one that has mastered the art of wallet fumbling, a stingy person or one that will pinch a penny until POTUS 1-6 is squealing like a little girl
I can be a little tight with a buck. Well, “little” may be somewhat misleading. Ok, ok, I've got my black belt in skinflint. I'm the miser master, the Chuck Norris of Cheap and in my spare time, I like to jam with my band, Penny Pinscher and the Tightwads. Seriously, I play a mean frugal horn.
Buy a
Chuck Norris of Cheap
mug!
a person with horrendously smelly farts (as he floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee. This is derived from “Cassius Clay” which is the birth name of the famed boxer Muhammad Ali.)
"SWEET MOTHER OF GOD!!! What is that smell? Whoa, you’re a regular Gaseous Clay. Alright, I throw in the towel. Now help me back on my feet, would ya?"
a condition whereby a male celebrity is so burned out from all the fawning attention that he no longer receives any stimulation from a bikini model slipping her room key into his pocket
Bouncer: Johnny, nice set.
Rockstar: Thank’s, man.
Bouncer: By the way, that hottie in the front row wanted me to give you her phone number.
Rockstar: Nah, you keep it. I think I’m stuck in a slut glut rut.
Come with me, follow me (A “Flivver” was one of the slang terms for a Ford Model T but over time the usage grew to encompass all makes and model cars. Drafting is a term used in racing whereby one car would pull up right behind the car in front. If the rear car can stay in the slipstream of the other car then he/she could maintain the same high speed but also reduce his/her fuel consumption which results in fewer pit stops.)
Usage:
"I gotta squat for a jiffy wiz in The Gran Manzana and I've been head sparkin’ ‘bout pounding that Coney fillet in a twee fire-in-the-hole.
The dewclaws are up. Ya wanna draft my flivver?
Bang the pipes by 5:00 or hold peace.”
Translation:
"I’ve got a layover in New York City and was thinking about getting a hotdog in a quaint restaurant.
I’m enthusiastic. Do you want to come along?
Call me by 5:00 or it will be too late."
Buy a
Draft My Flivver
mug!
A perfect girl is the same as a regular girl but with equal parts sweet and dry vermouth (a martini typically uses dry vermouth and a Manhattan typically uses the sweet but the perfect Manhattan or perfect martini uses both).
Girl: I’m here. I got the vermouth but I didn’t know if you were making martinis or Manhattans so I picked up a bottle of each.
Boyfriend: Well aren’t you the perfect girl.
Show of approval, Thumbs Up (as the dewclaws of a canine are essentially their thumbs). This is a subtle variation of “Dewclaws Up”.
Dude: Scope those curvacious maidens. I’ll pounce the coal top with the bouncing betties. What’s your ruling on the blonde?
Wingman: The dewclaws are up.
Buy a
Dewclaws are Up
mug!
Thinking (as in the firing of neurons)
Usage:
"I gotta squat for a jiffy wiz in The Gran Manzana and I've been head sparkin’ ‘bout pounding that Coney fillet in a twee fire-in-the-hole.
The dewclaws are up. Ya wanna draft my flivver?
Bang the pipes by 5:00 or hold peace.”
Translation:
"I’ve got a layover in New York City and was thinking about getting a hotdog in a quaint restaurant.
I’m enthusiastic. Do you want to come along?
Call me by 5:00 or it will be too late."
