dirtdawg's definitions

Arse burglary

Obvious violation of the anus by voluntary and involuntary means.

Taken as a continuation of a quote from Monty from Withnail & I.

Man, when you go to jail, drop the soap, it can only mean a good case of arse burglary!

by dirtdawg November 14, 2009

Phantom Jobber

Someone who leaves the toilet in a mess. Normally by leaving sliding faece marks in the bowl. Occasionally they flush, sometimes they do not.

"You been to the shitter recently? The phantom jobber is back again, f**king skids everywhere"

by dirtdawg January 5, 2009

Dirt Pasty

Another word for human or animal defecation - shit.

"Your mate Pete's left another dirt pasty in the oven"

"Man your Girlfriend can bake a dirt pasty. Took me 4 hours to scrub the shitter clean"

by dirtdawg January 5, 2009

fakeluencer

A #fakelunencer is a social media #influencer that looks amazing until you do the digging. Fake (bought) followers, (zero) engagement and they constantly change niche for cash of results in zero ROI.

Payout is usually a hard 💯% narcissistic one for the full witted brand narcissists

John: You catch that douche company paying a 3m follower Instagram #fakeluencer to sell 31 brand t-shirts. They'd have more luck selling it in Primark for a joke.

by dirtdawg August 10, 2019

COVtard

Conjugation of COVID19 and a retard. While a COVidiot is someone who knowingly spreads a fatal virus, a COVtard is reckless and likely psychopathic that they are right doing a life endangering action. Examples include brushing and bumping into people with sweaty skin in the street, wearing headphones and doing a video call while walking around a country in lockdown near missing and bumping into people, to wiping sweat off after exercise and throwing it on a path where children are walking.

Tony: Look that sweaty cyclist just nudged and bumped a mom with her kid with his sweat.... gross.

Abi: Total COVtard.

by dirtdawg May 3, 2020

tiklog

The act of viewing or updating your tiktoc account while having a shit.

I might be some time watching teenage fails during my Tiklog

by dirtdawg August 27, 2020

Cracker Island

A Gorillaz song of the same name referring to the UK and the influence of Brexit, political promises and hard-line 'breakers' forming the cult of the said island.

UK mate. No fruit, vegetables or fresh salad on the shelf. Lovin' the taste of Cracker Island.

by dirtdawg February 24, 2023