Yopmail User's definitions

Avatar: The Way of Water

-This shit happens more than ten years after the fucking prequel.
-Humans invade Pandora.
-The dead guy named Miles Quaritch turns out to be blue and alive.

-Jake's kids get kidnapped and freed (Spider being an exception).
-Jake and his family move to the fucking ocean.
-Lo'ak (Jake's son) fights some dude and almost gets fucking eaten by a predator.
-A tulkun named Payakan saves him (he's ostracized because he fought with the dudes who killed his mother).
-Kiri has a seizure. She lives because muh plot armor.
-Quaritch massacres the fucking tulkuns. Their brains prevent aging.
-Jake and his family get trapped in a sunken vessel (Payakan attacks it and kills the crew earlier).
-Lo'ak, Tsireya (Metkayina princess), and Tuk (Jack's daughter) get captured and live.
-Neteyam (Jake's son) dies. The other kids live.
-Quaritch holds Kiri (Jake's daughter) hostage until Neytiri (Jake's wife) cuts Spider's chest with a knife.
-Spider saves Quaritch and fucking stays on Pandora.
-Jake and his family stay underwater.

Avatar: The Way of Water sucks ass. Read these spoilers instead.

by Yopmail User December 18, 2022

Cop

Latin for "donut fetishist."

Mentions of donut restaurants are telltale signs that the dude you're talking to is actually an undercover cop who's ready to molest you.

by Yopmail User December 24, 2022

new years

To perform this sex act, you need to gather the vomit, shit, saliva, and cum/vaginal fluids of ten kindergarteners whose birthdays fall on January/September 1st, as well as your own. Pour them in a blender and let the mixture blend for thirty minutes. After it's finished, make a human centipede out of the kindergarteners with a staplegun, feed the mixture and some laxatives to the first kid, and quickly staple his anus to the last kid's mouth to finish the cycle of gurgling and shitting. It should be noted that the kids will try to break free, so it won't hurt to glue their limbs to the floor. After an hour, break the link between the first and last kid, give the first kid Diet Coke and Mentos up the ass, and quickly staple his ass to the last kid's mouth. Finish the act by beating off on each kid's face.

New Years is every politician's favorite sex act.

by Yopmail User January 8, 2023

facebook

The act of placing tracking chips on a small child's ankle and in his eye sockets before forcing him to drink ten gallons of a mixture of your saliva, spit, cum, vomit, snot, piss, and sweat, among other bodily fluids; others can be used if necessary. Once you have that down, ram your cock up his ass (and vagina if female) as hard as possible before skullfucking him in his nostrils and ears. After you finish that, gaze at his naked body while throwing condoms at him for half an hour before tearing off one of his limbs, using it as a fleshlight, and making him take a bite out of it. You will then need to knock him unconscious and rape him repeatedly in most of his bodily crevices. Once the act is done, bring him home as if nothing happened, stalk him extensively, and take pictures of his body while he's sleeping. Get some Diet Coke and Mentos and hold it against the stub where his severed limb used to be.

Facebook harvests your personal info so they can perform this sex act.

by Yopmail User November 26, 2023

The Emoji Movie

If you, by some miracle, are actually thinking of watching this school shooting of a "movie," please dial the Suicide Hotline: [phone]. Watching it is, to say the least, an incredibly painful way to fucking die. And to those of you who have watched it, I wish you'd known how much you'd be missed before then.

The Emoji Movie makes the Holocaust look fucking hilarious.

by Yopmail User April 10, 2023

Imgflip

Twitter for retarded tweens. This shitty meme site for faggots is plagued its extremely toxic community that acts like the entitled fucks they are over the most retarded reasons. A huge chunk of the userbase, mostly consisting of said faggots, gang rapes their brethren as soon as they post anything pertaining to upvotes. These faggots are the ones posting shitty "memes" that can and will give you Ebola and AIDS. There are a handful of normal, sensible people there, but that doesn't say much.

The clusterfuck of a faggotcopter we like to call Imgflip can go fuck itself to Hell and back.

by Yopmail User April 10, 2023

Fridge

To put on a condom, freeze your dick in a fridge, and anally and vaginally penetrate your girlfriend with the frozen condom on. To spice things up a bit, put some crushed ghost pepper in the condom and attempt to break the icy condom as you penetrate her.

I nearly rendered the both of us sterile after I spicily fridged my girlfriend.

by Yopmail User April 10, 2023