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blenderhead91's definitions

fiddling the ferret

To masturbate. To stroke one's own penis. To jerk off.
After Sara turned out to be a bitch and he realized Heather was a gold-digging whore, Al stayed home, glumly fiddling the ferret to porn he found on imagefap.
by Blenderhead91 September 7, 2010
mugGet the fiddling the ferretmug.

Romancing the Stone

Having sex (regular or receiving oral) while passing a kidney stone in hopes that it will pass when you ejaculate.
Phil: How goes the renal calculi this morning, bro?

Doug: I may have passed that fucker. I was romancing the stone last night with that whore Nicole, and when I busted a nut, it was all bloody and gooey. Probably lodged like a stalagtite up there against her uterus.

Phil: I found my car keys up there once....
by blenderhead91 April 25, 2010
mugGet the Romancing the Stonemug.

Lap Cannon

(n.) a pseudonym for a gigantic cock; an abnormally large penis.
I wish that little honey would come over here and slob on my lap cannon.
by Blenderhead91 March 31, 2009
mugGet the Lap Cannonmug.

Baptofascist

(n.) A radical authoritarian ideology fusing (usually Southern) Baptist values with extreme right-wing politics. Baptofascists tend to be the sort of (white) folks who put the Rebel Battleflag on their pick-up truck, use the n-word frequently, and believe in the Rapture. They also mininimize women's role ("Cookin' and cleanin' and servin' their husbands every whim"), are vehemently homo-phobic, and aren't shy about approaching total strangers to ask them if they have yet to accept Jesus Christ as their personal savior. All true Baptofascists are registered Republican, of course. All are pro-second ammendment, against gay marriage, and anti-women's reproductive rights. Baptofascists frequently can be found within earshot of an AM radio spewing Rush Limbaugh's philosophy of hate or The Sean Hannity show. They do not, however, listen to Glenn Beck, because he is a Mormon. Mormons are in league with Satan, silly.
I'm more uncomfortable in these briefs than a Baptofascist at a Gay Pride parade.
by Blenderhead91 March 28, 2009
mugGet the Baptofascistmug.

banana boob

(n.) a woman's breast that slopes smoothly into its terminus with a pointy nipple. Breasts afflicted with banana boob usually have puffy or atomic nipples. Fondness for tits of this nature is considered to be a fetish. One thing's for sure, they are most definitely highly suckable.
Diane's banana boobs could potentially detach your retina. Be careful!
by blenderhead91 September 1, 2010
mugGet the banana boobmug.

Getting Mud for the Turtle

To engage in anal intercourse; to insert one's penis into another's rectum.
I accidently walked in on Dad and Aunt Gloria. he had her bent over and was getting mud for the turtle. I may need to seek therapy.
by Blenderhead91 April 9, 2009
mugGet the Getting Mud for the Turtlemug.
The realization that usually occurs around thirty-five, and most typically in men who have been circumsized (it's generally unheard of in women), that your foreskin is gone, it isn't coming back, and that you miss it. Complete mental breakdowns have been attributed to this disorder (which is found in the DSM-IV-R).
Biff: Doctor Rob, what am I gonna do? I miss it so much...It's just too hard to go on without it. Is there any way to help me? Can we maybe find it on the internet?

Doctor Rob: Somehow, Biff, i doubt your foreskin is living a successful and happy life in the suburbs of Cleveland. I'm sure it more likely found its way to the hospital incinerator shortly after you were born. You've got delayed foreskin separation anxiety disorder, and I'm prescribing Paxil and Diazapam. They should help you out.
by Blenderhead91 April 27, 2010
mugGet the delayed foreskin separation anxiety disordermug.

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