cokemidget's definitions

suburban tourist

A douchebag who drives around the suburbs at half the legal speed limit, looking at houses that he and his stuck up yuppie wife would like to purchase. Suburban tourists usually travel in groups of twos or threes in late model Dodge Caravans or VW Jettas, and have a tendency to stop randomly to point and discuss the latest shade of any butt-ugly pastel coloured siding they might encounter. They also love to stare at you when you're mowing the lawn, as they seem to think their stares and finger pointing are invisible to anyone outside their car.

I was late coming home for dinner today. There was a hoard of suburban tourists driving down Rutherford Road. FUCK ME!

by cokemidget June 28, 2008

REI

A Relationship Experience Index (REI) is a number assigned to the length of one's longest relationship, which determines who else you can be with after the relationships ends. Basically you can only date people within your own REI.

REI Level 1: 0-1 years
REI Level 2: 2-5 years
REI Level 3: 6-10 years
REI Level 4: Over 10 years

Rick: Hey Consuella, wanna go out with me this friday?

Consuella: Sorry, I'm a REI Level 2 and you're only a Level 1. You KNOW that's not allowed!

Rick: It's ok, I'll just cry myself to sleep tonight.

by cokemidget September 14, 2012

DIB

A person, often a woman, of aboriginal descent, who is drunk and a bitch. Alternatively, one could say "Bastard" instead of "Bitch".

"Watch out, there's a DIB in that car!"

by cokemidget January 3, 2008

Suicide Sunday

The Sunday following a hefty Saturday night bender. After a long night of drinking, the person usually wakes up at around 2:00 p.m. on Sunday afternoon, and feels so sick and depressed that suicide looks like a very attractive option to end the day.

I did nothing on Saturday night except for chugging 8 beers and a 26 of rye. And Sunday... well let me tell you it was one hell of a Suicide Sunday.

by cokemidget January 3, 2008

Stabcident

An incident where someone is stabbed.

Hey Scott... don’t let this knife fight end with a you in a hospital because of an unexpected stabcident

by cokemidget November 3, 2020

mcf

Credit Union lingo for "Members Come First". Credit Unions are like banks, only better, because they use covert phrases to communicate their dedication to excellent customer service.

MCF guys, MCF! There are 12 members in line, why are you doing another mini balance?

by cokemidget March 1, 2008

planned hammer

Basically a pre-scheduled bender. It's a result of turning 30 and having to plan your hangovers around other obligations like your job or your kids.

Sarah: Hey Kimmy, can you take my morning shift at IHOP on Sunday? I have to go to church that morning.

Kimmy: I'd love to, but I have a planned hammer on Saturday. I'm going to a kegger at Lorenzo's house, and i plan on getting white girl wasted.

Sarah: Can I come?

Kimmie: No way churchie.

by cokemidget March 31, 2017