pavement special

Mongrel.

A dog with no discernible breed characteristics. Pavement specials make much better pets that pussy-ass pedigree dogs.
Steve: What breed is Bowser?
Dave: Pavement special.
by George McBob April 29, 2009
mugGet the pavement specialmug.

Telkom

After the ANC, Telkom is South Africa's largest crime syndicate.

Their modus operandi is to force other companies into selling their products for them under duress, extort ungodly fees out of their customers, particularly on ADSL lines, with broadband prices 10 times or more than overseas, and up to 100 times more on leased lines.

They resort to thuggery and intimidation such as sending technicians to disconnect you for no reason, charging you for non-existent calls and unexplained tariffs and staffing their call centres with retarded unionised sociopaths.

Their main partners in crime are Eskom and Sasol.
It's a proven fact that if you fly 1st class to Hong Kong, stay in a 5 star hotel, buy a laptop, download 100GB onto it and fly back, it will be both QUICKER and CHEAPER than if you stayed in SA and downloaded it on a Telkom line.
by George McBob May 21, 2009
mugGet the Telkommug.

flat dog

Look at all the flat dogs on the riverbank.

The Zambezi is infested with flatties.
by George McBob May 11, 2009
mugGet the flat dogmug.

cafcebo effect

The phenomenon by which decaf can actually keep you awake, but only if you don't know it's decaf.
The cafcebo effect is a medical mystery.
by George McBob May 17, 2009
mugGet the cafcebo effectmug.

Eskom

The worst electricity company in the entire world. Situated in South Africa. The only company in the world whose adverts request consumers to actually use LESS of their product.

They have just increased their tariffs by 34%! They cause continuous blackouts, and their biggest stroke of genius yet has been the "load shedding" system in which they switched off the power to some areas on purpose (and never kept to their own load shedding schedule anyway) and eventually led to one substation in Kempton Park blowing up because it was never designed to be switched on and off repeatedly.

They have no clue as to how their own infrastructure works, because they have fired all of their experienced white engineers to replace them with inexperienced affirmative action employees who would take years to learn how to do the job properly even if Eskom management could be bothered to train them.

Thanks to their bungling, the few power stations that do actually work properly can't be run at full capacity because the national grid is in such a shocking state of disrepair. Koeberg nuclear power station is never running more than tree of it's four reactors at any one time and almost all of their profit goes into Mercs, BMWs and 400% bonuses for their managers rather than new infrastructure.
A Metallica concert in Cape Town started an hour late because of a blackout. The crowd started chanting "Eskom! Eskom! Eskom!"
by George McBob May 21, 2009
mugGet the Eskommug.

Eleventh Commandment

The Ten Commandments:

Thou shalt have no other gods before me
Thou shalt not make for yourself an idol
Thou shalt not make wrongful use of the name of your God
Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy
Thou shalt honor your father and mother
Thou shalt not murder
Thou shalt not commit adultery
Thou shalt not steal
Thou shalt not bear false witness
Thou shalt not covet

The Eleventh Commandment (the most important one)

Thou shalt not get caught.
by George McBob August 31, 2009
mugGet the Eleventh Commandmentmug.

penis

The word that has more synonyms than any other word in the English language
A small selection of the synonyms for "penis":

adder
baby-maker
banana
bazooka
bell-end
bell on a pole
big boy
bishop
beef
beef whistle
boerewors
boerie
boomslang
burrito
bratwurst
cannon
choad
chopper
club
cock
cum shooter
custard launcher
dagger
dick
dickie
ding dong
dog head
dolphin
dong
donger
dork
dragon
drill bit
eggroll
enchilada
fang
fence post
ferret
fire hose
flagpole
frank (& beans)
fuck rod
groin ferret
heat-seeking missile
hose
hog
jackhammer
Jimmy
John
Johnson
John Thomas
joystick
kickstand
knob
krull the warrior king
leaky hose
lingam
little Bob
little Elvis
little guy
lizard (as in "drain the...")
longfellow
Long John
love muscle
luigi
major general
manhood
meat cigar
meat injection
meat popsicle
meat stick
member
meneer
middle stump
mini me
monkey
mushroom head
mutton
noodle
old boy
old fellow
old man
one-eyed snake
one-eyed trouser-snake (Australia, UK)
one-eyed monster
one-eyed yogurt slinger
pecker
peel
peepee (children's term)
percy
peter
phallus
piece
piston
plug
pole
pork sword
prick
princess sophia
private eye
private part
pump-action shotgun
purple-helmeted warrior
purple-headed yogurt flinger
rocket
rod
rod of pleasure
roundhead
sausage
sceptre
schlong
schmuck, shmuck (Yiddish)
schwanz
schwarz
sergeant major
serpent
shaft
short arm
skin flute
snake
soldier
sperminator
springroll
stick
sword
tadger
tallywhacker
tassle
third leg
thumper
thunderbird
toadstool
todger
tonk
tool
trouser snake
tubesteak
twig (& berries)
vein
wang
wang doodle
weasel
wedding tackle
weeny
weiner
wick
willy (children's term)
winky
wing dang doodle
yingyang
yogurt gun
by George McBob September 07, 2009
mugGet the penismug.