15 definition by Yahoo! Answers Phil J

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Masturbating while pooping. Killing 2 turds and 1 bone. The splooge deuce can be enjoyed by both males and females. It is most enjoyable when you time your orgasm as you pinch a turd off.
My girlfriend and I were making out but because of her menstrual cycle and the diarrhea that accompanies it, we could not make love that night so instead we went into the bathroom together and watched eachother enjoy a splooge deuce.
by Yahoo! Answers Phil J January 01, 2009

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Pronounced FAR-shun. Rationing a fart in order to use it at a more "appropriate" time.
I had bad gas while sitting at my desk so I fartioned it to use while in the elevator with my boss later.
by Yahoo! Answers Phil J January 18, 2009

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Male sperm cells.
Last night I was laying in my bed masturbating.

I finished off with a kleenex full of little swimmers.
by Yahoo! Answers Phil J January 05, 2009

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When your female partner is taking a dump on the toilet, you're performing oral sex on her, then she pinches off a heavy turd which hits the toilet water and splashes your face.
"Hey Phil, did you know that girls don't poop?"

"What the hell are you talking about, my girlfriend gave me a blumwash last night and it was fucking sexy."
by Yahoo! Answers Phil J January 09, 2009

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Acronym for Pre-Poop Fart, the flatulent signalling for the beginning of a large-intestine processional.
Me: "My favorite bone in your body is mine"
My Girlfriend: "Ohhh ohhh harder Philly, harder!!"
Me: "Sorry about the PPFs, do you want a Cleveland Steamer?"
by Yahoo! Answers Phil J December 08, 2008

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A nice and discreet way of referring to a female with an STD.
Phil: "Hey man, have you gotten around the bases yet with that hot babe you met at the bar last week?"

Steve: "No brother, I slid into third because I heard she's a sexy topless dancer."

Phil: "Ahhh OK. You don't want those crotch critters."
by Yahoo! Answers Phil J February 24, 2009

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Taking on a difficult task.

Synonymous to successful masturbation without pornography.
"I've always been a shy guy but I think she'll go out with me if I ask politely."
-- "All things are possible if you can come without porn."

"If I can come without porn I can get a 4.0"

"She won't give me a blumkin unless you believe in coming without porn"
by Yahoo! Answers Phil J November 08, 2009

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