Suzie was perusing Twitter and came across Kelly Loeffler's tweet from book of Matthew. "Wait isn't she the insider-trading gal?" she thought to herself. "My god these depraved republicans always do Performative Bible like we don't know they broke the law"
by Uncle Joosie December 28, 2020
NBC Nightly News ran a segment about some asshole-teen in North Carolina not wanting to wear a mask at school. "some say masks are good; others say they're bad" the reporter noted. when Brenda heard that she rolled her eyes and said "aww, Jaden has a sad"
by Uncle Joosie December 01, 2021
Bruce was watching the vice presidential debate with his roommate, Carl, and Kamala Harris walked out. "she's amazing!" Bruce exclaimed. when cameras panned to Mike Pence, Carl dropped his beer. "OMG WTF is wrong with Pence? his eyes are obviously diseased. after breathing air in White House's contagious-disease cluster looks like he's got Covid Eye!"
by Uncle Joosie October 08, 2020
Harold asked Google to send a text to Jerome "don't be a cunt, man!"; in its translation Google censored the C word as "C***". "I will not be cunt-silenced!" Harold screamed at his phone
by Uncle Joosie March 01, 2020
"Flaking the chain" is usually a term yachties use for making sure a boat's anchor chain doesn't get tangled when pulled up inside the vessel... but it's ALSO slang for when dudes working on yachts bust a nut in confined staff cabins, usually a quickie and in secret when the bunkmate is away.
by Uncle Joosie January 07, 2023
Carla took her Rat Terrier Clyde for a walk and came across a newly fertilized lawn; Clyde promptly started shitrolling to get the scent all over him
by Uncle Joosie June 23, 2020
Carl was so pissed at Trump about revoking DACA that he opened twitter, wrote a joke and angry tapped the Tweet button.
by Uncle Joosie February 06, 2018