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al-in-chgo's definitions

jackoff artist

A person (usually a man) who is good at masturbation, but since that rudimentary skill requires no particular training, it's usually used to mean someone who has no particular skills at anything beyond masturbation. An American way to designate a "wanker."
"Bob says he's an air-guitar artist."

"Bob is a jackoff artist at best. I'm not even sure he can perform air-guitar."
by al-in-chgo April 1, 2013
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Wingnut Welfare Queen

Popularized by the blog Sadly, No, the term "Wingnut Welfare Queen" refers not to a poor person, but to a low-talent, self-appointed pundit of the right, male or female, of the type who have become prominent in large patches of media, Washington D.C. think tanks and the Republican Party, and who depend on some mix of right-wing money, praise or contacts to boost and further their careers. Putting the "wingnut" in Wingnut Welfare Queen means the media figure will be not just predictably or reliably conservative or ultra-conservative, but doggedly and irrationally so.

Many Wingnut Welfare Queens style themselves "Populists"; nonetheless, some some appear to take relish in the abrasiveness and ad hominem quality of their attacks on individuals they perceive as not necessarily contrary in ideology, but lacking in fervor.

A Wingnut Welfare Queen's natural adversaries inhabit the best-recompensed strata of left-wing academia and the leftmost edge of the Democratic Party, with some holdouts on the op-ed pages of liberal metropolitan daily newspapers; they are the upper-tier of the class called Poverty Pimp (q.v.), code-word "Progressive."
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"What I dislike most of all is not her meretriciousness or meanness, but the way she acts as though she were God's Gift to American politics."

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"Yep. Follow her career and you'll see how a gossipy media princess with a right-wing tilt became a full-blown wingnut welfare queen."

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by al-in-chgo July 7, 2010
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bogosity

From "BOgus" (fake, false, faux) + "-OSITY" (humorous suffix, compare "Heaviosity" at this site):

1. The quality of something that is manifestly false (or bogus)

2. Something contrived, or patently false, designed to project a pleasing image or message through the media (newspapers, TV news, etc).

3. A polite way to say "bullshit," when the situation calls for something a little milder.
(Speaking of politicians who project a "folksy" manner when they themselves are not of humble beginnings):

"But alas, judgments about who's faking it are left primarily to what we might call (for the imposed lack of a more familiar but less printable term)* the bogosity detectors of the American people."

Meghan Daum, L.A. Times columnist, August 12, 2011 (printed in Chicago Tribune).

* She means "Bullshit."
by al-in-chgo August 16, 2011
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mercy fuck

The recipient of sex given to him/her by someone who would normally consider that person beneath him/her, or otherwise sexually undesirable.
In Woody Allen's movie CELEBRITY, the Kenneth Branagh character gets tossed a mercy fuck by the starlet played by Melanie Griffith; they both knew there would be no second act, that it was a unique occurrence.

If someone hot wanted to go to bed with you, and you thought they were just doing it as a mercy fuck, would you go ahead and enjoy it, or would pride get in the way?

There is very little difference between a mercy fuck and a pity fuck, but they are not the same as a sympathy fuck, which has more to do with make-up sex. Mercy fuck is more like winning the sex lottery.
by al-in-chgo February 18, 2010
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lip fur

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"The model Jeff York has some of the nicest lip fur I've ever seen."

"Yeah, John Stossel's is pretty great, too."

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by al-in-chgo March 13, 2010
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puppy-dog book

A used book (overall condition unimportant) that an avid reader "rescues" from a library sale, used-bookstore, clearance shelf, or home of a downsizing relative, without any immediate need for it but in the fear it will be pulped otherwise. The term puppy-dog comes from the similarity to rescuing an animal and taking it home to a house already full of cats and dogs, for fear it would otherwise be euthanized.
"Did you really need to buy DISCOURSES ON LIVY by Niccolo Machiavelli?"
"Well . . . it's a puppy-dog book to me. It's a good clean copy, it was cheap, eventually I may find time to read it, and most of all I couldn't bear the idea of it hitting the recycling bin and sent to print heaven."
by al-in-chgo August 4, 2016
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tuchus oyfn tish

Pronounced "TOOK-us OY-f'n tish." Many variant spellings. Literally "ass on the table," it's a Yiddish phrase meaning a serious atmosphere for talk or negotiation. Closest US-English equivalents are probably "No BS" or "(Let's get down to) brass tacks." Often used in a tone of exasperation. Generally recommended for use within members of the same sex.
"Elliot, come into the dining room. We need to make travel plans NOW or they won't get done."

"But Uncle Bernie, the game starts in half an hour."

"Plenty of time if you stop fooling around. Cmon: tuchus oyfn tish."
by al-in-chgo December 24, 2013
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