blenderhead91's definitions

crotch onion

(n.) an unwashed, smelly ballsack. A person who suffers from is condition may be referred to as an "onion crotch."

Just let Buster get in there and give your nuts a sniff, Nate. He's a good dog, and he sure knows a crotch onion when he catches whiff of one!

by Blenderhead91 June 21, 2012

Gerbolocaust

(n.) The mass slaughter of gerbils (typically by suffocation or crushing) attributed to Acadamy Award Winner Richard Gere's ass. Sometimes the mass slaughter of hamsters attributed to Mr. Gere's asshole are also included in this definition.

PETA admits that it's still unclear to this day just how many gerbils Richard Gere killed during the Gerbolocaust. All of the little bodies were never recovered and Mr. Gere has been uncooperative with the investigating organizations.

by Blenderhead91 September 7, 2010

fiddling the ferret

To masturbate. To stroke one's own penis. To jerk off.

After Sara turned out to be a bitch and he realized Heather was a gold-digging whore, Al stayed home, glumly fiddling the ferret to porn he found on imagefap.

by Blenderhead91 September 7, 2010

Zippy the Squirrel

A squirrel that made national headlines in early 2008, after attacking Mike Huckabee during a campaign speech in Clemson, SC. Mr. Huckabee had admitted to consuming squirrels previously, but revenge was not the apparent motive for the assault. The squirrel leapt from the rafters after scurrying amongst the light fixtures, laning on Huckabee's neck and scratching and biting him there and on his face and ears. Huckabee's comments about state's rights and the flying of the Confederate Battle Flag seemed to incite the rodent to attack. Zippy was subsequently subdued by Chuck Norris. Huckabee's wounds were trivial. DNC chair Howard Dean denied that Zippy was a Democratic Party operative, but did say that squirrels are keen survivors, and that Mike Huckabee is one of the biggest nuts out there.

Zippy the Squirrel did his part to derail Mike Huckabee's Presidential campaign in 2008. His present whereabouts are unknown.

by Blenderhead91 September 5, 2010

banana boob

(n.) a woman's breast that slopes smoothly into its terminus with a pointy nipple. Breasts afflicted with banana boob usually have puffy or atomic nipples. Fondness for tits of this nature is considered to be a fetish. One thing's for sure, they are most definitely highly suckable.

Diane's banana boobs could potentially detach your retina. Be careful!

by blenderhead91 September 1, 2010

delayed foreskin separation anxiety disorder

The realization that usually occurs around thirty-five, and most typically in men who have been circumsized (it's generally unheard of in women), that your foreskin is gone, it isn't coming back, and that you miss it. Complete mental breakdowns have been attributed to this disorder (which is found in the DSM-IV-R).

Biff: Doctor Rob, what am I gonna do? I miss it so much...It's just too hard to go on without it. Is there any way to help me? Can we maybe find it on the internet?

Doctor Rob: Somehow, Biff, i doubt your foreskin is living a successful and happy life in the suburbs of Cleveland. I'm sure it more likely found its way to the hospital incinerator shortly after you were born. You've got delayed foreskin separation anxiety disorder, and I'm prescribing Paxil and Diazapam. They should help you out.

by Blenderhead91 April 27, 2010

As fresh as a stroll on the beach

A phrase used to describe the odor produced by a woman's vagina. This is a polite way of saying that her vulva smells like dead sea creatures.

Doug: I remember the first time I got into Nicole's panties.

Phil: Oh yeah? What was it like?

Doug: As fresh as a stroll on the beach, man.

Phil: That seems to be everybody's opinion of what her crotch smells like. Rotting salmon, decomposing shrimp, with a hint of dead walrus.

by blenderhead91 April 25, 2010