cokemidget's definitions

REI

A Relationship Experience Index (REI) is a number assigned to the length of one's longest relationship, which determines who else you can be with after the relationships ends. Basically you can only date people within your own REI.

REI Level 1: 0-1 years
REI Level 2: 2-5 years
REI Level 3: 6-10 years
REI Level 4: Over 10 years

Rick: Hey Consuella, wanna go out with me this friday?

Consuella: Sorry, I'm a REI Level 2 and you're only a Level 1. You KNOW that's not allowed!

Rick: It's ok, I'll just cry myself to sleep tonight.

by cokemidget September 14, 2012

Carbage diet

A diet in which you can eat all the carbs you want as long as you find them in the trash.

Hey, I saw you digging in the garbage at work. Are you poor?

Not poor, just trying this new carbage diet.

by cokemidget November 3, 2020

pronger

Lying about the facts to make yourself feel better about being a weasel and dodging your responsibilities.

The word originates from the infamous hockey player Chris Pronger, who spreads the untrue rumours about irate Edmonton fans burning his furniture, including his baby's crib, after he asked to be traded from the Oilers.

I totally prongered about being sick today. I told my boss I had massive diarrhea, but in fact I just hate my job and didn't feel like going.

by cokemidget January 10, 2009

Rob Fording

The act of getting all wasted and doing crack.

Guy 1: Man, you were out of control last night.
Guy 2: Yeah, I was Rob Fording it pretty hard.

by cokemidget November 10, 2013

chumped

Getting dumped for a chump. It's when you're friends with some chick who you hang out with or whatever, who then starts dating some other chump and never talks to you ever again. This leaves you sitting there on a cold leather couch in your underwear playing Wii bowling, drinking stale MGD, and wondering where the hell your friends are. Then after thinking about it, you come to two logical conclusions:

1. The chick totally had a thing for you. Now that she has a boyfriend, she no longer has use for any other guys she wanted to bang. But in the end, you ended up on top because of #2 (see below):
2. The guy she's dating is totally gay and will probably end up beating her out of frustration.

Hey, you handsome hunk of man meat, weren't you supposed to hang out with Helga tonight?

No, she totally chumped me.

by cokemidget June 23, 2008

pronger

Lying about the facts to make yourself feel better about being a weasel and dodging your responsibilities.

The word originates from the infamous hockey player Chris Pronger, who spreads the untrue rumours about irate Edmonton fans burning his furniture, including his baby's crib, after he asked to be traded from the Oilers. Although Pronger could not be reached for comment, it is assumed he was trying to divert attention from the fact that he asked to be traded from the Oilers after completing a measly one year of his five year contract.

I totally prongered about being sick today. I told my boss I had massive diarrhea, but in fact I just hate my job and didn't feel like going.

by cokemidget January 21, 2008

Junky beers

Having beers with homeless junkies in front of the homeless shelter.

On a Tuesday morning:

AP: what's the plan for today
Marek: let's get coffee and get junky beers
AP: and then what?
Marek: we eat, then go for junky beers

by Cokemidget March 13, 2022