figleaf23's definitions

kisses chainsaws

Ugly or having a very unattractive appearance.

Dude, that chick is so ugly I bet she kisses chainsaws.

by Figleaf23 January 14, 2009

cunt grab

an unfortunately coarse term for the totally non-violent erotic art of inserting one or more fingers into a woman's vagina and then gently closing the hand a few degrees so the palm can stimulate the clitoral area. Very pleasurable for the recipient if done correctly. Done with either the thumb or fingers, depending on your respective directions/facing.

Synonym: box grab
Contrast: pussy-grab

Guy: So dude, d'ja hookup at the party?
Other Guy: Word, dude. I made out with Becky for a while and when I got her panties off I gave her the cunt grab. After a few minutes of that she let me do anything I wanted.

by Figleaf23 August 12, 2007

murphy bed

a built-in bed that folds up into the wall of a room.

Comedian: My first apartment was so small ...
Audience: How small was it?
Comedian: My first apartment was so small the mice had to have murphy beds.

by Figleaf23 December 16, 2008

bombed

a special state of inebriation in which privileged members of society can go unbothered by the authorities

Police Officer: Do you realize you were going 100 in a 50 zone?

Rich Drunk: Sorry, officer, but I'm BOMBED!

Police Officer: Oh, okay sir. Drive carefully.

by Figleaf23 January 14, 2009

primate

the top bishop within a country of any denomination that has bishops

The Archbishop of Canterbury is the primate of the church of England.

by Figleaf23 January 19, 2009

Joe the Rat

nickname of Pope Benedict XVI, formerly Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger

Did you hear what Joe the Rat said in his sermon last Easter?

by Figleaf23 September 14, 2007

flip and drag

a method of dealing with an itchy scrotum wherein the scrotum is flipped to expose the itchy location and then the back of the fingernails are dragged across the area, thereby relieving the itch.

Compare: pinch and roll

Dude #1: "Dude, this itch on the underside of my bag is driving me crazy."
Dude #2: "And you think I care?"
Dude #1: "I've gotta do something about it -- I'll try the flip and drag."
Dude #2: "Whatever, dude."

by Figleaf23 October 2, 2007