15 definition by Yahoo! Answers Phil J

My girlfriend and I were making out but because of her menstrual cycle and the diarrhea that accompanies it, we could not make love that night so instead we went into the bathroom together and watched eachother enjoy a splooge deuce.

I had bad gas while sitting at my desk so I fartioned it to use while in the elevator with my boss later.

Last night I was laying in my bed masturbating.

I finished off with a kleenex full of little swimmers.

"Hey Phil, did you know that girls don't poop?"

"What the hell are you talking about, my girlfriend gave me a blumwash last night and it was fucking sexy."

Me: "My favorite bone in your body is mine"
My Girlfriend: "Ohhh ohhh harder Philly, harder!!"
Me: "Sorry about the PPFs, do you want a Cleveland Steamer?"

Phil: "Hey man, have you gotten around the bases yet with that hot babe you met at the bar last week?"

Steve: "No brother, I slid into third because I heard she's a sexy topless dancer."

Phil: "Ahhh OK. You don't want those crotch critters."

"I've always been a shy guy but I think she'll go out with me if I ask politely."
-- "All things are possible if you can come without porn."

"If I can come without porn I can get a 4.0"

"She won't give me a blumkin unless you believe in coming without porn"