al-in-chgo's definitions

Wingnut Welfare Queen

Popularized by the blog Sadly, No, the term "Wingnut Welfare Queen" refers not to a poor person, but to a low-talent, self-appointed pundit of the right, male or female, of the type who have become prominent in large patches of media, Washington D.C. think tanks and the Republican Party, and who depend on some mix of right-wing money, praise or contacts to boost and further their careers. Putting the "wingnut" in Wingnut Welfare Queen means the media figure will be not just predictably or reliably conservative or ultra-conservative, but doggedly and irrationally so.

Many Wingnut Welfare Queens style themselves "Populists"; nonetheless, some some appear to take relish in the abrasiveness and ad hominem quality of their attacks on individuals they perceive as not necessarily contrary in ideology, but lacking in fervor.

A Wingnut Welfare Queen's natural adversaries inhabit the best-recompensed strata of left-wing academia and the leftmost edge of the Democratic Party, with some holdouts on the op-ed pages of liberal metropolitan daily newspapers; they are the upper-tier of the class called Poverty Pimp (q.v.), code-word "Progressive."

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"What I dislike most of all is not her meretriciousness or meanness, but the way she acts as though she were God's Gift to American politics."

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"Yep. Follow her career and you'll see how a gossipy media princess with a right-wing tilt became a full-blown wingnut welfare queen."

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by al-in-chgo July 7, 2010

jackoff buddy

A friend who helps you with mutual masturbation, usually male-on-male.

A jackoff buddy promises a more limited repertoire than a fuck buddy.

by al-in-chgo August 4, 2012

jackoff artist

A person (usually a man) who is good at masturbation, but since that rudimentary skill requires no particular training, it's usually used to mean someone who has no particular skills at anything beyond masturbation. An American way to designate a "wanker."

"Bob says he's an air-guitar artist."

"Bob is a jackoff artist at best. I'm not even sure he can perform air-guitar."

by al-in-chgo April 1, 2013

Jes sayin'

A mild dialect-in-writing variant of "just sayin'," a phrase that follows a statement or affirmation that might potentially give offense in order to defuse any insult.

Standard English equivalent = "No offense."

"You buzzed that guy in? Suppose he was some sort of murderer or rapist?"

"That so-called murderer and rapist just happens to be my brother."

"Jes sayin'."

by al-in-chgo October 31, 2013

pun

A play on words. Generally a pun takes a word that is quite understandable in context and replaces it with a homonym (same-sounding word) to create an entirely new meaning, or replaces a word with a similar-sounding one to the same effect.

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A pun involving a word with two possible meanings --

Nurse, to young woman about to receive a vaccination:

"You're going to feel a little prick."

Woman: "It wouldn't be the first time."

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A pun that uses a similar-sounding term to the expected one, to humorous effect --

A one-liner: "JFK's private life was so sexy they should have called his administration Cum-A-Lot."

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by al-in-chgo March 13, 2010

bogosity

From "BOgus" (fake, false, faux) + "-OSITY" (humorous suffix, compare "Heaviosity" at this site):

1. The quality of something that is manifestly false (or bogus)

2. Something contrived, or patently false, designed to project a pleasing image or message through the media (newspapers, TV news, etc).

3. A polite way to say "bullshit," when the situation calls for something a little milder.

(Speaking of politicians who project a "folksy" manner when they themselves are not of humble beginnings):

"But alas, judgments about who's faking it are left primarily to what we might call (for the imposed lack of a more familiar but less printable term)* the bogosity detectors of the American people."

Meghan Daum, L.A. Times columnist, August 12, 2011 (printed in Chicago Tribune).

* She means "Bullshit."

by al-in-chgo August 16, 2011

shaggy dog story

A long, convoluted anecdote, often told simply to result in a sentence that consists almost entirely of puns.

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One classic shaggy dog story involves a man named Hugh who is out to stop a couple of monks from growing flowers for money:

"Remember Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars."

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by al-in-chgo March 13, 2010