gnostic3's definitions

slobberate

v. To drool excessively. Often in relation to sexual expectation rather than gastronomic hunger.

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You may want to step back a little, Honey. I am beginning to slobberate like a house on fire.

You realise your metaphors make no sense at all. Right?

by gnostic3 January 7, 2023

wet dreams

n. Sarcastic name for any garish, expensive, unneeded water features added to your home to cause endless plumbing trouble while adding a taint of both relaxing arty decoration and carcinogenic black mould.

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Dude! Haven't seen you at the skate park lately. What up?

Been having trouble with my wet dreams again. You got any extra towels I could borrow?

Whoa. Respect.

by gnostic3 June 5, 2017

Ukelear Winter

n. Bleak post-apocalyptic future facing Northern Europe if madmen continue to pursue war.

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Feel that evil in the air? It is the approach of ukelear winter.

by gnostic3 February 28, 2022

offside trap

n. Defensive technique in soccer wherein the defenders closest to their own goal line all move simultaneously toward their opponents goal line just before an opponent boots the ball downfield. The object is to deliberately place any possible recipients of the pass in an offside position, and to allow soccer enthusiasts, who love to have their enjoyment interrupted by questions, the opportunity to again attempt to educate hockey fans on the nuances of the beautiful game.

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Why did the whistle blow? He was totally in the clear!

Offside trap. Again. Look, get me some crayons and I’ll try to explain it in simpler terms.

by gnostic3 July 5, 2019

poopocalypse

n. Catastrophic spillage of feces. Often involves splatters on walls and ceilings during diaper changes and results in liberal swearing, heavy drinking, vows of celibacy etc.

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Go to sleep Delano. Mommy is going to drink wine until she forgets your latest poopocalypse.

by gnostic3 March 7, 2015

dwank

adj. Totally incoherent due to a lack of sleep.

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You should not be doing heart surgery when you are dwank:; nor should you be running the country.

by gnostic3 November 21, 2019

rockwall

n. Any ludicrously difficult hike or other task, that you have accomplished with ease. Often dropped into conversations as a thinly veiled form of bragging.

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Bike New York to Montreal in two days? It’s no rockwall. So yeah. I could get ‘er done.

by gnostic3 August 25, 2022