gary vitalis's definitions

ADHD

ADHD is an impulse control disorder typcially aggravated by inconsistent parenting. Most children with severe cases of ADHD come from households where parents set little if any limits especially in regard to technology such as the Internet and video games.

Parents of children with ADHD always count to three before they unplug the computer.

by Gary Vitalis February 25, 2007

Blue Jean Baptist

A youthful evangelical, usually with a goatee, who espouses the "come as you are" mentality in churches. These guys are near fascists when it comes to their belief that a necktie will block God's power. In other words, if you wear a suit to church you will burn in Hell. These guys can be seen wearing tight jeans and untucked shirts to church and like to carry a guitar in their Chevy truck as to not appear unhip with the luscious little honeys that he wants to fondle when his wife is at the Baptist Ladies’ Bible Study/Lunches.

Mike beat an old man with a baseball bat today for shaving before coming to chuch. He is a militant Blue Jean Baptist.

by Gary Vitalis August 27, 2008

Che Guevara

This cat fought for the "liberation" of Cuba from tyrants while in fact he helped put in place an even bigger tyrant by the name of Fidel "no more toilet paper for our shitty island" Castro. This "freedom fighter" is 40 percent to blame for the slaughter of innoncent industrialists who sought to make the best of the island's natural resources and keep the savages at bay.

I bet his beard is a hit in Hell where he is burning for eternity with all Amway salespeople and Johnny Carson.

If Charlton Heston had sex with one of the monkeys on "Planet of the Apes" his offspring would have looked like Che Guevara.

by Gary Vitalis August 18, 2009

trailer park Corvette

A trailer park Corvette is a late 1970's to early 1980's Pontiac Firebird or Chevrolet Camaro. These are the most undesirable years for these vehicles hence they make a very cheap addition even to a household with the most fincancial mismanagement, aka white trash welfare sponges. If these fine examples of American technology actually crank, they will typically run on 6 of 8 cylinders. Don't expect to find a catalytic convertor on these straight-piped beauties.

Billy Hutto just bought himself a 1982 'bird. It smokes like a crack whore at a Baptist convention and the title is questionable at best. He sure has a fine trailer park Corvette. It's a shame that his kids won't get to enjoy since DHR took them away. He seemed to think that Lucas motor oil treatment was more important than shoes for school.

by Gary Vitalis February 1, 2007

eBayUI

eBayUI refers to the tendency of certain eBay members to drink large quantities of Pabst Blue Ribbon mixed with anti-depressants such as Lexapro and then go on a bidding frenzy. Very quickly mundane and useless items become the must have item of the year. After a brief black out period the individual then wonders how the hell he is going to pay for all of it.

What the hell I am going to do with 35 vacuum cleaner belts, a penis pump, and a King James Bible with Jesus' words in red? I must have been bidding whie eBayUI.

by Gary Vitalis October 10, 2008

Yo Gabba Gabba

This is a trippy little show that Satan watches when his old lady is off at Amway conventions. It teaches children that all can be resolved through dancing and whining a saying I'm sorry cures cancer. This show uses public funds to support out of work hip hop artists such as Biz Markie.

Hey Yo, Is that Biz Markie? Hell ya...Yo Gabba Gabba that mutha fucka needs to use Crest White Strips...

by Gary Vitalis June 20, 2009

Bustin' a Sag for Jesus

Any desperate attempt by middle aged Evangelical youth pastors to appear hip in order to reach young Christians. Generally speaking these individuals wear baggy pants, Birkenstocks, goatees, and, on ocassion, may even have piercings. Their hairstyles are typcially what homosexuals wore 10 years ago...They usually ramble on about Generation Y and use the word "awesome" entirely too much.

Hey, Pastor Mike is droppin' some phat beats on the youth group...looks like he's bustin' a sag for Jesus.

by Gary Vitalis February 24, 2007