed that these green shoots are rich with bioavailable phyto-nutrient chemicals that has anti-ageing properties, prevent cancer, blah blah blah...

Sproutarians add 'microherbs' to their diet, like chickpea shoots.

by hammer---;, hytham May 17, 2007

Messi-fi

Messianic science-fiction: literary genre that takes the 'End-of-The-World' themes and other Christianity-related adventures to dramatic 'literaritainment' levels!
It started with some innocent children literature works by C. S. Lewis (notabily The Chronicles of Narnia) and now is on the rise commercially in Messiah-hungry Israel!

A close 'realtive' to Messi-fi is what has been called the 'Brownsploitaion' of modern fiction in America: dime-a-dozen 'mystical' conspiracy-theory books that deal with complicated, enigma-unscrewing plots and other bull-consumed matters.

by hammer---;, hytham April 25, 2007

haute dogs

'Haute hotdogs': hotdogs/ chilidogs that have exotic mix ingredients (e.g. nuts, raisins).

New products marketed as massclusives, like haute dogs are for the experience consumer.

by hammer---;, hytham May 16, 2007

coffeeshop intellectualist

Part of the stupid 'public intellectualism' movement of poets and artentainers, who perform in Starbucks™ Cafes.
Also called starbuckism/ starbucking.
See also, beauty shop Nagel.

Guitar-wielding fake coffeeshop intellectualists come and play their ditties at Starbucks, Abdoun and Boooks@Cafe coffeeshops in Amman all with an air of put-on knowledge of 'cords' and fretboard theatrics, while they haven't got the first molecule of taste. They should at least buy good gits and read some good poetry.

by hammer---;, hytham May 16, 2007