n.) An astoundingly large penis capable of causing trauma if used for regular vaginal intercourse.
I gave Judy the Black and Decker Pussy Wrecker. She hasn't walked right for a week.
by Blenderhead91 March 31, 2009
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Getting Mud for the Turtle

To engage in anal intercourse; to insert one's penis into another's rectum.
I accidently walked in on Dad and Aunt Gloria. he had her bent over and was getting mud for the turtle. I may need to seek therapy.
by Blenderhead91 April 10, 2009
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Baptofascist

(n.) A radical authoritarian ideology fusing (usually Southern) Baptist values with extreme right-wing politics. Baptofascists tend to be the sort of (white) folks who put the Rebel Battleflag on their pick-up truck, use the n-word frequently, and believe in the Rapture. They also mininimize women's role ("Cookin' and cleanin' and servin' their husbands every whim"), are vehemently homo-phobic, and aren't shy about approaching total strangers to ask them if they have yet to accept Jesus Christ as their personal savior. All true Baptofascists are registered Republican, of course. All are pro-second ammendment, against gay marriage, and anti-women's reproductive rights. Baptofascists frequently can be found within earshot of an AM radio spewing Rush Limbaugh's philosophy of hate or The Sean Hannity show. They do not, however, listen to Glenn Beck, because he is a Mormon. Mormons are in league with Satan, silly.
I'm more uncomfortable in these briefs than a Baptofascist at a Gay Pride parade.
by Blenderhead91 March 28, 2009
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Zippy the Squirrel

A squirrel that made national headlines in early 2008, after attacking Mike Huckabee during a campaign speech in Clemson, SC. Mr. Huckabee had admitted to consuming squirrels previously, but revenge was not the apparent motive for the assault. The squirrel leapt from the rafters after scurrying amongst the light fixtures, laning on Huckabee's neck and scratching and biting him there and on his face and ears. Huckabee's comments about state's rights and the flying of the Confederate Battle Flag seemed to incite the rodent to attack. Zippy was subsequently subdued by Chuck Norris. Huckabee's wounds were trivial. DNC chair Howard Dean denied that Zippy was a Democratic Party operative, but did say that squirrels are keen survivors, and that Mike Huckabee is one of the biggest nuts out there.
Zippy the Squirrel did his part to derail Mike Huckabee's Presidential campaign in 2008. His present whereabouts are unknown.
by Blenderhead91 September 05, 2010
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Three Tattoo Rule

The scientific rule that states "If a girl has more than three tattoos, she'll probably take it in the ass."
1.) At first, I didn't buy into the Three Tattoo Rule, but eight years later and a few more romantic encounters under my belt, I'd have to say it's true.

2.) Cindy didn't disappoint. She was covered in ink and reaffirmed my belief in the Three Tattoo Rule.
by Blenderhead91 June 08, 2009
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Sneak peek at Jesus

To have a near-death experience.
Neil: "Wow, Vince, we all thought you were a goner. I never saw somebody survive being sexually molested by a polar bear!"

Vince: "Dude, I got a sneak peek at Jesus."
by Blenderhead91 March 31, 2009
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twat junk

A cheesy, foul-smelling paste produced by a chronically unwashed vagina. Frequently, it will collect around the vulva where it waits to ambush the unsuspecting when panties are removed in anticipation of (usually oral)intercourse. Twat junk is commonly associated with various infections of the cunt and invariably forms pasty little pellets that may adhere to the labia or collect in the undergarments.
I hope Neil used a gasmask when he went down on Darlene. That girl's twat junk is just plain noxious!
by Blenderhead91 March 26, 2009
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