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Torbert's definitions

iPhone Pancake

An iPhone Pancake is a falsehood , a bad simulation, something that is either too good to be true or scary, too bad to be true. Or, something that is not what it seems. The description comes from the iPhone ads for the iPhone XS where a planet is depicted on the screen and it looks like a pancake because of the angle of the phone in the picture.
My mom got this email saying she owed the IRS $30,000. I checked it out it was a total iPhone Pancake.

Man, I met what i thought was this super hot girl last night at the Reggie's party, we went to her place and we got naked and she turned out to be a guy! A total iPhone Pancake!
by Torbert October 19, 2018
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Marfed

Marfed is when your cat throws up a not completely dead mouse or similar small animal.
Nug was on the couch wheezing and then he Marfed . The mouse , a little stunned woke up and scattered.

Holy shit Sam. I swear you owe me a new car. I drove you home and right when we stopped, you Marfed up that Lasagna and it moved.
by Torbert November 9, 2018
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zipper critter

A Zipper Critter is a cute or friendly, familiar name name for genitalia often hidden from view by pants but accessed through a zipper.
Jenny, coming up on her third date with Larry was sure she 'd get to see his zipper critter.

Look at Bruce , he's totally happy. I bet he got some lap time with Lisa's Zipper Critter last night.
by Torbert July 6, 2018
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Wincest

When you marry two half empty or more windex bottles to create a single more full more bottle of Windex
Megan WIncested the cleaning supplies so now we can give Dad a full bottle and his windows a thorough cleaning.

Jeanie can you Wincest those mostly empty bottles before that new hire gets here? I don't want him to think were cheap on supplies on his first day at the car wash.
by Torbert July 6, 2018
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Thai Soccer Team

A Thai Soccer Team is a poop that won’t come out or just a state of constipation.
Hey can we take that run later I’ve got a Thai soccer Team at the moment. I’m going to have a cup of coffee to help blow them out.
by Torbert July 14, 2018
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jumper

A jumper is a feces that was a cliffhanger, but lets go to fall into your underpants or outer garment.
Oh man , right before my big presentation this morning I had a jumper. Luckily, it hit the florr. I acouple centimeters more i would've had to cancel.
by Torbert July 19, 2019
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Jumper

A jumper is a feces still in the shoot but it’s dangling by a thread, and then let’s go to spoil your under wear or outer clothes.
This morning I almost had to cancel the presentation as I was taking a shit and I had a jumper that barely missed my pants. Luckily it hit the floor!
by Torbert July 25, 2019
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