cokemidget's definitions

The Night of Conky

A night where your friend shows up at your house, gets all drunk, and starts talking like Conky from Trailer Park Boys. He/she might also whip out a miniature Conky puppet to add to the effect.

Rachelle: Ravvviiiinnneee.
Colin: Hey Rachelle, how much have you have to drink tonight?
Rachelle: I don't know, stuuupiiid.
Fannie: Somebody take that puppet away from her. It's really pissing me off.
Andrzej: It's The Night of Conky!

by cokemidget August 14, 2009

planned hammer

Basically a pre-scheduled bender. It's a result of turning 30 and having to plan your hangovers around other obligations like your job or your kids.

Sarah: Hey Kimmy, can you take my morning shift at IHOP on Sunday? I have to go to church that morning.

Kimmy: I'd love to, but I have a planned hammer on Saturday. I'm going to a kegger at Lorenzo's house, and i plan on getting white girl wasted.

Sarah: Can I come?

Kimmie: No way churchie.

by cokemidget March 31, 2017

Suicide Sunday

The Sunday following a hefty Saturday night bender. After a long night of drinking, the person usually wakes up at around 2:00 p.m. on Sunday afternoon, and feels so sick and depressed that suicide looks like a very attractive option to end the day.

I did nothing on Saturday night except for chugging 8 beers and a 26 of rye. And Sunday... well let me tell you it was one hell of a Suicide Sunday.

by cokemidget January 3, 2008

chumped

Getting dumped for a chump. It's when you're friends with some chick who you hang out with or whatever, who then starts dating some other chump and never talks to you ever again. This leaves you sitting there on a cold leather couch in your underwear playing Wii bowling, drinking stale MGD, and wondering where the hell your friends are. Then after thinking about it, you come to two logical conclusions:

1. The chick totally had a thing for you. Now that she has a boyfriend, she no longer has use for any other guys she wanted to bang. But in the end, you ended up on top because of #2 (see below):
2. The guy she's dating is totally gay and will probably end up beating her out of frustration.

Hey, you handsome hunk of man meat, weren't you supposed to hang out with Helga tonight?

No, she totally chumped me.

by cokemidget June 23, 2008

filipino gene

A gene carried by certain individuals which causes massive intoxication from minute amounts of alcohol. This recessive gene is predominantly seen in the Filipino community, hence the name.

"Hey what's wrong with Luiz? He just got here and he's already smashed."

"Don't worry about him; that's just the Filipino gene at work."

by cokemidget January 10, 2008

economy leech

An individual who leaves one region to profit from the economic prosperity of another region. Generally, economy leeches have no marketable skills and and therefore contribute very little to the well being of their new environment. They arrive in droves and their presence usually results in a steep increase in rent prices. Economy leeches usually appear disoriented in traffic, and can be identified by their out-of-province license plates and their constant whining about social problems, which they themselves have caused.

In Alberta, economy leeches are sometimes called Buffalo Hunters, in reference to the 19th European settlers who raped and pillaged the bison population of the prairie provinces for their precious hides.

I was totally late to work today. I was driving behind some newfie economy leech who drove 20 under the limit because he didn't know where he was going.

by cokemidget January 15, 2008

Skittlepox

A contagious rash similar to chicken pox, but with edible skittles appearing on a person's body. Popularized in a 2013 Skittles commercial.

Baby, I've got something to tell you. I have skittlepox...on my dick.

Is it contagious?

Just keep sucking it, bitch.

by cokemidget December 16, 2013