Uri Geller Smeller

A Uri Geller Smeller is named after the man who claimed he could bend spoons and stop clocks just by looking at them, and is the result of a violent incident of "sitting on a mortar" after a bad curry, when the foul miasma emanates from the WC and works its way around the house bending spoons and stopping clocks as it goes.

Postman: "I shouldn't go to number 10 Downing Street with your warrant just yet without a gas mask, Officer. There's been an incident, a real Uri Geller Smeller."

by bromp March 19, 2008

Barnsley blow job

During sexual congress in the "missionary position", when the lady "drops a gut" with sufficient gusto to blast her suitor's balls up his arsehole.

Rebecca was always going to deliver a Barnsley blow job in revenge for the night when I used her new white designer dress to muffle a fart, after enjoying a one-on-one romp.
The fart was a controlled blockbuster, but the sad proof of the detonation was clear for all to see when the next morning she strode proudly out of my apartment onto the
street, where the neighbours had a good laugh at all the shit up the back of her dress.

by bromp May 10, 2008

Tony Blair Legacy

Bromp's def. is defo on the right track – the Turd Way is indeed The Tony Blair Legacy. He rightly defines this grinning politician in designer clothing with a designer turd clogging the works. But may I suggest that he worked the word Turd to a greater effect, by associating it with Blair's election ticket in 1997 as the harbinger of the Third Way: i.e a typical power-mad politico, who wants to be all things to all men left/right/black/white & centre, who will do literally anything to get elected, even changing religion probably at the instigation of his mad grinning ugly wife in order to be electable as Pres. of the new EU vatican. The Tony Blair Legacy is like The Turd Way.

Bert - “What d'you think of this Barak Obama's chances then – he promises a lot, don't he?”

Sid - “Dunno, Bert, but he might just be part of The Tony Blair Legacy ..”

by bromp May 15, 2008

mortar

To "sit on a mortar" is to suffer the consequences of a 'dirty bomb' detonation.

"Unfortunately Your Highness, my husband had some dodgy prawn chimichongas for lunch and has sat on a mortar, thus he will not be able to attend tea."

by bromp December 09, 2008

kettling

is defined in Magna Farta as "the state of being in dire, immediate need of a shit. From the fact that a metal lid placed over one's clackervalve in such circumstances would rattle urgently, and possibly emit a high-pitched whistle to boot."

At the G20 summit, the newsreader said that the Police had been "kettling" which accurately reflects the agitated state of the officers in the protest, so I am not surprised they were clubbing people to death left right and centre.

by bromp July 24, 2009

Stealth bummer

A man who has successfully concealed his sexuality to take advantage of his heterosexual friends.

Bert - "The pub went queer under the new owner, our lawyer friend. No more real beer, no more blazing fire. Now it's strictly for "style conscious gentlemen" only.

Bill - "Yeah we're done for now - nowhere left to go in the village. Sad. And we thought Mike was one of us. He was just casing the joint. Look at it now - all mirrors and pictures of fucking male pop stars and stuff and shitty music."

Bert - "Makes you sick. Our last real watering hole taken out by a stealth bummer!"

by bromp December 18, 2007

stealth bummer

a homosexual male who disguises his sexulaity in order to get ahead

-"Look at our old mate behind the bar with his bumchum. This was a great pub, no look at it - cocktails, no real ale - and full of style-conscious genlemen with nice fingernails"

-"yeah, our old mate was always a stealth bummer. He'd come and join us with his frustrated wife and join us, but he was just casing the joint."

-"yeah, taken out by a stealth bummer!"

by bromp January 20, 2009