41 definitions by goose_on_a_roof
a large set of women’s breasts that perform a lively mating dance with the eyes of every man whos body is coursing with testosterone (A man need not be in eye-shot of such a spectacle to be effected as his...ur, umm…”divining rod” points the way like a compass to magnetic north.)
Dude: Scope those curvacious maidens. I’ll pounce the coal top with the bouncing betties. What’s your ruling on the blonde?
Wingman: The dewclaws are up.
Wingman: The dewclaws are up.
by goose_on_a_roof October 16, 2020
a man’s hairstyle that is bald on the top but with long stringy hair hanging over the collar in the back (elderhostel up front, party in the back)
This is a modification of the 80’s mullet. It is worn by the diehard that refuses to give up the long hair that he sported back in high school.
This is a modification of the 80’s mullet. It is worn by the diehard that refuses to give up the long hair that he sported back in high school.
Bob: Did you see Jim Rickards on Fox Business talking about the demise of the US Dollar?
Dave: Is that the guy with the waning mullet?
Bob: Yeah, that’s him.
Dave: Is that the guy with the waning mullet?
Bob: Yeah, that’s him.
by goose_on_a_roof December 31, 2021
A perfect girl is the same as a regular girl but with equal parts sweet and dry vermouth (a martini typically uses dry vermouth and a Manhattan typically uses the sweet but the perfect Manhattan or perfect martini uses both).
Girl: I’m here. I got the vermouth but I didn’t know if you were making martinis or Manhattans so I picked up a bottle of each.
Boyfriend: Well aren’t you the perfect girl.
Boyfriend: Well aren’t you the perfect girl.
by goose_on_a_roof October 11, 2020
past tense form of the verb “snork” which means to spit a jackfruit seed into a tuba from the balcony of the Metropolitan Opera (Needless to say, this term doesn’t see a whole lot of foot traffic.)
It was ‘96 when a crazy Aussie from Poowong North, Vic was challenged by his mates to spit a melon seed into a tuba from the balcony of the Metropolitan Opera on his upcoming junket to NYC. After practicing for weeks, spitting into a bucket from a eucalyptus tree, he asked for one allowance. The melon seed didn’t have sufficient heft to go the estimated distance. He was granted the use of a jackfruit seed. He then honed his skill until he had the precision of a sniper, “one shot, one kill”. On the night of the event, he and his wife (referee) took their seats nearest the stage on the third balcony. He sat through Giordano’s “Andrea Chenier” biding his time, waiting for just the right moment to do the deed and slink off into the night without being caught. The moment came at the very end of the performance when the audience cheered in appreciation for the talents of Pavarotti. He hurled that jackfruit seed with all the power he could generate from his manbag and then doubled over in a feigned hacking fit to disguise his action while his wife followed it to its intended target…and bingo! There have been no other “known” attempts. “Snorking” was never used until his triumphant return to Poowong North when one of his mates coined the term while fumbling through a toast in his honor.
It was ‘96 when a crazy Aussie from Poowong North, Vic was challenged by his mates to spit a melon seed into a tuba from the balcony of the Metropolitan Opera on his upcoming junket to NYC. After practicing for weeks, spitting into a bucket from a eucalyptus tree, he asked for one allowance. The melon seed didn’t have sufficient heft to go the estimated distance. He was granted the use of a jackfruit seed. He then honed his skill until he had the precision of a sniper, “one shot, one kill”. On the night of the event, he and his wife (referee) took their seats nearest the stage on the third balcony. He sat through Giordano’s “Andrea Chenier” biding his time, waiting for just the right moment to do the deed and slink off into the night without being caught. The moment came at the very end of the performance when the audience cheered in appreciation for the talents of Pavarotti. He hurled that jackfruit seed with all the power he could generate from his manbag and then doubled over in a feigned hacking fit to disguise his action while his wife followed it to its intended target…and bingo! There have been no other “known” attempts. “Snorking” was never used until his triumphant return to Poowong North when one of his mates coined the term while fumbling through a toast in his honor.
Orchestra member: Say, Bob…I noticed that you missed that high note in the last stanza.
Bob: Yeah, I got snorked again.
Bob: Yeah, I got snorked again.
by goose_on_a_roof October 14, 2022
The goose droppings that dry up and fall off the soles of your hiking boots after a walk in the field.
by goose_on_a_roof April 17, 2012
a person with horrendously smelly farts (as he floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee. This is derived from “Cassius Clay” which is the birth name of the famed boxer Muhammad Ali.)
"SWEET MOTHER OF GOD!!! What is that smell? Whoa, you’re a regular Gaseous Clay. Alright, I throw in the towel. Now help me back on my feet, would ya?"
by goose_on_a_roof October 11, 2020
one that has mastered the art of wallet fumbling, a stingy person or one that will pinch a penny until POTUS 1-6 is squealing like a little girl
I can be a little tight with a buck. Well, “little” may be somewhat misleading. Ok, ok, I've got my black belt in skinflint. I'm the miser master, the Chuck Norris of Cheap and in my spare time, I like to jam with my band, Penny Pinscher and the Tightwads. Seriously, I play a mean frugal horn.
by goose_on_a_roof October 19, 2020