gnostic3's definitions

ICEikill

n. Chilling stony stalactite of power, injustice and betrayal dripping blood onto the sidewalks of America.

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Recently I spent the day with my tongue frozen to an ICEikill;: it was pointless and horrible. But if we all bind our tongues together we can melt the frozen spear and put some warmth in the heart of the beast that has captured our nation.

I hope that’s some twisted metaphor for singing Bruce.

by gnostic3 February 9, 2026

snowbawl

V. To cry copiously after getting hit smack in the face by a big cold juicy ice ball, or, I’m my sister’s case a tiny fluffy snowball meant as a joke that barely touched her, she is such a whiner, don’t listen to her Ma.

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Does your kid snowbawl every time the ICE agents pelt her? Must be because of the rocks inside.

by gnostic3 February 9, 2026

ICEcastle

n. Securely constructed fortress with moat and portcullis (or modern equivalents) and a dungeon straight out of a fairy tale where interlopers in the kingdom can be deprived of food, warmth, legal rights and fingernails by an abusive king or baron bewitched by an evil stepwife.

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All the screaming from the ICEcastle is in a foreign language;: so I really don’t care.

by gnostic3 February 9, 2026

ICEcapades

n. Enthusiastic mix of seasoned and rookie ICE dance performers creating magical set-pieces with a touch of improv and a soupçon of mayhem on a frigid urban stage imbued with a palette of snow white, pepper orange and blood red. Plenty of audience participation and an atmosphere of sensory overload not seen since kristallnacht.

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Did you hear? The ICEcapades are coming to town! Free admission but bring your passport or a toothbrush.

by gnostic3 February 6, 2026

ICE dancing

v. Olympic demonstration sport in which a determined cadre of enthusiastic but unorganized amateurs encounter superbly outfitted but inept and overzealous troops. Somewhere between terpsichorean performance art and rugby but with more pepper spraying.

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TV tonight looks like a choice between a biathlon and ICE dancing. What’s your preference?

You know me. I’ll take the one with the most gunfire.

by gnostic3 February 6, 2026

skaterbuoy

n. Useless hockey player who essentially acts as a stationary marker or obstruction that the more able athletes must skate around. Often from places like Perth, in Australia.

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Tell the skaterbuoy to amble a foot closer to the net. Avril wants to bank the puck in off his head.

by gnostic3 February 6, 2026

icemelt turmoil

n. Chaotic springtime movement of people and vehicles across sidewalks and roadways covered in layers of slush and ice with varying degrees of slipperiness.

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Hang about Fred. You’ll want to get a giggle out of this icemelt turmoil before we get out the stretchers and cart away some of the broken hipsters.

by gnostic3 February 5, 2026