Figleaf23's definitions

habberdashery

men's clothing store

I needed a new tie, so I went to a habberdashery and spoke to the habberdasher. Meanwhile, my wife needed a new hat, so she went to the milinery.

by Figleaf23 June 2, 2007

3 dressed up as a 9

on a scale of one to ten, a woman who actually would rate a three presenting superficially as if she were a nine.

"Well you can say what you like
Be what you wanna be
You can suit yourself, baby
But you don't suit me

You're just a 3 dressed up as a 9,
you're only wasting my time."

-Trooper

by Figleaf23 January 1, 2009

Liquor? I don't even know her!

A tired old gag line to say whenever someone says the word 'liquor'.

Drinkin' Man 1: "Hey, let's go get some liquor!"
Drinkin' Man 2: "Liquor? I don't even know her!"

by Figleaf23 September 18, 2007

testilying

telling lies under oath; standard operating procedure for police officers acting as witnesses in trials.

See also: perjury

The story the cops gave was so ridiculous that everyone except the judge knew they were testilying.

by Figleaf23 February 26, 2009

pissaster

to have a urination go really bad for whatever reason. Includes spraying urine everywhere because you tried to piss with a chubby, or having your urine shoot out at one or more 90degree angles due to being gum shut, or any other bad thing happening when you're taking a piss.

Combines 'piss' and 'disaster'.

Dude1: What the fuck happened in the bathroom?
Dude2: It was dark and the lid was down -- a classic recipe for pissaster.
Dude1: Well fuck, clean it up!

by Figleaf23 January 1, 2009

mountbattened

blown up; exploded; detonated

The expression 'mountbattened' comes from Louis Francis Albert Victor Nicholas George Mountbatten, 1st Earl Mountbatten of Burma, who was a British statesman and an uncle of Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh. He was assassinated in 1979 by the Provisional Irish Republican Army, who planted a bomb in his boat -- they mountbattened him.

by Figleaf23 September 5, 2007

pro wrestling

a bizarre form of entertainment product where 'roid monsters and bull queers pose, posture and shout emptyheaded inanities, and once in a while pretend to deliver savage acrobatic beatings to eachother. The beatings are in fact a series of highly stylized stage-fighting stunts.

How pro wrestling gets any audience is one of the great mysteries.

by Figleaf23 January 2, 2009