Yopmail User's definitions

Eat

To simultaneously shit and piss in a girl's mouth. Using her mouth as a bowl, you must use a spoon to fish out parts of the mixture (which now contains saliva, and possibly vomit), which you then eat. Once her mouth is (mostly) free of shit and piss, you must spit the mixture in her vagina and perform cunnilingus on her. Bonus points if she is having her period. Swallow when you are finished.

Guy 1: wanna "go out" to eat?
Girl 1: YEAH!!!!!
Guy 1: good, come over to my place tomorrow
*The next day*
Guy 1 (while shitting and pissing): HNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGG
Girl 1: S-STO- *garglegarglegarglegargle*

by Yopmail User July 8, 2022

Your Child's Asscrack

If Joe Biden is even ten miles away from it, you're fucked.

Reporting live from Yopmail User News! A man and his child have committed suicide after Joe Biden ravaged the kid's asscrack! If you give a shit about your child's asscrack, don't let the Joepedo near it.

by Yopmail User November 6, 2022

antidisestablishmentarianism

1. (n.) Opposition of the separation of church and state.
2. (n.) A word you can't spell correctly. I can.
3. (n.) A word you only know exists because of that Wikipedia definition you read five seconds ago.

1. Antidisestablishmentarianism was first developed in 19th century Britain. Blah blah blah blah shit no one cares about.
2. Stand in front of the mirror with your pants down and spell antidisestablishmentarianism at the top of your lungs. I dare you.
3. Real antidisestablishmentarians don't use Wikipedia. Grow some balls.

by Yopmail User July 4, 2023

Declare War on the North Pole Day

A day for naughty kids to arm themselves with Nerf guns, marking their futile declaration of war against Santa and the North Pole. Always occurs on December 26th.

Declare War on the North Pole Day 2022
Naughty kid 1: I-I-I saw it in F-Fortnite! I-if we enter through the front door we will kill the elves and s-s-seize the means of production!
Rest of the naughty kids: H-HEIL... C-C-COMMUNISM!! PRAISE STALIN AND FORTNITE!!
Santa Claus: *exits workshop* The fuck is this shit?
Naughty kids: FORTNITE BATTLE PASS PLZZZZ!!! FOLLOW MY TIKTO-
*Santa guns them all down with an AR-15*

by Yopmail User February 23, 2023

Avatar: The Way of Water

-This shit happens more than ten years after the fucking prequel.
-Humans invade Pandora.
-The dead guy named Miles Quaritch turns out to be blue and alive.

-Jake's kids get kidnapped and freed (Spider being an exception).
-Jake and his family move to the fucking ocean.
-Lo'ak (Jake's son) fights some dude and almost gets fucking eaten by a predator.
-A tulkun named Payakan saves him (he's ostracized because he fought with the dudes who killed his mother).
-Kiri has a seizure. She lives because muh plot armor.
-Quaritch massacres the fucking tulkuns. Their brains prevent aging.
-Jake and his family get trapped in a sunken vessel (Payakan attacks it and kills the crew earlier).
-Lo'ak, Tsireya (Metkayina princess), and Tuk (Jack's daughter) get captured and live.
-Neteyam (Jake's son) dies. The other kids live.
-Quaritch holds Kiri (Jake's daughter) hostage until Neytiri (Jake's wife) cuts Spider's chest with a knife.
-Spider saves Quaritch and fucking stays on Pandora.
-Jake and his family stay underwater.

Avatar: The Way of Water sucks ass. Read these spoilers instead.

by Yopmail User December 18, 2022

Imgflip

Twitter for retarded tweens. This shitty meme site for faggots is plagued its extremely toxic community that acts like the entitled fucks they are over the most retarded reasons. A huge chunk of the userbase, mostly consisting of said faggots, gang rapes their brethren as soon as they post anything pertaining to upvotes. These faggots are the ones posting shitty "memes" that can and will give you Ebola and AIDS. There are a handful of normal, sensible people there, but that doesn't say much.

The clusterfuck of a faggotcopter we like to call Imgflip can go fuck itself to Hell and back.

by Yopmail User April 10, 2023

Richard Nixon

This is when two or more males engage in mutual masturbation, then dock each other just before they ejaculate. The docking must last as long as it takes for the cum to harden on both of their dicks. After that, they must attempt to separate the heads of their dicks in the most painful ways possible.

I used to be a pariah like you until I Richard Nixoned 78 thirteen-year-old boys.

by Yopmail User April 12, 2023